How Shayla Gifford Built a Billion-Dollar Real Estate Empire (Her Wealth Playbook)

0:01Welcome to the Be Wealthy Podcast, where we bring entrepreneurs the strategies and tactics to grow your business and unlock new opportunities. Once you've achieved success, we'll teach you how to think about your money. Because wealth is about more than just cash flow. It's about freedom. Now, our host, Brett Tanner. Welcome back to the Be Wealthy Podcast. I am so excited for today's guest because like myself, she is obsessed with human performance. What makes us better? How do we get incrementally better every single day? Uh I couldn't be more excited. We were we were actually just talking the last 20 minutes going back and forth and we're like we should just turn the mic on and start talking. And so you're going to get to to hear that now. Uh Shayla, welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy to have you here.
Thank you Brent. It's an honor. So before we jump in, I want to start with the early days, right? It's easy to look at someone like you who's one of the top loan originators in the country, wildly successful and has a massive massive uh world and asset base and what

1:06I call right, you're truly running a family office, right? You are absolutely in every definition doing really two things. And every one of the users out there and one of our our members and guests uh are doing the same thing, right? I have two beliefs. Everyone's running a bank, right? You've got inflows and outflows in your world regardless of how big your world is. And you can run a really great one and a really crappy one. Uh that's your choice. Uh and you're also running a family office, right? Family offices used to be you had to have a hundred million dollars plus multiple families. So you could bring all those services legal and financial all in house. And today with technology and the way the world is, we're every one of us is running a family office. And Shay, you are doing it better than almost anyone I know. So I'm so excited to break down your trajectory, your life, and everything. So, let's start with here's Shayla today at the top of the mountain. She's done all these incredible things and tackling the world. Take me back to Shayla. Where did it all start? Did you start with tons of money and you grew up like, "Oh, I just had this incredible playbook that I just followed what my my parents did."
Yeah. So, I'm 44 today. I live in Reno,

2:09Nevada. We spend time between Reno and Tahoe. Um, I've got two daughters that are 14 and 11. Gayen and I have been married for 16 years. You know Gayen well. You're coaching Gayen right now and he's probably one of the coolest dudes on the planet and just like I just feel so lucky honestly.
You took the words out of my mouth. He really is like the coolest dude I know. Like he is the coolest dude. It's the there's no other way to say it and brilliant and the coolest dude which is so rare
and so much fun. um which has been good for me because I'm quite intense and focused and driven and um Galen knows how to smell the roses and like just actually you know enjoy life um which I've learned so much with him. Um so you know my parents both came from impoverished upbringings and you know devastation and and losing parents and divorce and poverty and different things and so they started a business young. Um, my dad was in drywall and and stucco and construction for 40 years. Him and

3:13my mom started uh the business before they were allowed to have a construction license. And I was born when they were 21 years old. And so, as a little girl, Brett, I really didn't feel um like I was seen or paid attention to or even kind of was very special. I think I really wanted to be daddy's little girl and sit on daddy's lap and but and play. And I, you know, he was coming home at night with his drywall boots on and rolling out a set of plans and going back to work and um and so early on I realized like or I made a decision in that young brain that I'm not good enough, you know, and so at
what age is this? How old are you when you had this experience? I well I've done a lot of work now at 44 to figure this out because it's been really helpful for me to figure out how to keep unlocking to that next level of wholeness of joy of success of leadership of of peace. And so I think around the age of four, you know, I remember like really wanting to, you

4:17know, play and be swung around and dance and all those kinds of things. And you know, kind of getting the message that we work around here. And, you know, you need to be independent, you need to be quiet, you need to be happy, you know, just in your room doing your thing, you need to toughen up, you know. And my parents prepared all four of us to be warriors and to to be able to meet the demands of the world and be confident and capable. And so in many ways, I felt like I was kind of dropped in the deep end. I didn't feel very nurtured um by either, not even my mom. And I didn't really feel very protected. I kind of felt like pushed like, "Come on, step up, step up, step up." And I'm really grateful for that because it gave me courage and resilience and this like work ethic that's inexhaustible. Um at the same time it's you know evolved my life to be an achiever to say okay well if I'm not good enough how am I going to stand out? How am I going to be special? How am I going to be chosen? And so I became obsessed with being extraordinary and figuring out how to

5:18learn how to get good at things. And I
I told you I want I want to pause it because so much was great right there. I want to ask you, were your parents intentional about raising warrior? Like you used the word I love that because I I just had a text with my wife. It was literally yesterday, but I said that honey, we're raising warriors.
Yeah.
The world's a tough place out there and our kids need to be tough. They have to be tough. Uh I was having a conversation with my oldest uh regarding something happened with the car and I was I was hard on and I said, "Son, I need I need every day I need your personal best. I don't anything better than your best. I'll lose with your best, but anything less than your best I can't accept." So did your were your parents was that intentional lessons to raise warriors and like that or was that just their nature?
No, it was very intentional. Um you know my my mom and dad did not come from families or upbringings that they wanted to duplicate. They wanted a 180 experience for their families and their children. And so they were very intentional like you're going to get your ass kicked out there and we're

6:20going to make sure you're rough and ready and can do that. And so when you talk about having a high bar and high standards um for themselves in the way they showed up every day and how hard they worked, it was also expected from all of us. And I'm can happily say all four of us are successful, independent, happy, you know, successful kids. And it's pretty awesome. In fact, I'm I'm sitting here in this office park in Reno. Brett, my sister works for me here at Guild Mortgage. She's four doors down. She's now my number two or three loan officer. Um, she's crushing it. She's 31. And then my two brothers who are two and four years younger than me. They own several businesses and construction, a real estate brokerage, subdivisions, all all the stuff. They should be a B wealthy with us. And they're in the same we're in an office park that they built. So all four of us are like literally in the same parking lot every day, which is really sweet. Don't go you don't go four for four with kids that are wildly successful without there being right that's not luck right anybody can get one um what give me an example of maybe

7:24a lesson I think because it's helpful for our listeners to think like are they being too hard with their kids so give me a lesson or could you give me an example of maybe getting thrown into the deep end of the pool or one of the lessons they or a couple of lessons they taught you
um you know I think one of the things my mom taught me all the time was like change a channel. So really about mind over matter. So one of those is like I'm laying in bed and I'm scared and I'm having you know bad dream or something like that. My mom used to say change a channel as if it was like on the TV. And so if you don't like the channel what's playing in your mind, change it. Switch your mind. Stitch what you're thinking. And um and I'm very able to do that. Um you know and in some ways healthy and unhealthy, right? I mean there's definitely like what I've realized is that there's been many years in my life that I've definitely suppressed my emotions. I've you know abandoned myself. I have sacrificed my health, my sleep, my whatever to be that super achiever to win to be the best to be

8:27exceptional. And you know after doing that a number of times you start going okay this is ridiculous. How do I how do I balance myself a little bit instead of being so extreme? Um, but that ability to um to change a channel is really important. Um, nobody in my family does excuses. Um, my grandmother just died two weeks ago. Uh, Brett was asking about your dad too at 95. She still was laughing and giggling every visit that I visited with her. She lived independently until a month before she died. She paid her own bills. She went on a couple miles of walks every day. you know, she grew up in World War II. She she had like a lot of tragedy in her life and she never gave advice. She never um complained even when she we knew she was in pain. She was like grimacing. She would not ask for medication. Like we literally had morpham. We we had hospice and at the most we gave her like baby Tylenol. So a

9:30lot of it isn't about what's said. It's more about how we model. And that that was the modeling in my house, which is like, you know, dry your eyes, lean in, go to work, work harder. Um, you know, you've got to earn it. If you want it, you've got to earn it. And, um, so that's kind of the early up the early upbringing. And then, you know, I grew up with brothers. Um, and my my sister came later. She's my half sister 13 years later. And um my dad was older, more mature, and also probably more comfortable with having boys. And so I saw him, you know, lean in a bit more with the boys. So I also got comfortable with the boys. You know, I mean, I've been at your events, there's a lot of men in the room. I'm very comfortable in that setting. And so, um, it's all served me very well because it, you know, you you know, I can find the resilience and I can go for it. I'm now at 44 exploring how to be more feminine

10:34and soft and let go and be playful, all these parts and sides of myself that I kind of just threw to the side because I was like, "Yep, there's no time for that kind of stuff." And so, it's been a it's been a fun journey that I've been on to kind of embrace all parts of myself. But um I wasn't naturally good at most things. Um I was I was scared. I was in my head. Um but I wanted to keep up with my brothers and I and I'm competitive enough to like get it. But you know in school I never got less than an A because all of a sudden they put the the scores on the wall. Do you remember when they did that? And then all of a sudden having a 4.0 0 meant something and I was like, "Oh, well, if people brag about you and you're special and you impress people with a 4.0, then I'm getting a freaking 4.0." And so I would just do whatever it took, even if it meant writing out 300 flashcards and studying halfway through the night. And um so the interesting part of the story is that I end up going to college. I have an academic scholarship, not because I'm

11:37like naturally really smart. I just work my ass off and then I drop out. So I, you know, start getting into sales because I I just really never really felt like I fit in, right? And I think most people that are in your world and my world that are extremely successful from a young age, I just kind of was like, "All right, I'm going to tolerate the people around me, but I don't really feel like I fit in. My extraordinary drive, the way I want to go and do things in the world, like my impatience." And so when I got to college, the truth is is I'm like I could go to one cake party a week, maybe two, but like not four, you know, like I just I just didn't feel like these were my people. And so I answer an ad to get in network marketing and I started going to meetings and started selling weight loss pills and vitamins. And it was so exhilarating to me. I love the idea that I could be my own boss and I could be a 3enter who was going to write my own ticket and carve my own path. Of course, watching my parents be entrepreneurs.

12:39Um, I wanted to do that. And you ask like what was my financial upbringing? My parents, because they worked their ass off so young, did well. They built themselves a 5,000 foot custom home at like 28 years old that I ended up growing up in until I was 18.
They ended up getting divorced, unfortunately. And so mom and kids stayed in the house and and mom remarried another contractor and because of the nature of construction. There are some es and flows. There was points of times where our house was on the market and it was off the market. It was on the market. It was off the market where my dad's living in the tiniest little shack with his new girlfriend and driving an El Camino car. So, it was never a time where I felt like we're rich and we're rolling and I'm safe and I don't have to do anything. I
It sounded like you were there though, like the 5,000T home era. Didn't Did you feel the money there? So, you got to feel some pretty highs.
You felt some privilege, but then you felt

13:40
Did did that impact your story a lot? Feeling the privilege and then have it
um be less stable, I guess, is the best way to say it. Did that impact your story dramatically? So my story to be driven is two things. Number one, love and belonging and safety, which is that I need to be exceptional to be good enough to be chosen. So that's just my personal thing. From a money standpoint, why I wanted money was for stability and also to be able to shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's. Like I just love eating healthy, clean food. I have since I was 16. So um the interesting thing is when parents get divorced, uh it opens up a whole new world, too. And I, you know, I've done a lot of processing on my parents' divorce. My dad ended up falling in love with the most amazing woman who was very different. Talk about soft and feminine and lovely. Um, she was a waitress and she had two daughters. So, all of a sudden, I now have girls in my life. And I see my dad swooning over her. And she called him Superman and he called her

14:45goddess. And they were like making out around every corner. and and it was like so cool for me to see him be madly in love and go, "Oh, like that's that's cool. That's what I want." My mom got remarried um to a guy who fawned over me, who just had never had a daughter, so he just thought I walked on water and he really adored me, which was really cool for me. And he loved to travel. My dad was like a Nevada guy, hunter, like stay local. Mario took us to Mexico and to Hawaii. I didn't see the ocean until I was like 12. And so I got this broader experience about the life I wanted to live through these things. Um so but yes, the the instability of divorce and then the instability of like are we okay? Like the house can can we keep this house or not keep this house is what made me want to get be successful. And so when I met Gayen and he's a dreamer. I mean, Gayen's like, "Look, if there's 70 foot yachts in this world and

15:48we're in this body right now, well, why the hell wouldn't we want to do that?" Like, if there's a private jet to be had, like, of course, why wouldn't we want it? You know, and I've just not thought like that cuz I'm like, well, you got to earn it and what's realistic and you know, I'm going to plot along and hit goals. So, when we kicked off our life together, we knew we wanted a big adventurous awesome life. We wanted a lakefront on Lake Tahoe where, you know, that was our dream. We're big boating people. Um, but I was like, "Okay, I know I'm good at sales and I know I can grind my face off and I'm in the mortgage business." And we got married at, you know, 28. I was making like 300 grand a year, which for a college dropout and a blonde chick in Reno, Nevada, I like I thought that was just like amazing. Um,
but at 28, that's a ton of money. That's a ton of money.
Ton of money. And um so I did some worksheets, you know, like similar we do in be wealthy. And it was like, you know, the the Monte

16:50Carlo simulator and it was like, okay, if I can get 4 million in the bank, then I will be able to like run off to the jungle if I want to. I could take my cell phone, throw in a pond.
This is what you told yourself at 28
cuz I wanted freedom. I you know when you talk about your definition of wealth is the freedom of purpose and location and to do what you want when you want how you want like I I've wanted I've I felt a little bit trapped by this drive and this need for security and I've always been a little worried about myself being a workaholic and not having any fun and life being totally a blur. And so I really was like, I just want to hit the number so that I have options so that if I want to just go to the jungle, I could. And four million was the number. And um so that's kind of like where where I started, you know, in sales and getting up to a place of success. But it wasn't until I started getting a coach and going to conferences, which happened right at 29,

17:53like right after we got married, that all of a sudden I really took off. that I really learned how to put all these pieces together and not just be a hard charging superdriven high personality salesperson um but become a business person um and then later become a multi-dimensional you know person and that that's kind of the intentionality we were talking about.
But how cool is it that at 29 so we're the same age we're both 44. So at 29 you kind of all of the skills in life I mean you're successful you're doing the work you're coaching you're starting now I'm going to go to conference and the economy is giving you this gift it may not feel like a gift at the time but it's about to give you a massive gift right because world's going to get weird hard not unlike the world we're going into today I think like uh you know it in 2009 would have been or what let's call 2006 I feel like was two years ago, right? Is

18:57
Yeah.
Right. The euphora things don't make sense. How long does it last? And then um and so then I didn't like like you, I did not know. I I was crazy successful in real estate in those years running up to the downturn. And then it was like, "Ooh, this is new." But immediately I was able to pivot and go, oh, there's a massive opportunity that no one wants. I'm going to go after it. So, so now you got the downturn coming.
You're getting into the events. Now, what happens from here?
So, um it's really cool that we're the same age and we're doing the same thing at the same time. Um yeah, I remember being on a vacation and being like, you know how you never had laptops or like your phones hooked up. So, we would go to the business center and like Gail and I were checking on the price of stocks and we're just watching the world fall apart, right? I mean, Obama's getting elected in '08. every other day Lehman Brothers is failing, something else is failing. It was just a weirdest time and I think Bank of America stock had dropped by like 17 bucks or 12 bucks. I mean, it was just nuts. And Gayen had a

20:00little brokerage account. He's always loved the public markets. And so, you know, he's like picking stuff. I mean, he bought Nvidia so long ago. I I just don't know how he has this like Renaissance man like intuition, but he does. And um I am out going door todo to get refies. Okay. Cuz when they did the first quantitative easing in 2009 and rates went essentially from 6.75 down to like 5 and a half, I was like, "Oh my gosh, I don't know how this long this is going to last, but I got to go help as many people as I can." And I pulled title lists and I went to new home subdivisions because I knew they were all first-time home buyers with all FHA loans. And I I did merges of their loan amounts and like reran and I just literally knocked on doors and like talked to people about FHA streamline refies. I got on the news. I was doing all these weird things. Um
but see you're out. I just I I just I got to anchor this in because I think people they look at you today and they go, "Yeah, but see sits behind this beautiful desk has got this amazing

21:02massive light, but they don't they miss the part of I was door knocking in 2009, which is by the door knockocking the most effective lead generation channel on Earth. Now today, I don't know is it a little different today because I think it's still the most effective from a safety standpoint. Like there's no way I would feel comfortable. I wouldn't want you doing that today, right? I mean, but uh I don't want to go crazy on that comment, but I just I'd be I'd be concerned even like when we do a hard blunt like what our staff if we have female staff going out to a problem, I'm like, "Nope, you're going someone's going with you. Uh I just don't I I want you to be safe." Uh I was door- knockocking too for shorts. So, I know exactly what it's like firsthand. I was one of the people that were in foreclosure, losing everything and say, "Look, I can help you. I at least can get you a way out of here. Um there are options. There is a way for you to get money." But people don't real, they miss that part that when all of your peers were probably leaving the industry, right? Just going, it's over. I'm done. And you go, I'm going to do some weird thing. I'm going get on the news, but I'm going to door knock. Like that's just that's what winning like. Winning is a mindset. The

22:04two things I tell my kids every day, winning, it's it's a mindset. And I you have to anchor that into your soul that winning is a mindset. And the second thing I tell my kids every day is your life will be the sum of your choices. nothing more, nothing less. And so, and they go, "What does that mean, Dad?" Well, it means whatever it means to you, are you do at the end of your day when you replay your day, do you believe those choices will lead you to the life that you want? Because your life will be the sum of your choices. So, I love this 2009. So, how long are you out there knocking doors for?
Um, and by the way, I by the way, I brought my brother. My brother, um, I which you may have met Clint, I'm not sure, but uh, Clint has a real estate brokerage here. He played football in college at Fresno State, got a straight straight A's the whole time and got his NBA in five years, who's very impressive, super driven kid as well. And he um and then he goes off and plays in the NFL a little bit, but in that meantime, he graduated in like the worst financial market to graduate in, right? And I was like, "Clint, get over here.

23:06We're going to run refies." We literally set up a desk that was like a Tupperware popup. It was probably like what you'd use for TV dinners. and we set them up and I'm like, "Clint, you're gonna run these numbers." When I would go on the news, I did like a 60 minute or 60-second financial talk and then we would answer the phone at the news station and Clint would have a phone and I would have a phone and uh and then he went out with me. Um and then and then I ended up convincing him to get his real estate license and he he and I both went and got a real estate license together. I never did anything with it. I never hung in it. But then he launched into real estate because I saw these short sales happening and um and then he went on to build a real estate brokerage and on and on and on. Um so long story short, I didn't really have a plan. I wasn't running a business. I was just running out of like you know thinking entrepreneurial and where is the opportunity? And so in um 2010 uh so in 2009 I did like 200 transactions that

24:08year but I didn't know where they came from. I you know any of those things. So when I uh started getting coached in 2010 a coach said to me Shayla are you relational or transactional? And I was like for sure relational. I mean I will run through traffic for my clients. I will work till midnight. I will answer the call in the middle of any dinner. like that's the kind of professional I was at the time. And uh they said, "Okay, well then go back through all of your transactions, your closings in the last 12 months. Look at where they came from. How are they referred to you? Or where did you land this this business? And then tell me how many referral partners you have or business sources that refer you over and over and over again where you have a business partnership, a win-win relationship with with somebody. And out of 200 transactions plus, I was like, oh, I don't know, probably 15 different people refer me over and over and over again. Brett,
this was your first coaching. Was this

25:09your first coaching experience? Okay,
this is my first coaching experience and the market was already shifting in 2010, right? Cuz we kind of we kind of had this big refi run with a lot of we were doing HARP loans because you could refinance when you're upside down and we did a lot of streamlines because the quantitative easing. So in 2010, I knew first of all, I had just gotten married. the company I worked for uh like shut down the branch and so I was like forced to go find a new company and and I was so disillusioned at that point by our industry. There was something called the implode meter where every other day a different mortgage company was imploding and I worked around a lot of douchebags like people I would never want to associate with outside of the office and and so like when this happened and all of a sudden I was pushed on the sidewalk. I was the number one loan officer at Flagstar Bank in in literally 45 days after we got married. They're like, "Sorry, we're going to close your branch. I had 31 escros going. I had no assistant, no processor." So, it was

26:15just I was in crazy town. I was in survival. I was in, "Oh my gosh, the world is falling apart. I better grab at what I can grab at." So, when that happened to me, it took I I took a couple steps back. I was like, "All right, my parents got divorced. I got a workaholic tendency. I married the rattest guy on the planet. I got to get my stuff together because if I'm going to stay in this industry, I want to be around people I trust, I respect. Like, I want to build something that's sustainable because the way I'm working right now is not sustainable. Um, but I didn't know what I didn't know. I I literally had no good mentors, no nobody modeling for me. There was no like loan officer teams around me that I could look at. And so, I went on a hunt myself to go find it. And I interviewed nine mortgage companies to figure out where to go to work. And I mean, I did so much due diligence. And I know they're like, "Who is this 28-year-old chick like from Reno?" Like, what? I mean, crazy. When when I met with Guild Mortgage and I flew down there for a day, they're like, "Who do you want to meet?" I said,

27:16"Everyone." And I met the head of accounting, the head of payroll, the head of finance. like I really wanted to be intentional about finding the right people and place for me to grow a true business and a career cuz I was in love with this but I was like afraid of my obsession. So I find
iteration misses though Shayla what you just said which is they don't realize in in in 2010 your options to get better there wasn't you couldn't go to YouTube and find 7,000 videos on running a large mortgage team. There wasn't you either read books, you had a coach, which was not video, I mean it was it was phone
phone
or you went to events, right? That was the three ways you got better
at anything you really wanted to do. It involved you getting on a plane going somewhere. Is that is that a fair I did the same like as you're going through this I'm nodding because I'm going
I remember flying into Keller I I got to meet I got to meet this I got to see what we're doing here. What what's this company about? And it's so different

28:19like today where you could just do a Zoom or you could go to a I mean and for education purp there's there's a million podcasts that are incredible.
Um so just I just want to set everyone's frame of reference and like they might think like why is she just doing that? Why didn't she just jump? Well yeah cuz that there wasn't an option back then. This this was the only way.
Yeah. And and it's fun. I'm so happy you're doing a podcast and and I'm like as I'm listening to you going I want to just listen to every single thing that you put out there, Brett, because your philosophies around money are important and leadership are important, but even more so to me, your philosophies around your your marriage and the way you raise your kids is like next level to me. And so anyway, I'm so happy you're doing this because it is the it is the generous thing to do. And I think you and I feel both the same way, which is like we had some really good timing. The market really helped us out in addition to being balls to the wall, obsessed with learning and growing and improving and having a winning mindset. Um, and you know, I never wanted to get to the

29:23top of my financial mountain and just say peace because I hit that $4 million number at 34 and was like, "Oh, now what?" You know,
we do got to set the stage though. So leaning into that, right? I want to ask you, did you believe Okay. What year is this? You said 34. So we're now in 2014.
Yep.
So 2014 you get there and I want to know what was your perception before you got there of when you hit the number? Like what did you think would occur? And then the second question is when you got there, what actually occurred?
Um, so it was 2015 and um I just had my second baby. Gwen was one, Gemma was four. Um, you know, I'm not somebody who sits around and like imagines the future a lot or lives in my imagination. Um, I want to be I I want to be more creative and in my imagination, but I really just don't like I'm a very hyperfocused what needs to get done, run really freaking fast, and everything else is a blur except what I'm really focusing on. And

30:26I think there's a time and a place to be that obsessed and singularly focused because you know what I got done in five years like five years I got it done in five years and some people will take you know a whole career to to still not get to the place
a lifetime and not accomplish it.
Yeah. Yeah. So um
so what happened? So did you so you didn't have a perspective you just said hey I want to hit this goal and I hit it. Yeah. And when you
I just was like there was just a number that's the that's a destination. Um but yeah nothing changed.
Um
well my my stories told that like I so I had a number right had to hit a I would hit this number and I believed that when I hit the number unlike you I believe that lights and bells and sirens would go off and like the problems of the world would get easier and everything would be radically different somehow. Right? This is my you know early 20year-old brain. And I hit the number and I remember looking at my it was my girlfriend at the time thinking honey nothing changed like I'm the same as I was yesterday and like in that moment

31:29for me I realized oh it's not there's destinations we're going to pick because we have to have goals and targets but it's really about the journey.
Yeah.
Right. Like that was where I reframed. I'm like oh this magic number that I set a line in the sand I'm going to set a new one and I'm going to hit that. I'm going to set a new one. I'm going to hit that. And they're meaningful, but nothing in your life changed when you radically got to Fortnite. It was different than at three or two, right? It once you've got enough rice and beans um and you're secure, extra dollars, they help. They enhance your life. No, no doubt. Like your life today is incredible.
Yeah.
But there's this really interesting there's a book called The 7-day Weekend by Ricardo Semler. It's one of my favorite uh books and better than the book is the interview he did with Tim Ferrris and we'll put links in the show notes to those. Um but Ricardo Similar talked about once you hit $12 million in net worth your happiness does not increase any at all. And I was like wait a minute is that real? And I went back in my life. I went, it's because he goes in and he goes up to that moment when you get, you know, you're a really small

32:31house, really smart apartment, you get a bigger one. Once you get the house you love, maybe you get a second home that you want, you're now traveling in, if you got a $12 million net worth, you're traveling in first class when you want. He goes, from there, the things that you acquire just get bigger. The house gets bigger. or the boat might get picked. But he goes, "It it it it you don't get the same feeling as the first like your first boat that you got and it was great. That was awesome. Now you get the brand new, you're like, it's cool. I love it and I love all the bells and but it's not as I didn't get more happiness out of the happiness was created on the first one." And so I think it's so important for the listeners to think about yes, your life will get better, but then you got to turn internal and go what do I really want? like what's driving me and where do I get my validation for the world and where do I get my validation for my part and how do I think about those things and the more you could focus internally determining your own value rather than externally right the more the more peace you're going to have in your life so I was curious I want to pause you for a minute there and ask like did anything radically change it for because I I I

33:33had kind of knew the answer was going to be no so now you keep charging forward
yeah I will I will say what happened what did change for me is that I became evidence and proof that this framework works and I became even more convicted to go out and help other people do what I did because yes, I know I'm driven. Yes, I know I can work hard. Yes, I was given some god-given talents and you know, whatever. I'm a chick. I'm blonde. I had this this time in the market. I have freckles. I don't know. Like, we all have our our thing. But like I really I really kept saying okay I was in sales for 10 years and this was my result. And then I started applying coaching which meant I was very diligent about my time where I was focusing my time, energy and efforts. Um you know I got masterful on a few skills. I learned how to be a leader and hire people when and where and what they did. Um I had a process around my money. So I fill out a budget

34:36every month. I had rules around where the money went, you know, I it nothing was like MBA level stuff, but I started putting pieces together. And the next five years, I went from whatever 300 grand net worth to 4 million net worth. So I 10xed in 5 years. And so what I wanted to do more than ever was like shout off the rooftops like you guys, you can do this. And um you know I've always believed in Zig Ziggler's line that if you help enough people get what they want you will get everything that you want. And so I bu based my whole working life on that which is if I help that real estate agent earn a commission then I earn a commission. You know if I help that family get out of the pickle they're in and get what they want then I get what I want. And so pretty quickly as I started getting coached, I started figuring out like, whoa, I went from 20 million to 40 million to 80 million tound something million in my personal production. And again, I'm the same chick. I just applied some different

35:39focuses and tactics. I want to help other loan officers do the same thing. And so anyway, what got me to my next, you know, 10x over time was now just basically helping people do that. Saying, okay, what is the road map? what are your strengths? How can we intentionally focus you? How do you become a leader? And and and then that's what I've done. So I've now been in the business for 21 years. Um I have about 80 loan officers that span all over the country. Um I run about 12 branches directly where I am, you know, the branch manager. I I now have a solid leadership team. We follow the EOS model. I'm really stepping into being more of the visionary. But I found sustainability, Brett. And that wasn't always the case, you know, like once I hit four, I was like, oo, okay, well, maybe I got to move it move the target to six cuz now I see that life is a bit more expensive and I don't totally feel stable yet and oh by the way, um I'm 34 and um you know, we got a lot of life to live. And then once it was six, it was like, okay, maybe 10 feels better. And

36:42then you're right, after that that's not what it it's ever been about. It's been it's been like, okay, we're safe, we're secure, we're stable. Um, how do I make this, you know, sustainable? How do I help other people climb to the top of their mountain? And then how do I just keep getting better at all the things? You know, I'm I'm obsessed with mastery just like you are. That winning is a mindset, and it's it's fun to keep improving every day. So, I want to I want to go to that journey that you just went on because I think that there's so much value we can extract from it. And I think there's three distinct stages in in people's lives. The first one is you're proving to yourself that you can do it.
Yep.
Right. Shayla, that that young girl in her twice proving just,
you know, the two biggest fears people have in life, right? Number one, I'm not enough and I won't be loved. Two biggest fears.
Yep.
Uh and we all have to work through that, right? When you think you're not enough, well, who's telling you that? Is that as an external or internal? Um, like I told my kids, I'm always like,

37:45the external temperature does not dictate your internal temperature, right? If someone out there tells you the greatest person of your time, you're probably not that good. And if someone out there tells you you're terrible, you're probably not that bad. So, why are you deriving any value from someone else's opinion that you can't change?
Yep.
Do you believe you're a good person? Do you believe you're doing the right thing? So, the first thing is you're proving it to yourself. Second part of the journey is you're proving to other people, right? I spent a lot of time in my late 20s proving to people how great I was. Uh you know, I I had some success. I had a little bit of an ego uh at that moment. And then once I got the awards and the things that I wanted to do in my in our industry, um the third part of the journey, so I started with you prove it to yourself, you prove it to everybody else. The third part of the journey is you prove to others that they could go do it for themselves, right? and you got to that where you become um really a teacher and a coach. So I'm curious in your world today when you look back at those segments and by the way the skills are different in each of those buckets. So to me, right, the skills when you're when you're proving

38:48it to yourself, I believe that when I, you know, when I coach someone that's young or that someone's not earning the money yet they want, I'm like, everything you read, everything you listen to, and everything you're doing should be to scale your income, right? If you're making 100 grand a year, set a target 200 and stop at nothing. Get in the room, get the coach, get the thing. He gets 200. Gets 200, then go to four and then go and and drive that. At some point you'll be doing all that you've optimized you. Then we got to go to okay I'm going to need a team and then those skills are radically different. Right? The skills that scaled your income right if and largely it's going to be sales. Doesn't mean you're a sales person but I don't care if you're a chiropractor you're in sales. You've got to sell the next thing right. Um so then the next round of skills are management. How do I hire people? How do I empower people? How do I get people to be driven like I am? How do I give them uh how do I help them accomplish all their goals where they're while they're with the organization that they leave there better because they were part of of my

39:49company and figuring out right both the you know the direct management techniques and like the and the soft skills and building both right it's one thing to say this is the goal and you got a hammer but it's another let me tell you what the goal means to you and why I care because it helps you accomplish your goals when we hit this collective goal.
Yep. And then the last journey right is in scaling and vision and all of the things that we're building a large company you know that's process like you said EOS systematizing everything down and and entrepreneurs I don't think they think about it that am I building the right skills for the season that I'm in.
Yeah. and and or people get overwhelmed thinking they need to have level five skill on something when when it's like no, you're on level one, master level one. Be obsessed with this level one. Put the blinders on. Like you said, everything you're reading and listening to is optimizing you and your mindset. And they're they're worried about something else, right? It's
Yeah, it's everything. I'm gonna go in a

40:51thousand different directions. um where like to your point they've got to get laser focused on what actually matters.
Yeah, it's it's true. I
So your world today, I'm curious, what percentage of your time is spent what I'm going to call teaching, coaching, or training. I'm going to call all of that coaching.
Okay.
Um as opposed to I'll call it in the business or working in the business or working on the business versus coaching. What what's the what do you think those buckets of time are? What percentages roughly?
Well, I I have to tell you some exciting things. So, um this this past year is I've been really like going, okay, I feel I feel ready for the next level of my life. And an important part of the story is that I did hit burnout to a degree. I did run myself into the ground where I was getting cold sores every 3 weeks. I was having a sore throat. I was sick all the time. And I just
What year is this? The Um this is 201819.

41:56
Okay.
So 3738. Um and um I did a personal offsite. A coach recommended that I do that and like really do a deep dive into myself and what brings me joy and what do I really want for my life and like you know just slow it down for a minute to actually look at it. And it was there that I determined I really had this dream of living abroad. And so I came back from those two days and was like, "Babe, I want to move to Spain. Like I I want to go live abroad." And um so we did. So we ended up moving in January of 2020 before co to Spain. And we ended up staying um three calendar years in Spain and I, you know, ran the business remote and on Zoom and all those things. So that was a huge shift for me getting out of rain maker sales production mode into leader mode. but also really into mom mode and into like learning how to just be and not do so much. You know, Europe is really good about being instead of do

42:58do all the time. And I really wanted that shift in myself because I've always said it'd be really sad if I, you know, died at 35 or 45 or 55 and basically everyone said, you know, she was just such a good businesswoman. She's such a hard worker. And like that was full stop like Shayla in a nutshell. Like I've wanted to have a life that was much more dynamic than that. I wanted to find the full range of my potential and personality and and like really taste life all the way from from friendships to laughter to creativity like the whole bit. Um but I'm also practical and I know that there's a point to be obsessed and to focus. But knowing when to shift is important. And then finding the tools and the courage to actually freaking shift is what I really like, you know, I really empower myself with because I think it's more natural to just do what you always done versus saying it's time for me to reinvent myself again and again and again. So I went through a reinvention in Spain that was really

44:01good for our family. It really slowed things down. Um, I got to have total work life balance, Brett, because of the time zone because I was 9 hours ahead every morning when I woke up in the morning. Everyone was sleeping back in the United States. So, I couldn't if even if I wanted to get on phone calls or Zooms or or start emailing or texting people. So, I woke up to like I have eight hours ahead of me today where no one is going to bother me and work does not get to come into this. And so, it was an epic time. Plus, it was COVID and we were closing, you know, five, six th,000 loans a year was insane. So, when we come back from Spain, I really didn't want to go backwards. I didn't want to fall into being triggered by my environment to be obsessively competitive and only work focused. And I wanted to find a way to integrate all parts of what I learned in Spain of the way I want to show up as a mother and and and just, you know, being able to enjoy myself but still be here walking

45:05into my office in my hometown with all the environmental things around me. And so it's been a really cool challenge. And so I've really worked on that next level of reinvention, which is, you know, understanding who I am and why I do the things that I do. so that I can live consciously. I can be super intentional about my choices and I can shift into the Shayla that I want to be in my 40s because I happen to believe that you can get, you know, wealthier and sexier and have more fun year after year. I I refuse to think that, you know, I'm going to get older and worse, you know, like I'm just getting older and better. And so, um, it's been really fun. and I spent a year doing 75 hard and like really, you know, taking time for me and my body. I've uh found a way to grow our business back up from 450 million a year at the lows back up to a billion. This year we'll do a billion and a half. Um, and then just most recently,
I just decided I said, "Well, what would

46:08impress me if I've spent a life being an achiever, running around trying to impress people so that I will be good enough and I will be loved and safe? What would impress me? Where's that internal versus external validation going to come from?" And I said, you know, the only freedom I've never given myself is time freedom. I have been busy forever. My calendar is packed. Even on a day I'm relaxing, I'm doing it to a to-do list. Like, you know, take 30 minutes to sit outside. So, um I this summer was like, what would impress me is if I took Monday and Friday off all summer and maybe forever. And I've always admired women who work three days a week because I thought, gosh, that just seems perfect. you you get your fill, you get you get the fulfillment, you get the energy of work, and then you also have four days to take care of your family and to have friendships and to do your stuff. And so I did it and um I'm sticking with it. So,

47:09
and what happened in So, two things I want to learn. When you went to Spain, what happened to the business for the three years you were there? Did
co happened? So, it blew up. We we went from a billion we had done a billion in 18 and 19 in production. I had about 30 30 loan officers. So we had a really high productive high functioning team and then we went up to like a billion six and a billion nine. Um and in 20
while you're insane clearing out and getting through the burnout and and really just figuring out what do I you know what's the next chapter look like your business does this.
Yes. Yes.
Now co drove it but I would argue I'd you know we we can't run simulations like what would happen if co never happened what would happen to Shayla's life. I would make the argument that the same thing would have occurred. Maybe not at the same level because co just when rates
Yeah.
plummeted, but I would argue that you getting free what my because it's get free is my thing. Um is what allowed the business to go cuz now you're you're sitting and you're thinking about the business. Okay, I'm not there. I can't walk down the hall and fix it. So, it's

48:12got to come from processes and ideas and thoughts that only happen when you disconnect from the day-to-day.
Yeah.
So, I think that's I I was curious where I would go. I I was like, I bet the business went like this. So,
well, we we we had spent eight years um building momentum and brand and reputation and trust and relationships, you know. So, that that momentum carries you and and habits, the high performance habits. I mean, my team because they, you know, I when I started Gild Brett, it was me. It was just me in a backpack. I never had an assistant. I never had a team. I never had a processor. And so in the eight years that I joined Guild, I told you the the five-year thing, but from from uh 2010 to 2018, we went from me to a billion dollars in production and I had about I don't know 100 employees. And so um they all did it the way I did it. So if this is the way I track my sales activity, they track their sales activity. If this is the way we built and hired a team, they built and hired a team that way. If this is

49:14the way we run a pipeline meeting, they ran a pipeline meeting that way. Um, and this is how we process alone, start to finish, and these are the metrics we manage. So, I had a um a team that I built from scratch. I handpicked every single one of them. I coached them all because I really believed like if I could do it, they could do it and they believed me and I just kind of grew everybody to that point. So, yeah, we we would have definitely had the momentum and and kept rolling with it. The other thing is I'm less of a thinker. I'm more of an intuitive person. So like getting space always if I if I'm out on a paddle board or I'm walking through the forest or I like I've now learned the rejuvenation and taking space is where all of a sudden this I light up. Like I just know in my body and my gut where we need to go next. And I didn't realize that that was a superpower until I actually started taking some space for myself. Um and then it's like oh just like you're at the cabin right now. I mean going to tow on the weekends I get this this rejuvenation this clarity and

50:18then boom we go execute again.
So walk me so now right you've got this what are your strategic things I want to go to all of now I want to move to the mechanics that these tools and habits and cuz I know you're obsessed like we talked about early on about human performance like I am. So when you think about space how do you how do you go to your calendar? How do you build space in there strategically? What do you do? and then I'll share my model
and the answer the question I didn't answer was how I'm spending my time today. So I'm working three days a week. I work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Um now I've been doing launches like I have a coaching program called Catalyst and we've been launching every quarter. I just did my last big event called Slay with Shay in Lake Tahoe. We had 130 loan officers in the room. It was
could not be a better name than Slay with Shay by the way. It's unbelievable.
Except anyone come up with that? Did Gayen come up with that?
No. my marketing girl came up with it. And
the the fun thing is is I I'm now like, you know, I think I'm going to shift any future events will be play with Shay because that's my new era of of

51:22reinvention is being more playful. And um so so to to just be real, you know, Mondays and Fridays I've not been in the office. Over the summer I did pretty damn good of being on the boat and like truly being off off. Um, but there's definitely some homework and overtime hours that I put in to do what I'm doing. But now the rhythm that I'm in Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, is I still have my production team. So, and that's 100% a leadership coaching capacity. Um, I have my district and my branches, which is about 40 loan officers, and that's in a in a visionary branch manager capacity. So, I'm looking at financials. I'm meeting with all my leaders. We're looking at pipeline performance. I'm doing recognition. We're doing branch meetings and sales calls. Um and then um and then I coach in the industry and a guild. So I run the branch manager coaching um for guild. We have about 250 branch managers and we do a call once a month and we work on leadership and running a business. And then I have catalyst that I do every week and I've got about I

52:24don't know 175 members in there and I teach them the high performance frameworks and structures that we can go over now. So I spend probably 60% of my time coaching and 40% of my time leading.
Oh, I I I was curious on that answer and I would tell you my world probably similar, right? I you know there's a one of these books came out there. What's your one word, right, that describes you and I really thought for a long time and I was like mine's a today mine's a teacher. You know, my answer would have been radically different 15 years ago, but today I spend my time and teaching coaching. I'm using those kind of but I spend my time teaching, right? I'm helping others unlock their potential. And I think it's so cool that that's that's what you do and you do it so well. So, give us some of the habits. What do you give us some of these frameworks that that the listeners can use?
Okay. Um, first of all, I live my life now in quarters. I've developed a planner that I coach off of in catalyst because for so many years I didn't do organization and preparation. I told you

53:28I'm an intuitive high personality driven person and I'm very comfortable in chaos. So um you know the the only reason I put systems in place is because I'm competitive and I I want to win. Like winning is my number one outcome. And so I will do things that are uncomfortable all day of the week to win. So whereas I think you are my perception of you Brett is that yes you are a mega talent with this incredible uh brain and ability to communicate and teach and coach but you are really dialed in with each of your businesses and each of them are you know has a meeting and has a cadence and has a rhythm and has projections and I haven't been like that. Right. I I've been, you know, Gayen calls me Sha Nato, just like huge energy tornado. Um, and so, you know, but when I came back from Spain, I was like, okay, I want to shift into true stability. Like true stability. I I think, you

54:31know, being uh married to me and being my children is is hard when mom is like on a plane and all over the country in a tornado. like, how do I find that stability in myself so I can continue to work out every day and every week without burning out? So I can continue to feel prime and my energy and feel good because now that's that's the goal. I want to feel good in what I do. And how can I continue to lead and run a business where I'm not, you know, spinning five different plates and three of them are pretty sucky at a moment and the other, you know, where it's just it's just not sustainable. So, um, I got me and Gayen both on a planner when we got back and it's changed our lives. Um, every Sunday we sit down and we do what's called a weekly download and preparation. So, the first thing I do, and this is all in my planner, um, I go through and say, "What worked last week?" And I go through every single moment of my day. I think about conversations with my kids. I look at every meeting. I look at showing up to their games, you know, the whole bit. and I fill up the entire box with wins

55:34because I really believe in order we've got to have an inner coach and we've got to empower ourselves and we have to see evidence of where we are winning. Um, then there's a box next to it that say what didn't work and why. And this might be I was really tired. I woke up in the middle of the night. Um, I yelled at my kids, you know, whatever. We showed up sloppy to a meeting. Whatever the case is. And then I always revisit the three goals that I set for the week before, like what were the top three things from last week and did I do it? And I rate on a scale of zero to 100%. because yes or no isn't good enough because I made significant progress, but I wouldn't call it 100% complete. And again, that's probably me finding a way to find a win always because I do not like failure. And I just I just think the game isn't over until I've won. So there's really no such thing as failure. But um and then I reset the the next top three goals for the week. And then I lay out my whole calendar on one page. This

56:36comes from Todd Booksspan who introduced us and his win by noon planner which is he's he's the one that creates this for me and I literally look at every single thing and you can see where overlaps are and where you know Galen's supposed to be somewhere I'm supposed to be somewhere the kids are supposed to be somewhere else where do we need to get support where do we
you're doing this on paper the calendar is on paper in the in there
in the planner yeah it's all digital but I'm actually writing it down and analyzing it and I'm sitting down on a Sunday to think about how do I win the week ahead? How do I really be on fire? So that's kind of the week toeek stuff. But before that, what I do with my members, and I just did it yesterday because it's the beginning of Q4, is I first put them through an exercise to say, "What does it mean for you to be on fire in the four domains of your life?" And you know, because if you ask people like, "Hey, what's your vision, Brett?" Now, you would go boom boom boom boom. This is where I'm going. this is what 10 years and 20 years looks like. But for me, for a long time, that was an

57:38overwhelming word. It was like, I don't know, just survive and get through the day and keep growing. I just didn't have an answer for that. So, to me, I like to visualize, okay, who is Shayla at her best on fire? What does that look like over the next six months in fi in your fitness? Pain, energy, stamina, mobility, flexibility, you know, vibrancy. I your impact the impact you're making in the world the money you're earning and saving the community the contribution the leadership R is relationships and how do how am I on fire in a relationship how am I showing up how am I experiencing what kind of relationships are around me um and then the final one is enlightenment how is my emotional well-being how is my energy how's my connection to God my spirituality so I write this out every quarter at the beginning of a planner and It's literally like a paragraph or two of like what does this mean? Because to me, how the hell can you set annual

58:40goals, quarterly goals, and even a top three for the week if I'm not clear about like my version of success and and how my version of success at 44 is going to be different than it was at 34 with super young kids or versus, you know, 24. Um, and I can't wait to be 54. Like I can't freaking wait because it's like oh my gosh, can you imagine? Like I just feel so stoked on life and the season I'm in and I'm going to be so stoked on the next one because it's just it's this whole opportunity to experience and taste life in these different ways. And so anyway, so we start with that and then I have eight annual goals only eight. Um and
yeah, per year. And so I take two in each category. And I keep these the same all year because if I've really done the work right, um these are kind of like pillars and stones for me that keep me at my best that keep me on fire. These become my standards and my habits,

59:42right? So like one goal is $1.5 billion and 15 of my loan officers going to President's Club. One is sleeping eight hours a night with 10,000 steps and 130 grams of protein. Uh, one's a power morning five days a week, which I have that defined. I wake up at 5:42 a.m. I do psyllium. I do water. I meditate. I work out. Um, one was grow the rain maker podcast. I launched that this year and it was defined by 50 episodes. So, long story short, I get eight goals down and then with my members, I make them choose only two for the quarter.
So, you're taking the eight, breaking it down two per quarter.
Yeah. You can either take two of your annual goals or it could be a goal within the goal. It's it's more like a theme or a discipline for the quarter. Like what is it that you're working on? Last quarter, my quarterly goal was to help my tribe get through my 1010 challenge. I created a 1010 challenge because I really like helping people get to that place of prove yourself and

1:00:44become a rain maker. Be self-made. you you become uh the the rain maker in your life and in your business. And I created a 101010 challenge. And so for the whole Q3, that's all I talked about. That's all I thought about. That's all I led through was this one challenge because the former Shayla gets excited about something for two and a half weeks. And it's like ding onto the next thing and onto the next thing and onto the next. So just the forcing myself to say there's only two things that you're focusing on and every single week we're going to go back and say did you make progress? What is the next step? What is the next step? And like really go deep on that. Um so this yesterday I just led my my crew through one important goal and one hard goal and then you know and then we elaborate what is the key motivation? Why this goal? Why now? What would be the best outcome? Why is it important to you? Because I think a lot of people pick goals because they sound cool or they think they should do them, but the reason they fade is because they

1:01:46haven't really come down to the point of like why does this really really really really matter. And the problem, the reason we don't see success is because there's a lack of consistency and people are in conflict. They say they want this, but yet they're doing that. And then you lose trust with yourself and you lose trust with your team and certainly you lose trust at home with your family. And if you cannot get alignment there and say this is the main thing, the main thing, the main thing, the main thing and you trust yourself to just stick to the main thing and get your family's buy in, it's really hard to get anywhere significant. And so I really try to help people get that clarity and then get in alignment with this is the thing and then have a process every day to sit down with your planner and go, okay, I'm going to do a hot 15. I'm going to spend 15 minutes. I'm going to look at my whole calendar for the day. I'm going to look at every meeting I've got set up. What are the what am I coming in with? What is the value I'm bringing? What do I need to get out of it? What do I need to delegate? So, we're not just running

1:02:48around unconsciously and reactive, but we're coming into each opportunity on purpose and by design. We have a call list of who we're calling. We have a meeting list of what meetings need to be booked. We have a top three for the day. And it's just all of a sudden you start living your life on fire because you go, "Hey, I got my morning done because that matters to me that I have my health in check. I I was with my kids yesterday at the gastrointenologist and the day before at the allergist and I was at volleyball practice. Whereas before I I never had a planner. I was just running by the seat of my pants all the time. And so this intentionality has really helped me find sustainability. And I think it's helped people focus on less because stress and overwhelm is what prevents people um from getting there. And so if they can really go, these are the top three things. I'm going to knock it out. I'm going to win by noon. Um and then quarter by quarter you become less of a mess. you become more intentional, more clear, more dialed in. And once you build that selfrust and you go, I trust myself. I trust that

1:03:52I can set a vision. I can I can recalibrate. I can fall off. I can have a bad day. I could show up grumpy. I could yell at my kids, but I can just reccalibrate, forgive myself. That's when you start seeing somebody that's got enduring confidence and that is living their life by their design instead of just surviving it.
Shayla, you just gave the greatest master class in clarity in the last those like 10 15 minutes. Uh and what is so cool is you know everybody online's a coach these days, right? And um one of my uh talk tracks recently is like how do you be more real in a fake world, right? Because you go online and you see social media and I I see these are acquaintances or friends of mine that I know personally they have a terrible marriage, right? Like I mean they told me this
and yet four weeks later they're launching a class on how to have a better marriage and I'm going
guys there no judgment if you fix in last four weeks, but I don't know that it's ready for the world yet. Um, and

1:04:56it's just you can tell when you're dealing with just an absolute expert that lives it like when you were doing that. Uh, and I love the clarity. So, what where I believe that everyone needs to start is figuring out exactly what you want out of your life.
Yeah.
Like that's the most important thing. And the way you do that is get strategic at different points in the future. So, if you're 24 listening to this, figure out what you want your life to look like at 34, 44, and 54. And but I mean like not like a little bit like oh I kind I mean granularly like I when I did my vision board all these uh people online they they everybody's poo pooing vision boards. Vision board changed my life. I figured out exactly what I wanted. I put it on a board behind my desk and I stared at it every day and then I established goals and marched toward that. And then once I and it was about 5 years and I accomplished all of it. I thought it would take my whole life and then I put that one away and I made a new one. And it's funny as you got I got more and more successful like the material stuff fell off of it and it became more about experiences with people I loved and different things. But so the number one

1:05:59thing I talk to people about when I start if I'm coaching someone is what do you actually want out of your life? What do you want the relationship with your partner to look like? And almost play it like a movie. Right? So you know for me I was doing this at 20 early my early 20s and I knew exactly what I was looking for in a partner. I knew what I was looking for. Uh I just figured those things out. So when I'm dating, I was dating girl, you know, these women and I went I met my wife and I went, "Oh my, this is it. She's the everything. She's ex like we have we're you and I are the hard charging. Let's go make it happen." My wife is like sweetest angel from heaven. Wakes up every morning just hey babe it's an amazing day. I mean the most beautiful joyous per and it 25 years later she's exactly the same person right that she was then. So figuring out those things, the unlock for me, Shayla, was then how do I plot progress and know if I'm on or off track,
right?
So being uh I am like you, the most competitive person. Like if I go to a gym and get on a treadmill with other people, I look around and think I I'm

1:07:02going to stick on here and go faster, longer than this person, and I don't care if I die, I will have to beat them. It's something that they don't even know we're in a competition. Like I And that's that's it's the drive to win. And so I took all that instead of going external and competing I was like how do I plot? So I I plotted my net worth where did I want it to land 30 years in the future and then every month when I do it on my on or off track because the as dollars come in or I make investments and the better I run the companies the more profits we create all that rolls into my net worth and I have a really systematic way to see in my vehicle that I have my fantasy team which is Brett Tanner. I draft my same same team every season. I don't get to draft other teams. Right. You're drafting a Shayla, I'm drafting Tanner. Am I on or off track? And am I? Because for me, once I saw like, okay, I'm on track. Then the game becomes, of course, you're going to know right where this goes. How do I get ahead? How do I start living it in 2029, even though it's 2025? How do I get 10 years ahead of my playing? And and and you're really it's it's real time feedback because every

1:08:04month you come in, I report the numbers, I look at it, and go, am I or am I not? I think the biggest mistake people make, so the people that are listening this, if you're if you're locked in right now, number one, figure out exactly what you want. And then number two, you got to figure out how you're going to measure that thing. The third thing I walk people through shows I believe they've got to determine life has costs. And there may be a season where you're going to pay some costs. You're you've had many seasons, but like one when you're out there doornocking. When I was out there doornocking, that was a cost. I didn't get charged up in the morning to go out and jord knock, but it was the way that I could achieve my goals.
Yeah.
Right. And then the last part is a stop at nothing to get what you said you wanted. And there's going to be hard times and there's going to be challenges. There's going to be all those things, but it's more rewarding than you could possibly ever imagine when you get there. And I think you providing that clarity is just is so cool. And it's such a powerful I love the Sunday. I love looking back what what what was great what I want to change I love

1:09:05looking forward I even I I think it's so powerful of writing down to kind of see where the gaps are and to your point does that flow right does that give me energy or take energy
yeah you're flowing right and so in addition to having a planner and teaching my members to do it and walking them through the clarity exercises every quarter and like that they're doing it every quarter and then living it out and then seeing where they get off track and what their limiting beliefs are that pop up and all the crap that we have the bad programming we've got to override. Um, every week on a live coaching call on Zoom, they're plotting progress and and I'm guiding them through that and they are um recalibrating and doing some self-reflection because most people plan, you know, spend more time planning their next vacation than they ever would planning their life or actually looking in the truth mirror and say, "How am I doing and where can I lean in?" and then empowering themselves in that direction and whether it's shame or whether it's just distraction or being on social media but it's taking that practice so

1:10:07every week we do that live I do a 45minute call live I'm also integrating one business system every week so like not overwhelm but like one system around relationships or time management or you know being better in the interview or booking appointments or what have you so that you know they're progressing in terms of their their masterful skills and then once a month I do a look back in those four categories f i e were you on fire and what where did you give your best effort I don't want to see all the ways in which you sucked I want you to highlight over the last month where did you win you know maybe you went on a hike maybe maybe you went and saw a doctor and got you know your blood work done like we are always making progress a lot of times we just can't see it and even the tiniest bit of progress that we're plotting along can help us go, oh, boom, now I see this month what I want to do to improve that 1% or whatever the case is. So, I'm so happy that you said you got to have the vision and then you got to plot the

1:11:09progress. And then the stuff in the middle is why you have a coach. You have somebody outside of yourself giving feedback that will listen to the words you say and say, "Wait a minute. I keep hearing you say this," which means you possibly have a limiting belief around that. Wh why do you believe that? Why do you think it's too hard? Why do you think that blah blah blah blah blah? And those have been the most enlightening conversations for me? Because it's like, oh, I don't know where that programming came from, but it's not serving the vision that I have right now. How am I going to get over that and change my thinking and expand my mindset and and retool my calendar? What whatever the tactic needs to be? Um, but a coach and a process and a framework is really powerful, which is why I'm spending the rest of my life coaching and doing what you're doing, Brett. It's it's super gratifying. And without it for me, I would just be be a driven person spinning in circles doing good, but never great or exceptional. And um, so that's the way I choose to give back.
I Well, first of all, you're going to

1:12:11have to come back to the podcast. we have to have you back because uh I know our listeners need it, but uh I needed to hear it's so cool to see someone living their passion, right? It's just it's it's so cool. So, I want to switch gears to kind of the wrap-up here. Give me some what you think about books you recommend to people. You know, I know you're a voracious reader. Um, and if you want to give me your top three most gifted, the top three your favorites, however you want to, what what are the books that you would recommend for the listeners?
How to win friends and influence people changed my life. Um, and it's a book that I could reread every year just to remember human behavior and how we're all wired because most everything is about dealing with other humans and just having better relations and figuring that out. Um, I really like Code of the Extraordinary um, mind by Vishen Lakhiani. That really helped me with visioning and like there's some good exercises in there. Um, gosh, I've loved every one of Ben Hardy's books.

1:13:14Um, the 10X is easier than 2X is you had me read that Brett. I give all the credit to you. I read it, I kindled it, I audibleled it, I've highlighted. It's so profound and good. I love it so much. and punow. So his his trilogy he did with um
Dan Sullivan
Dan Sullivan unbelievable right who how 10x is not 2x there was the third oneapping
have you seen it uh gap gap and so I was in actually Dan Sullivan's coaching program um
with highowered entrepreneurs it actually wasn't for me the best part for me of being in Dan Sullivans was Ben taking Dan's ideas and making them actionable right like that was the best part have you seen Hold on I'm going to I'm not running way. But since you mentioned Ben Hardy, you got in my bag here. His new book, I'm only I'm only like 20 pages in, but it's
Yeah.
Do you love it?
It's um You You got to get it. Uh it's You will absolutely. It's, you know, I'll tell you what got me. When Tony

1:14:15Robbins says, "This is the book that I wanted to write." I'm like, "Well, you then you got me."
Um that's where, you know, I I lock in.
Brett, what book are we reading for be wealthy right now? cuz I have not done that homework assignment and I
Well, we are reading Well, good question. So, our mastermind is next week. Uh, the slight edge.
The slight edge.
The slight edge. You will you already live it, but I think it will be a book that you could take and and bring into your your program. You'll you'll you'll find um it was on my list forever and it was like the third time Katelyn brought it up. I went, "Okay, I'm going to throw that in. I'm going to I'm going to read it." So, as we're wrapping up here, I want to ask you this. If you're I want to imagine you go and transport yourself back and you're going to talk to the 21-year-old or 20-year-old Shayla. What would you say to her? What advice would you have?
Bet on yourself. Find your people. Find mentors in all the different areas of your life that you can learn from because one person probably won't have

1:15:17it all. But you'll find somebody for discipline. You'll find somebody for spirituality. you'll find somebody for the way that they mother their kids and study, learn, raise your hand, ask questions, get in the rooms, get a coach, um, and trust the process. You have a long life ahead of you. So get good at one thing at a time and trust yourself to know what that next thing is, where you're stumbling, where you're frustrated, but build mastery one thing at a time with a lot of support and mentors and an awesome environment around you. Like be very careful to curate positivity and awesome people around you because you know energy is contagious. And so when you're betting on yourself, be around people who are also gonna wave the flag and cheer you on.
I I can't think of a better lesson for every young person out there today. So

1:16:19Shay, if people want to interact with you, if they want to, if they're watching this, they're like, I want to be in Catalyst. Where do we send listeners, and we'll include all in the show notes, too, but where would you want to send them to?
Go to my website, shaylagifford.com. Um, you will find my podcast episodes there. I run the rain maker podcast. It is for mortgage people but I think it totally applies. I do a lot of solo episodes too. So I teach a lot of these frameworks. The second thing is I have a rain maker uh archetype assessment because for most people their challenge with visibility and putting themsel self out there and being more bold and asking for the business is that they aren't clear on their strongest way to do that. What is your strength? Are you a marketer? Are you a networker? Are you a technician? Um, or are you a trust builder? So, I I really help you in a four-minute assessment and the following blueprint like what are your strengths and also what's your Achilles heel of your type and where do you have to expand your comfort zone so that you can

1:17:21keep getting growth and scale and then obviously I've got a page about catalyst. You can get on my newsletter. Um, you can book time with my team. So, shaylagifford.com can get you all you need. I I I would say if you're in the mortgage industry, you and you want to go to the next level. I I you come with my highest highest compliments and your pride just know I know you deeply as a person. I've got to spend a lot of time with Gayen and you are absolutely the real deal. Again, in a in a fake world, you're the most one of the most real people I know. So, thanks for all you do for our industry, for helping so many, sharing so much to our listeners today. I'm grateful for you. Thank you so much, Shayla. We got to have you back and I will see you next week.
All right. Have a good day.