How Wealthy Families Raise Kids Who Aren't Spoiled

0:00It's about making sure money doesn't ruin their judgment. Is it just money? Well, that's easy, right? Any basic trust or will handle that. But if it's judgment, that's different. If it's confidence, that's different. And so most parents, they say, "I want my kids to have more than I did. I don't want them to struggle." And I hear this all the time, "I don't want them to be entitled." Welcome back to the Be Wealthy podcast, where we help real estate agents, investors, and entrepreneurs make more money and then show them what to do with their money. I am joined by my co-host Kaelan Mitchell, who has now proceeded to take her jacket on and put it take it off and put it back on and now it is thrown over there. And with that, we're ready to jump in. Kaelan,

I I'm so glad you're here with only the two jackets.
Thank you so much for having me, Brett. I'm excited to be here with just my two jackets. To be fair, it was very cold in this room yesterday. So, I came prepared, but then I got so excited for the podcast, started moving around. Now I'm self-regulating my temperature. I feel great and I'm ready to rock.
are moving it around. Now, something

1:03what what are what are viewers not the listeners, cuz I'm going to for the listeners out there, I'm just going to paint a visual with your mind. Imagine that you were in a pirate ship in the movie SpongeBob SquarePants.

That is what I feel like this room would look like, Cole. This is a room where there's some sort of fixture above us that is looks like it's out of a Chuck E. Cheese, but more in the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon.
I I would say it's Chuck E. Cheese meets a pirate ship in an unwritten episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. That's really what we're looking at here. And And I think that it's luxurious.
And that's what when you see a property, Cole, that has the potential of a pirate ship, it's a must-buy, okay? I mean, you throw
The question is, where's the hidden treasure?
Here's what you do is you throw math out the window and you say, "I'm in." Due diligence, What due diligence is needed on a pirate ship? I mean, it's in the ocean. Okay. So, today we're going to talk a little bit about

2:05pirate ships. I'm going to bend this back. And I don't know if you know this, but pirates, Katelyn, historically didn't have a lot of kids. Okay?
I see what you're doing here.
But pirates also had money. So, if they had kids, today's episode is how wealthy people raise their kids with a healthy relationship with money. What do the wealthy do with money that are positive things with their kids? Not what pirates would do.
Should they have children?
have children? And it's it's a hard business to have kids and being a pirate. So, so here's the deal, Katelyn. We got to talk about some truths here. And as you know, from one of the greatest thinkers of our time, that all progress starts with truth. I One day on another episode we'll have to bring up how that came to be. But it's just something that uh I believe is very true. That all progress truly does start with truth.
a hidden treasure for a future episode.
treasure. That is a I believe they call that an Easter egg, Cole. That's what the kids are calling it. That's what they're saying. And so, here's the reality. Money is one of the most powerful forces shaping our children's lives.

3:06Lots of it, not enough of it, money is going to shape it. And the second part of that is it's not taught in taught intentionally. Right? Most of us are going to have an experience with money. Again, from whatever environment, wherever we get our information from. Right? We grew up in a in a in a wealthy household, that's our exposure. We grew up in a wealthy neighborhood. It's not whether or not you had money, but your exposure to people with it and how it's talked about shapes your reality. And what we know is that we experience very little of what goes on in the world. Yet we assume we've experienced everything, Katelyn. We We only see a very small sliver, but because of that small sliver, we just assume that the rest of the world works like that.
Sure.
And it couldn't be more obvious uh that sentence where when you travel internationally. And I have the good fortune I I my whole mission in life is to have epic experiences with people I love most. And when you go to a Korea, a Japan, a Belize, a pick pick your location, you get to see how different cultures interact. And And money's a part of that

4:07culture, right? Money's just baked into society. Not saying good or bad, it's just it's different on what the culture might value with dollars.
Mhm.
Or just it's a very, very interesting. And so, you know, when with as parents, we really don't know what's the best way to give our kids the most advantage, right? I haven't yet to meet someone that, you know, is raising kids that says I gosh, I hope my kids really struggle, have a tough time, almost shatter, and it's a constant beat down by the game of money in life. Instead, we want them to have the things that we didn't have. I think that's the first thing is we want them to We want to remove that hardship. And there's some problems with that, right? Because Kindle, when I look at my life, a lot of what made me uh successful was the struggle.
Mhm.
And I'm going to talk about some stories, but my parents allowed me to struggle comfortably is what I would say.
Okay.
I I'm not as comfortable maybe as I would have liked, but I wasn't wanting for food. I mean, I wanted more, but they let me kind of it was a safe screw up environment is what I'm going to call it.

5:08I feel like my whole life I've had a safe environment in which I could screw up in and and then I could learn a lesson that I would be taught later. And so, most parents, they say, "I want my kids to have more than I did." But I want them to to get further. I don't want them to struggle, and I hear this all the time, "I don't want them to be entitled." I hear that. And when you think about those three things, they're kind of in conflict. Right? I I I don't want them to struggle, but I want them to have more. Well, right there where the where where couldn't be further apart, right? Cuz struggling's likely what's going to lead you to having more.
Sure.
Right? The more, you know, the more problems you can solve.
Hard times create stronger people.
Well, I mean, you got to have the hard times to to get to the easy times. And so, we're going to talk about how the wealthy people how wealthy people raise their kids to understand money without being spoiled or scared about it. So, it's not about making your kids rich, it's about making sure money doesn't ruin their judgment. And Katelyn I always when I talk about this I get this question probably as it relates to kids when we give our

6:09presentations or talks and we talk to our clients and our mastermind members, what comes up is they say, "Brent, how do you raise How do you not ruin your kids with money? How are you raising your kids with money?" And I have a very specific answer. And they say, "Well, I aren't your kids, you know, are they going to be entitled?" And I I said, "Well, can I ask you a question? Does money or growing up around money make the kid entitled?" And most all of them will answer, "Well, yes." And I go, "Really? Cuz I've seen some people that don't have any money and their kids are very entitled."
It's hard.
I see it a lot of ti- right? I mean, I've seen I've seen it many times where kids have way less than my kids do and it'll be one of my kids' friends and we're experiencing something and they're less grateful, more entitled, crave more, want the newest thing, and even though they have less resources. So, in that and I've experienced in my life and if you think about it, right? Have you ever seen a spoiled kid that's that's not well off?
I'm going to say it, a spoiled brat.
You've seen a spoiled brat that with the parents don't have money. Of course you have.

7:10
Sure.
And then have I seen a spoiled brat with the parents that have tons of money?
Of course you have.
Of course I have. Now, what's interesting is the kid was just a spoiled brat, the money had nothing to do with it. But who do we always blame in that context? It's the rich people with the spoiled spoiled kids.
Sure, it's easier.
It's It's just That's a great narrative.
Mhm.
But it's a narrative of society when Why are we only blaming the rich people for having spoiled spoiled kids? But it's a societal belief. Because that's a way to dig at them.
It's true.
And so, it doesn't neither good nor bad. I just think that's interesting. And so, here here's why money lessons fail at home. Number one reason, parents teach money accidentally.
What do you mean by that?
Uh there's no plan. We're teaching it that oh, I lost my job and things are harder, so we're going to spend less money today. Well, okay, I got it. That's not a great lesson. Tightening your belt, living frugally, and showing budgeting prior to that would have been intentional. Cutting everything off when you don't have money, that's that that doesn't They just well, if this happens, I do this. That that doesn't really build the mom. And so, kids absorb money beliefs

8:13through what causes stress in the household, what parents argue about. That's literally where the okay, we've got money around the new car.
Yep.
Mom's
She's a spender, he's a saver. He's a spender, she's a saver. And then all the emotion that goes into it, right?
And usually the parents are going to pick one thing from each other, right? Like, you play too much pickleball and you like too much shoes. What whatever. And you're like, well, none of those are our problems in and of themselves. We've got a bigger global issue there. They learn their money beliefs through what the parents celebrate. What are the parents celebrating? And then what the parents avoid talking about. You know, again, Morgan Housel wrote the book. It says, "Your personal experience money are more powerful than formal education." Kids don't learn from lecturers, they learn from patterns.
You know what's crazy? So, one of your very first episodes in season in in the very beginning, when you first launched this podcast, we talked about our ourselves. And you challenged us to say, "What are our money beliefs? How do we think about money? How is money handled in our home as we grew up?" And then now

9:17we see ourselves for me, I see myself, you know, in my mid-40s now, looking back that the conversations that happened when I was eight, nine, 10 shape my behaviors today. On this episode, what you're doing is saying those conversations, it's now our dining room table. It's our way to look at the kids and how are our conversations are the ways we're thinking about money, the way we're having a conversation with our spouse, how is that shaping our kids today? So, I think that's so interesting, cuz it's so easy to sit like in your therapy chair in essence and go like, my parents really messed me up. You know, they did these three things and and X, Y, and Z happened. But, what you're saying is now let's actually, we've spent the past couple of years on this podcast shaping how we think about spending money, how we're doing these things. And now you're saying, how are we communicating that to our loved ones around us? How are our activities breeding their behavior? Is it into a set uh you know, sense of entitlement? Is it into being responsible and giving back to your

10:18community? How are you thinking about that and shaping that in your everyday conversations and in the ways that you're modeling it? So, I think that's so cool, cuz it's easy when we listen to it at the beginning, right? Cuz we get to go into victim mode, right? Not my fault. Those wackos really messed me up, right? But, now I'm empowered to change it, right? That's what we did initially. But, now you're saying, how do we do the next generation? Which I think's awesome.
So, as so as our our crew's listening today, what I'd have you think about two things. When you hear this, what did you hear from your parents?
Yeah.
And then, do you want to relay that back down to your kids, or do you want to change it realizing that personal finance is personal and you could change the story.
Totally.
Right, we're all running those 40-year-old stories. We got to change our story about money. And so, here's the mistakes, and even in the wealthy household, the mistakes are the same. So, the mistakes are possible for everyone. So, first thing, Katelyn, money is either weaponized or it's taboo. Think about that for a minute. It's either you can't talk about it. So, where I grew up, you know, I grew up in the country, rural Colorado, and in my household, money was fine. Uh you could talk about it. We didn't have any.

11:19But, we could talk about it. It was abundantly out there. You know, money is either scarce or abundant. There was a lot of it out there. We just kind of the Tanners hadn't figured out how they were going to get there, you know, their portion of it. Most people in that town, there was things you didn't talk about. Katelyn, you know, you know, what are the three things we can't talk about?
Money, religion, and politics.
And that's where I'm from. That's the That's the three things. You just say we can't
What's so funny?
You can't talk about it, right? Cuz so it's taboo. So again, what I would say, regardless of where you're at, talk about money. If you don't have it, tell people how you're saving it and where you're going with it. Tell your kids. Explain to them. Hey, we're working hard. We're getting it. Walk them through it. If you've got some, explain how you got it and what you're doing with it. How do you make decisions? You can learn from both sides of that coin, but not talking about it because at some point that kid's going to have an experience with money, and they're not going to know how it works. You know, like day like I always say how many, you know, how do you know some things? Well, some things are days on Earth. Like I think most people understand what a car windshield costs.
Mhm.
I can say my kids would probably nail it. Because I tell them, "Hey, do you know how much this car windshield costs?" And I tell them. Yet I had an

12:20assistant about three or four years ago, and I had her call in for my truck. I said, "Hey, hit a rock on the freeway." And she called it in, and she get a price that was I think about 400% of the actual cost of the windshield.
of dollars.
Thousands. It was multiple thousands. And I said, "Hey, um just real quick, um were you replacing all the glass in the entire vehicle and maybe doors and the tailgate, or was this the front windshield?" It was the front windshield, and I said, "Oh." Yeah, front windshields don't cost $4,600. Just going to give you a little tip there. Now, maybe it was something really cool. And this was for a regular truck, Katelyn. This wasn't like an army tank that I was retrofitting. And you know, but that's days on Earth, right? Like at some point at 26 years old, you need to understand what a car windshield costs.
Do you think it was the insert of What is that when you're driving and like the pop-up comes and it shows you like if there's a deer in the road on the windshield? And she thought maybe in Chandler, Arizona,
a heads-up display. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was pre self-driving and it had cameras built into it, but you know,

13:21
Yeah, it was it was wild. And so, you know, here's another mistake. Spending's inconsistent and unexplained. You see a lot of that, right? We're not doing it. Oh, super helpful. The kid does not understand why. What if you explain to them why? What if you explain differentiation? Like why we make decisions. So, kids see outcomes but not reasoning. We spend money on this but we don't on that. But in a lot a lot of it I think it's because the parents don't know why they spend money on things.
1000%
So, there's no model and they can't teach the kids. Well, all we got to do is take one step up and go, well, what is our model around spending money? Which we're going to you know, we've talked about it. We just did a whole
Well, even the
This is a six-part episode about on the kids, but go back and listen to the other five episodes. You're going to end up with your spending philosophy here.
Totally.
And then one that you could you could impart on your kids and you could share it with them.
Correct.
You know.
But you have to have a model and you have to have framework. Otherwise, it's just all driven by emotion and there's no way to intentionally or purposefully teach how I just, you know, decide because the wind's northwesterly

14:25today or whatever you would call it that I decide I'm going to spend money on this. That's a terrible way to teach someone something, right? So, if you don't know your model, there's no freaking way you can teach your kids.
Well, and Katelyn, the best part is the first question when you teach the kid or you tell the kids something, what's the first question the kid's going to ask?
Why?
Yeah, why do we do it that way? Because we do it that way. Okay, not helpful. Not a not a great not a great teaching moment. Well, we do it that way and then you explain you get a chance to work through your decision. And then the kid goes, why would you do it that way? Might be a better model, right? Be open. There's sometimes I make decisions my kids are like, "Whoa, Coop, that's
That's pretty smart.
I think we do do it that way. But your kids can see that, right? Like, "Hey, we had a model and then if we have an improvement to the model, we make that change." The other thing is that I'd say the mistake people make is they try to hide they try to protect their kids by hiding reality.
Mhm. I think that happens a lot.
Let's not tell them. Let's just tell them no that we don't want to be we're not uh we don't like the soccer coach. Instead of the real reasons we can't afford another sport,

15:27why wouldn't we walk the family through a model to make that decision?
To understand our budgets and understand what we're looking at and our and what our spending rate looks like and our burn rate and an increase of $2,000 for soccer this fall has to come from somewhere.
So hey guys, we could tighten up a little here to make that decision as a family, and they could all vote, and then everyone gets to pay that price. I think that'd be really a helpful
maybe the whole family looks at it and says Susie doesn't need to play soccer, right? Or they say let's make those sacrifices and do it, but you're now educating around the decision and having a conversation that empowers the entire family to work as a unit.
And so what happens when you do it this way? When you make one of those mistakes, Katelyn? The result is this. Kids are going to grow up afraid of money,
Okay.
obsessed about money, or totally clueless about it. And maybe some version three, and all three are bad. I don't have an obsession with it provided it's linked to you living your best life, and that there's a purpose that involves you finding your authentic self, and then you want to do good in the world, then I'm all about it. If you're just obsessed to

16:28to you know, for money for money's sake, and you want to be Ebenezer Scrooge, well, that doesn't that's no one saying to do that, right? I mean, money is not bad.
Mhm.
It's neither good nor it all it does is allow you options and
it allows you optionality.
It allows you, but it's Think about it, it gives you options, and it gives you access.
But I think it's the same thing as power. It's the same thing as so many different It it just makes you more of who you are. So make sure you put the right framework around it to not make it emotional.
So when I when you if you think about it this way, your kids don't inherit your net worth. They do not. They inherit your money habits. And so what you want to leave, your legacy should be principles. And it should be a way of thinking about money. Now, that could come with money to it as well, but I think without the principles the money's worthless.
Sure.
So, what I am leaving to my kids, I mean, my my legacy letter that I wrote to the trustees was lessons. How I thought about money and how it improved their lives.

17:31
Isn't that the definition of leadership? We just talked about that at the mastermind the other week. Leadership is teaching other people how to think. And your and
So, so that they can get what they want when they want to get it.
And your success as a leader is the evidence of those people succeeding, right?
The measurement The way I say you The way you measure leadership would be the results of your people in this context. The results of my kid will kids will be the That will be the effectiveness of my leadership. Right? I mean, if I didn't lead If I didn't lead well I mean, that's the measurement, right? You know, I've got some family members who will have to remain nameless for this podcast that I don't know that I agree with them or at all. And yet, I look at them as parents. And I've got someone in our extended family, again, remain nameless, but they went like five for five with just successful kids.
Wow.
I mean, they're all like wow. And you're going, "Hey, I kind of disagree with these two human beings, the parents, like on all everything."
crushed it when it came to the kids.

18:33
But whatever they're doing, maybe externally they're not and maybe internally it's just they're running a they're running a Be Wealthy mastermind 24/7 365 in their living room, but it's so good cuz you go at the end of the day I would sit down in a room and and want to learn. Like, "What did you What were those rituals?" And I know, Keelin, you've had incredible ones that I want to get to. But I I I just wanted Everyone leaves a legacy. Your kids are that legacy. And kids can understand anything.
Mhm.
And so, talking to them about money, whether you have it or not is not the problem. So, here's the shift I want our listeners to have today.
Okay.
That wealthy parents think differently about money education. Okay? They don't ask, "How do I give my kids money?" I I've never heard someone say, "How do I give my kids judgment around the money?" If you need help in your business right now, and you've got a challenge or an opportunity that you really want to hone in and capitalize on it and make a game-changing breakthrough in your business, come out to our one-day workshop. This is something we've never done before. We're now doing them at the resorts we've bought, so they could be

19:35at Apple Mountain, Georgia, they could be in northern Arizona. Um they might even be in Belize in the future, but you get to come to a one-day where there I'm not going to present slides. It's literally you and your business, and you're going to leave with an action plan you can implement in your business. Go to bewealthypodcast.com, and you can click on our upcoming events and see where we'll be and book to come. We have the room is limited. We have no more than 15 people in the room. Go to bewealthypodcast.com, and you can book our one-day workshop coming up. You know, we we we we mention a lot of the same books on this show because there's actually not that very many books that are great on money, sadly, right? But there's, you know, this whole Millionaire Next Door book that we talk about a lot. And they looked in in self-made wealthy families. Now, this was self-made, not inherited wealth. In that book, the self-made wealthy families, they avoided lavish childhoods. In other words, they were living beneath their means, showing delayed gratification. So, two things. They they didn't buy the home they could afford. They were living beneath their means. Well, why did they

20:38do that? It's actually not because they're trying to be humble. It's margin, right? They were like, "Hey, I'm going to have I'm going to live off such a small percentage of my net income that if something changed, I'm indestructible. I'm never going to get hurt."
And so that I have margin to go either save, so that if I did lose that job, it's not we cut off everything for the family. I have months of reserves, all of those things together going. Or, so once they saved, now they have margin to go and actually invest. Without those two things, you can't live a wealthy life.
But they started that way because that's what gave them the They gave them
Correct.
options and access. They chose the option of, "Hey, I don't want to torch it on cars and stuff, and I could cuz I have the expendable income. I'm just going to go buy houses and in assets, and then eventually those can buy the stuff and things."
Absolutely.
And so, the other thing that that self-made wealthy families do, right? What do they do? They delay financial independence. Like they're waiting. They could They could go out earlier. They're waiting in everything. Delayed gratification. And they're even waiting their financial independence They're They're financially independent. They still wait it out. They're long financially They're They got two, three,

21:40four times the passive income that they need, like four times their burn rate, cuz they're just never going backward. They time money to responsibility and not rewards. And actually, that's the thing I see the most with really wealthy people that do it right. The kid has
They time money to responsibility, not rewards. Give Can you give me an example?
give you a million. So, and instead of giving your kid an allowance that's kind of loosey-goosey around the activities, it would be, "I need you to be responsible for this outcome, and I'm going to pay you this for this level of responsibility." And then the kid says, "Hey, I need more money." "Cool. You're currently in charge of running our kitchen facility, which is also be your island at home. Okay? You're responsible for the dishes being washed, put away by 8:00 p.m. every night would be our facility standard. You're responsible for this, the trash out." And then when the kid, you know, this would be base-level stuff. And then you go like, "Well, is that a chore?" Well,

22:42kind of, but it's a checklist and it's managed to do a time
Sure.
a lot like a job or KPI or something we might run here.
I don't know, lead and lag indicators with deadlines.
But they're learning like, "Okay, there's a There's a standard. There's a timeline. There's a process. There's a system." Okay, I'm teaching a business.
And there's also not a There's not a a leniency in it. It's you achieve or you don't.
I don't talk to my kids. I don't say this is our you know you're going to be running this this This is our island. This is the This is the food facility of this of this total facility. I even use the word facility in my home. Well, this is a facility cuz we're running it like a business. What business in your life has got $125 or $180,000 a year going in and out of it and no one tracks a damn thing? Me included until 3 years ago. And I Serena, we're running facilities. I want to see a budget on every home I own. On the actual expenses of what it costs to turn that facility on and turn it off. I want to know.
I love it.
Because Katelyn, we know that. But, then I started talking to my kids about the facility.
the thing is you're talking to your kids differently.
hearing about a facility and then they're going, "Well, I want more money." Well, what else are you going to

23:43take on at this facility?
Yeah. I got to reduce labor somewhere.
Do you want to I mean, we got we got inflows and outflows here. And so, I think the best model I've ever heard of the best sentence about this as it relates to your kids comes from Buffett who's probably the most quotable CEO ever. And he goes, "Here's what I plan to leave for my children. Enough money so they can do anything but not enough that they can do nothing." And someone asked me about my kids, I said that's what I'm going to leave. Enough that they could do anything but not enough that you could do nothing.
Smart.
Isn't that good? I mean, if you've got to do Mine's much more restrictive. I mean, it's yes and there's rules. And our trust has some very hardcore rules with their money. And violate the rules. I mean, there's only a few which I
And as they're personal for your kids.
that I can't put you know the out for the world to decide. But, I would tell you if I read them off to everyone, they would go, "Well, I could 99.9% of humans are going to live within inside of this without even know and they would just naturally do it." However, there is a cost should you violate them. Because it's our money.

24:46It's tailored to my money. And what we decided to do I was saying we'll just give it to the others and spite them for it which would now create a negative in money which we're going to get to. And instead I said, "No, no, what we'll do is we'll just skip you and we'll give it to your kids. So, your your heirs will be grateful for your mistakes.
For your for your decision that was yours, it just wasn't in alignment with the principles upon which we wanted the trust to sit, right? So, you've established principles of how you want the family to operate to benefit from the financial world that you and Taylor put together, right? And then if if someone in your family violates the principles, not to say it's good or good or bad or whatever choice they made, that was their choice and now they no longer fit within your principle system, and the ramifications of that are they would not reap the benefit of it, it could go to the heirs who hopefully are being taught that same thing as well.
We hope. Yeah, and I actually do have a thing I can give you an example that I can give you one of the more controversial ones that

25:49is publicly consumable.
Brent, are we going to get a hot take?
We're going to get a This is a
This is a Tanner family hot take?
kids are aware of this. So, all of them their their spouse will sign a prenup.
Yeah.
And it's not to say that my kids might marry someone far wealthier than us. And my wife
should sign it two ways.
She goes, "Well, what if, you know, Brecklin marries I go I hope that she marries someone who has way more money than we do." And we would happily sign the prenup. She should sign it. Like I would have no problem. I'd go, "Sweetheart, this is the way it works." And then it works the other way with I would go, "I'll make it easier. You guys keep your stuff, she'll keep her stuff, and we're great. They love each other."
Well, grip and rip, but everyone, just so you know, we're going to be in Hawaii for Christmas.
But I would say outside of the money thing, we're all going to Hawaii and our deal, and you guys are welcome to come.

Well, I think that's important that they know that.
Sure.
My kids are aware of that right now. Like they don't wonder like if they don't if they they could and you could sign a prenup or don't. It does It has no bearing on the quality of my life. It'll radically change yours.
Sure.
But our lives are all, you know, what goes on my gravestone is our lives are the sum of our choices, nothing more,

26:51nothing less. And I want them to make good choices. I also want their their partner that they marry to come into it because they love them, because they know that money is something they'll never have.
Sure.
Right? Like we're not It's there to take care of my heirs, and while you are a part of that, and we would love to take care of you. But should you choose to get off that bus, you'd leave what you came in with, and I think that's very fair.
But the point of what we're looking at here, yes, we can go down the prenuptial We can go down all of these, but the point of it is your family sat together, you and Taylor sat together to determine, number one, how do we want to raise our kids today at this kitchen table, at the facility, right? How do we want to raise them in such a way that they learn how Taylor and I think about money, how we make those choices,
That's right.
and how do we implement it for them. Then you're going one step further and saying, then how do I leave it as my legacy from there? But I think the cool part about what we're covering today really gives them the framework of how will they choose

27:53to think about money, to spend money, to raise their families with money based upon this framework. And I think that's so cool. I don't think most people, Brett, I really don't think most couples have sat down and said, what is the framework or the principles of how we want to raise our kid around money? I think they talk about it with religion. I think they talk about it politics all the other forbidden things, but I really don't think most families sit down and say, how do we want to teach our kids when the moment they walk out that door, how will they think about money?
Uh And so, what before we jump into to what wealthy parents do not do, Kennan, I would ask I guess all of our listeners this, do your kids know what you make on an annual basis? And you could go, well, why do I need to tell my 8-year-old that? I go, I don't know. I told him when he was five. My kids all know what I make on an annual basis. They know what our net worth is. You know what the assets we have. You know what they generate in income. I mean, cuz we believe our number one principle our family is radical transparency in all things. Tell the truth. You always tell the truth. Tell nothing but the truth. It It's all out there. And so, yeah, my kids know everything. Like, I don't understand

28:55how hiding them in the dark helps them be better. I just It's very odd to me. My dad was transparent for anything I would ask.
Mhm.
If I ask, "Hey, how does this work? How much is this? What are" And and it may maybe a little more than that, but not wasn't teaching it. Wasn't explaining just all of it, right? And and using your life We should all be using our lives as the instruction manual.
Sure. Modeling.
Modeling. But even like as Katelyn said, there's so many things we can do and I'm going to give examples as we get into it, but you know, you're you're driving to your rental property. And I asked my kids, you know, this is when the primary youngest was eight and the oldest would have been 13 at the time and I'm like, "Hey, you know, Cooper, you can't answer first cuz you know, you got to give the two younger ones a chance." And and you'd be like, "Hey, well, we drove to this rental property. How do roads work? Who pays for the road?" And they're like, "Well, I don't know. The road just is here." "Oh, do you So, do you think there's just a road fairy that comes along and does it? Okay. How do you think it might work?" And you got to walk through the system of taxes and city and there's state, city, federal.

29:56You know, but then you go like, "Okay, we pull in this rental, like, how does the How does it work? So, how do we make money? Well, there's someone that lives just there lives there and they pay us. They're called a tenant. They pay us money. We're going to call that income.
Mhm.
So, that's our you know, that's we get a thousand dollars. Cool. A month.
That's the inflow.
And then we've got, "Oh, what do you think our expenses are, guys?" And then they start guessing. "Well, what if you got to fix something?" "Well, okay, that's called repairs." "You know, what about you pay utilities?" "No, see, they pay the power and water." Good question. You know, but then you start going, "Well, you have taxes." "Oh, what are the taxes we pay?" Again, that's back to the road and fire. "What is the insurance?" "Well, what if it burnt down?" "Oh, okay. So, that's risk." And I'm telling you they start chewing through it going, "I got it. Each one of these gets 250 a month, more or less. I you know, you got a budget" They start
Mhm.
So they you can teach I could teach risk-adjusted rates of return to a 6-year-old. Right? Like I could do it through marbles and I mean and and really quickly go, "Oh, wow. Lower probability shot, I could make more." Like you you can get kids on it. And so what parent let's go to what wealthy

30:59parents don't do. I'm going to give you some examples. They tend to avoid, right? They do not tie the money to love. Money's not comfort, apology, or guilt management.
Examples.
I see a lot of this with the easiest place to see it with divorced parents.
Okay.
You get divorced parents, you've got a kid and both parents are trying to do more outdo the kid with money and gifts.
Like fun mom or fun dad. You go over there, you get extra toys, extra things, no rules.
And then it's you got like a Christmas, you know, that looks like it's out of control, but it's because we're tying money to love. Right? We're trying to get you I love more I love you more look how big the Christmas credit present stack was, right? It's a it'd be good.
Yeah, for sure.
That's a great example. You know, it's a way to say they're sorry for not being around, you know, things like that. Now, the problem kids who associate money with emotion. This is data. They they have struggles later with emotional regulation. So if you're tied to it, if like

32:01if
I imagine that would that would create some very emotional spending habits.
Right? When you have emotional ties to money, it's hard to regulate that later, which makes total sense, right? Cuz you're you you are swinging monetary thing occurs in your life, which there's going to be lots of them and you've got now this emotional swing because of again that story that was implanted in you by your parents.
I forget which Morgan Housel book it was in, but I almost brought up to him when we were talking the other day. It really hit me. He used this example about emotional spending and the emotional tie of like tying money to to love or tying money to certain things. And he used the example of if you met someone who was working on their health and they would say to you they had a hard day or they were feeling just, you know, some some specific way and they they wanted to eat a cake to make themselves feel better. Very logically you would say Lucy, eating the cake isn't going to make you feel better. In fact, it's going to give you a sugar high and a crash and all these things is going to give you one moment of satisfaction.

33:04That you're trying to, my phrase, eat your feelings, right? We would all know that. Yet, when you tie money to love, you're doing the same thing. So, when you're saying I want to feel better or my kid feels a certain way you don't want them to throw a temper tantrum and you give them some ice cream, right? Same thing here.
It it's it's completely that way. So, just want to make sure still do the same things, just do it for the right reasons, right?
Totally.
So, what wealthy people do not do, they don't shield their kids from all discomfort. I think that's really important. And so, wealthy parents, what I've seen them do, they allow boredom. It's okay just to be bored for a minute. You know, and even I got to be honest, when I talk to myself, Kellen, I remember it's okay to be bored.
Yeah.
You know, uh
Some of your best ideas and best thinking can happen.
Now, this was not boredom because uh we got to get Cole and Mike, we already talked about this cuz he's got to be able to chime in on stuff like this. But, last night we had a long, you know, big day yesterday. My buddy's going to be worked. We we filmed a couple episodes. And I told Cole, we got to go fishing at our pond here.

34:06
Mhm.
AKA I call it a I think 4 and 1/2 acres is a lake. I'd love the viewers to comment on that. I believe north of 4 surface acres is a lake.
Maybe we'll put a poll out there.
I mean, if if you had a boat, it was deep enough you could ski on it. I'm just saying. So, we go down there and Cole agreed to Okay, we'll put a picture up. You guys tell me. The Cole and I go down there and Cole's not a crazy, I wouldn't call you an expert level fisherman. Cole, is that fair? Okay, he is not fished a lot.
He's just not He's not an outdoorsman yet.
ask this, have you ever caught a fish by yourself, yesterday excluded? Okay, so and or had the desire
Or had the desire to.
Or had the desire to. And he's going on hikes
So he's fishing he's doing awesome. So we go down there and it Katelyn it was at I don't know if you were aware, I'm sure you were it was pouring rain. So we drove our golf cart through the woods out there and we're out there fishing our faces off. And you had to come underneath the overhang which is only about 2 inches.
Guys, was this right by where I saw that huge snake near the tractor?

35:09
Oh, on the backside of the sheds nothing I told Cole I said, well it's raining
It was It was by the tractor. There was a huge I'm talking Brett, it was a snake as big as around as this
I got to tell you based on what I did yesterday Katelyn, I would have loved to have seen the snake. Instead we just saw 6,000 spiders on the back of the thing and I was just like, you know what Cole we're fine. They look like the good kind. So we're out there just And so I throw I go, Cole I'm teaching about a cast and doing the whole thing. First cast I go, see okay you're real Hey, second cast though Cole I go Whoop. Oh boy, right. We're doing some lure fishing out there and all these Georgia but bored of my parents allowed me I fished a lot. The point of the story was I fished a lot growing up.
Sure.
Every I would go almost every weekend. And once I had a car I would go I'd be out in the river with a fly rod by myself and you Now somebody I guess with Cole at boredom you were just all I would think about was nothing but I was casting and it I will tell you as a kid that part of my childhood was I was I had so many moments where I was just out on a river I was outside.
Totally. Oh, my mom used to My siblings

36:11will laugh that I'm telling this story. My mom used to lock us outside. Not I mean, we're fine. We're absolutely fine. We're on an acre lot like it we're totally fine. We've got a swimming pool, we got all kinds of stuff to entertain ourselves. She would lock us out and say that aren't coming in here until the sun's going down. Go outside and play and be bored. No computers, you know, not that we're computers, I'm a little older, so not that many computers, but no TV. Go outside and play and just be on your own. No distractions, no friends over, no constant entertainment. Go outside and be on your own. You can take a dog. That was usually what she would say.
But what she was encouraging right there was just
to go be yourself.
Go go get bored out there because you got to invent a game.
I'm not going to take you to the arcade. Go play mini golf underwater in the pool with your sister and go make it up the game. We used to do it all the time.
Go play tag over there.
Yes.
And there and that's I think that's great. They you know what wealthy parents also allow? Small failures. I got to tell you it is

37:13the best thing you could possibly do is let your kids and we're going to have examples here in a minute, but I I could I have so many they allow them minor failure. Like I was allowed and I and my parents said to me I could fail minorly. I could screw something. I couldn't really fail big. I mean they gave me really good guardrails.
Good.
But I would have little things all the time because you know, and the way my dad I will tell you this is why I heard this a lot growing up. It was, "Hey Brett, there's never a reason for you to get in trouble cuz if you just walk me through the decision that you're you wonder like will I get in trouble or not?"
I can give you a clear answer.
You can just ask in advance before you do it and I could tell you. So in that I context you never really need to wonder. And I was like that was a good one. Cuz I would my kids would go, "Hey, if you're ever on A or B, like I don't know if I'm going to trouble if I'm late." Ask. Yeah, you're going to be in crazy trouble if you're late.
Crystal
Yeah, it's don't want you don't want to wonder on that. The other thing wealthy parents allow budget tradeoffs.
What do you mean by budget tradeoffs?
So again, they're not just shielding kids from all discomfort. So say hey if

38:15you were to get this, we're probably not going to do that. Like you were the kid probably thinks hey Hey, doing all of it. We do a lot of this in my household.
Okay.
I love the thing you want. I think, "Wow, what a good one. Have you researched it? Do you really want it? Have you wanted it for an extended period of time? Like it's not an emotional Okay, cool. You love that." Well, let's talk about the cost in life cuz life has costs.
Mhm.
So, if we do this, means we're not doing this.
Totally fine. Your decision.
But that's how life works. Life isn't an all-you-can-eat buffet of things and stuff and experiences and you get to pick all of them. You have to go, "Nope, I want that one, but I got to give up those now because I wanted that one." Or I could have these two, typically not as good things. And so, life is about trade-offs. And I think that you know, the wealthy not shielding them from everything.
Mhm.
So, resilience in kids, we need our kids to be resilient. It doesn't come from abundance. It comes from constraint with support.
Sure.
Right? We're going to Hey, we can't do that, but I'm going to support you in this next thing or we'll come at it a

39:16different way. All right, the third thing wealthy parents do not do, they don't treat money as a reward for existing.
Seems pretty straightforward, but I think it happens all the time.
I mean, this is your classic trust fund kid, right? I mean, it's just it's the worst To me, the lowest
silver spoon.
The lowest slug of society is the inherited lazy person. I mean, I mean, it just is, right? Like, you inherited money and now you just do nothing to contribute to society. I I think it's awful. I know some people that have inherited money, never worked a day in their lives, and they do more good for society. There's someone out there uh it's one of our listeners and very, very wealthy person in the valley and does more good with her wealth. It's it's so beautiful to watch, right? So, that's not like a reward for her just existing. She is it's her job as a steward of philanthropy and she's out there doing good for
That's incredible.
And so, but but that's not always the case. And so, if we treat money like whether it's an allowance, whether it's an inheritance, make wealthy parent wealthy people do not they're not just

40:18giving money just for doing whatever you did and whatever you want to do. And so they tie money to contribution. Hey, I'm going to give you the funds, but you're going to go contribute it back to society.
Mhm.
They're going to separate spending money from family wealth. So, hey, while this is all over here, your stipend, your payment for this work you're doing, the responsibility you're taking on is X.
Oh, my parents used to do that one all the time. It would be like, oh no, no, we have those things. You do not. You have You don't have two nickels to rub together. Let's be very clear.
Isn't it interesting that your parents let you know that they were in a different
for that.
I I
ours.
I am really clear with my kids and they don't love it when I do it in a group, but they'll say something and I'm like, hey, I want to be real clear that you kids are poor. And they go, what do you mean? I go, well, you don't have any money.
No.
That's the definition of poor cuz I've been poor. That's what I I was like, oh well, I have no money, I'm poor. This isn't like a Poor is just a a current status based on dollars, right? It's not a It's not a mindset that anchors in you

41:20forever. It's It's just math.
Totally.
So, but my kids are like, what what do you mean? I go, what do you mean? I go, well, do you Let me see your account. Let me see what you have. Let's see you don't have any money. Oh, the Your mother and I Oh, boy, yeah, we have money. We're fine. We're wealthy. Like we're But that is that that's a logical explanation. And I think letting your kids know
of my money isn't your money.
I think differentiation in life is one of life's most powerful forces.
Understanding the difference between something that is completely different. And so they they make kids earn trust before giving them access to future things. So, you Hey, you've got to some some legacy letters or some trust Katelyn might call for. You have to get this certain degree in
Mhm.
You have to get a certain advanced degree in accounting. Not because you have to be an accountant.
But you have to know how money works.
Because we're going to you're you have a chance to inherit some wealth here and we want you to understand how money works, right? There's certain like there and there's all different ways to think about it. Where did the whole point here? We're not just given money for doing the same thing we did. And so, comfort without context creates

42:22confusion, not confidence. So, what do the wealthy do with their kids that they overdo it? Like so, let's go we just went what do the underdo? Now, where will they overspend with the kids? Experiences that teach perspective. Travel, exposure, seeing other how other people's live and uh other people live. And in in Bill Perkins' book Die with Zero, which I agree with the fundamental premise of the entire book, which the whole point of the book is that you try to just die with no money. That's not the point of the book, but there's the best part of the book is it's the person that dies with the most experience points in life that wins the game.
Sure.
And I think that it he's nailed that, right? I've never heard it somebody explain it like that. It's expe- If two people have an equal amount of money, I guess I one person has way less money, but the other person has way more experience, I'd way rather be that person.
Sure.
I don't care how much money I have to give up to get the experience.
So, his point is you don't hoard it all, wait, and and you know, be a Scrooge about the entire thing, and die with an absolute fortune and no experiences in your life. That's
That's what we call

43:22
not a life well lived.
So, how do we do this with our kids, right? Cuz if experiences shape our world view, so I'm going to give you some examples. My my son goes to a really great school uh in Phoenix. And they have these immersions. So, again, I went on the tour, and you're very familiar with the school, and I go there and there's all these trips the kids can go on. Think summer abroad at college. I mean, it's like you can go to I think one of them was in Nicaragua. And some are local, but someone one was in LA, go to Skid Row, and one was um you're doing water conservation, and we're I mean and then you're going to the Galapagos to research, you know, whatever. I go, "Cooper, you need to do as many as you can."
A thousand percent.
looking at the costs as like and he's like, "Dad, these are really expensive." I said, "Oh, I I couldn't care less."
Do as many as possible.
Sky's the limit. If I had to if I had to go drive Uber for the next 3 years, it would be worth it for me for him to go do it. I know how important this experience. So, my son goes on the one in LA. I don't know if I've ever told you this story.
You've not told me the story.
So, he go doesn't want to like on Skid Row.

44:23
Okay.
They stay in the area. So, there's like a
Yacht.
church, something there that's very in it. Okay, I mean, the kids are there. They wake up at 3:00, 3:30 in the morning. And they go down to the shelter where they're going to serve the homeless.
Sure.
And these are like the but we're in Skid Row. So, these are like these people been in gangs. I mean, it's a it's a it's a rough part of I mean, it's known in the
It's known as the roughest.
Okay. So, they were there. After you serve them, you go sit with them and eat you get a plate for yourself and you go sit and eat with them and you talk to them and you have conversations. So, you know, my son's grown up in in nicer area, not the nicest part of Arizona by any stretch. But I mean, far from
an area like this.
Now, we've traveled the world and we've we've definitely we're not we're familiar with how the you know, how the third world is. I would say it's very like it's it's like the third world in there. I mean, it's crazy. And this perspective that he came back with wild. Like it will shape so much of his life. It was such a beautiful experience. But I look at that

45:24investment now and I went, "Ugh." It's like it could be better. And the one of the guys he met started a business where they take in the former criminals and gangsters, homeless, gives them jobs. And everybody should look up and everyone should go there and support this because I think it's called Homeboy Industries.
Okay.
And there's a restaurant. He's got these other businesses where they'll go in, teach them a trade. And the got the whole idea is to rehabilitate them to get them back to work and out of the situation if they want it. And so, Cooper was all he bought his book. He gave me the book, of course. Immediately, my kid gives me a book. It's you know,
It's the first thing you're going to read.
I have to read the whole thing because I'm going to have cuz I want to have a conversation with him about the book. And so cool. We should actually make a note, Cole, and get the the gentleman on the podcast cuz I think it'll be so good for the world to do
percent.
It's just so cool. But my point in that was I'm over-investing in the experience for them, right? Over today even my kids I want them to after a year after college we have a whole thing they need to do for a year. Like before you go out in

46:25the world and come back like I want you to go do some few life things that I think matter. But those are experiences that teach perspective. Perspective beats possessions every single time. Look, if you're out there and you're a real estate agent and you're having success, but yet you don't feel like you're successful. You're making 500,000, 700,000 dollars a year and you're asking yourself, where does the money go? I don't ever have the time. I've got I'm trying to be at home. I'm trying to be with my kids. I'm trying to have a big career. And you just feel like there's you're missing something. I think it's because you are. And if you come to our one-day workshop, you can see the testimonials on our website. Go to bewealthypodcast.com. Come spend a day and let's show you a different way to play the real estate game that helps you hit your goals. Go to bewealthypodcast.com. Second thing that the wealthy parents over-invest in, Katelyn, skills, not stuff. Education, coaching, curiosity, failure-tolerant environments. The goal is to create competence. Invest in skills. I'm And skills are not, let's be clear, I'm not saying these are even skills that they will need in the future. Like I'm not saying go get like an accounting

47:27thing or I'm saying uh I encourage Cooper like one time he wanted to learn the ukulele. I was like, "Dude, you got to do it." Let's get on it. We got to get a ukulele person in here. Like I want him to like embrace the arts as much as the science. You know, Brack you know, she loves art. Let's get her in an art class, right? Like So it's not skills, Katelyn, like
But it could be cooking. Your youngest son loves to cook.
Well, his nickname's the chef. It but it's it's skills.
Sure.
Think about it, Katelyn. Pick any skill. Isn't that like it's Why not let your kids have a variety of skills?
poetry.
It It's anything you want. So, over invest in that stuff. Last thing they do, it's responsibility gradually scaled. So, they introduce budgeting early. They over invest in decision-making consequences. You know, that whole idea, right? You make a positive, you make a negative decision. Okay, now you're here.
And then over time
And then over time we've got some gaps. We're showing how decisions compound over time, there's consequences. And giving them more autonomy.

48:29Right? So, responsibility. My son, 17, recently said, "Hey, I want to take my buddies and go up to the cabin." And I got to tell you the first reaction out of my mind was, in my head, this seems insane to let a 17-year-old go to a place by himself. And then I had to go, "Well, wait a minute. In 1 year, he's going to be living somewhere by himself. This is a great way to have a safe environment for him to go do something." So, he did it. He did a great job. I let him know I said, "Hey, this is pro- This could be one and done. You know, you screw it up, you don't meet our standards." And there was a very clear standard he had to follow. And he did a great job. And so, now it's like, "Dude, now you get more res- Now you can go up there more or whatever."
Sure.
But, you know, how wealthy adults manage money is small decisions first, bigger decisions later, and then get a feedback loop going. Right? If we can responsibility gradually scaled is how people think about it.
Hold on. Brett, isn't that just leadership in general?
Well, we talked
the same way that when a new person enters into our world, that's what we look at. Small decisions first, bigger decisions later, we then

49:33have the loop with feedback. We, as a as a company, always want to invest in their skills and to help them be more rounded and make their worlds better. We want them then to go and have experiences in places that they go that increase their perspective that they can bring it back to the organization and make it even better. Isn't this just the same overlay, but we take those disciplines in business and we talk about them until we're blue in the face, right? We come up with plans, 135s, all these things, but we don't do it at home.
But Katelyn, you know what's hard? It's hard to do it in business the right way when you can't do it at home.
Totally fair.
So that the the whole reason why we talk so much on this show that your personal life bleeds into your business.
Sure.
Cuz if you nail this there, you're applying the same model at work, you're at home, it's It's the same models in everything. And if you can you got to start by leading yourself first, then you lead at home and it it bleeds into your business and it just becomes your life. Like like I don't That's what people like, "Oh, what's it like at home

50:34for you?" And I go
Exactly the same as the office.
That's I don't I don't have this distinction between my work life and my business life. Like you've made a comment on this trip. Like you just live. My buddies came in, I was still doing meetings and things and
Well, for a lot of people it's like is it Was it this called Is it in Seinfeld Well, you might not know this episode. In Seinfeld when he's like, "Oh, my worlds are colliding." Like they're all coming together and he's a different character in each of these places and now they're all colliding into one. You're so authentically who you are at home, at work. There is no differentiation. You just you are who you are and you're executing principles and models and trying to create incredible experiences with the people that you love.
Yeah, and if I'm hanging out with people and say, "Hey, I got to go over here for like 25 minutes and meet with this person to do this thing for a little bit." And you you guys could all come. Or none of you could come and I'm going to
to go down to the county It's going to sound crazy. If you use this as a clip, Cole, it's going to sound insane. Brett, you have to go down to the county jail to get fingerprinted for some licenses that we need here for this business. And I said to you, "Your family's coming down." You're like, "Well, they can come with me. That'll be an interesting experience for them."
Yeah, we'll go to the just use I mean, who hasn't been to the

51:35
My kids haven't been to the county jail before. So I think it'd be a really good experience for them. We use that as a some kind of clickbait to get people to know why Brett went to the county jail.
I mean, I don't have a I don't have a problem telling them why it is. I mean, it's We need a liquor license at the golf course.
Of course.
And I own the golf course. And so, the liquor license needs to be in the owner's name.
It does make sense.
And so, I said, "Okay, it's We do it at the jail. That sounds cool." And so, I got to go to the jail and then I think the courthouse and and and whatever it is is but like it my It'll be It's your point. It is a great experience for my kids to learn. Dad, what are you doing today?
they're all coming with me. And they're all coming with me. And they're all coming with me. And they're all coming with me. And they're all coming with me. And they're all coming with me. And they're all
"Oh, they they won't even It happens 10,000 times. They won't even They'll think nothing of it.
I love it.
I I love what Sara Blakely
That's the girl from Spanx, right?
from Spanx.
entrepreneurial. She's absolutely incredible.
Great story, by the way. Her I spent time with her husband back in my speaking days and such a cool dude. Just a cool dude. He tells the story how he got her that he just basically just told her he wears Spanx running a 100

52:38mile. I mean, this is a crazy story how he just went after her. But it's such a cool story. Uh so, her parents celebrated failure. And I think that's I could tell you I didn't get it from Sara Blakely's parents. I got that from Gary Keller. That you fail your way to success. And so, I teach my kids that failure is not It is the most beautiful thing that can happen done right.
You always say, "Good."
Yeah, good.
Every time we say a failure, "Good."
Good.
I like it.
What did we learn?
Yep.
What did we learn? Cuz now we know that doesn't work. That's awesome. And hopefully it was minimal, right? Small. I love to fail really small a lot really quick.
Mhm.
Then I can package that up into, you know, slightly bigger failures and then I can get some wins out of it. They focus on effort and learning. Her parents did. And they deemphasize comparison. Be who you are. Don't You're You're not the person standing next to you, right?
Your journey's different. Your skills are different. Your mindset's different. Your activities are different.
If you can generate your own happiness from just being who you want to be because you want to be it, it it solves so many problems in life.

53:41And so, wealthy parents buy learning curves, not shortcuts. All right, Katelyn, we're going to go to the Be Wealthy Kids Money Framework for different ages of your kids. So, let's make it a little more actionable, Katelyn.
Okay. Where do you want to start?
I'm going to ask you eight I'm going to call this uh stage one, age 5 to 10.
Okay.
And I'm calling this just it's visibility. It's kids are now like starting to visualize money in their lives, right? They're seeing it. I want this thing, right? I go to the store. They kind of start They're kind of seeing it, right? And they're This is where their experience is that money's finite, that choices involve tradeoffs cuz we're usually asking, "Hey, what do you want? Pick one." Right? We're doing a lot of that. You know, parents explaining why, not just what, you know, hopefully, right? This is what they need to be learning here.
Sure.
Is that money's finite, we got to have tradeoffs. We got That's what we got to be showing that stuff. So, we want familiarity without pressure.
Mhm.
So, how did your parents start making it visible, money then? Like, what's the

54:44visibility like where you they were like, "Hey, I'm going to teach something."
So, there was uh when I think about it, one of the big things early on was that we had standards around the way that our rooms were cleaned. My mom
Wait a minute. You had standards around your bedroom?
Oh. It was like Fred, have you ever read Have you ever Have you Have you ever seen this movie Sound of Music?
Yes.
Okay. And so, that's the Von Trapp family, right? Which is the you know, there's this military The dad's in the military and he runs these kids like a military camp, right? And then, Julie Andrews comes in and she's going to bring all the life and adventure. My family had plenty of life and adventure, but my mom ran our bedrooms like we were the Von Trapp family. So, this is she used to So, we would have to clean our rooms, and we were responsible to clean our own rooms. She was not our maid. Now, she cleaned the whole house and took care of our household and all those things, but she said, "I am not your maid. Let me be very clear. So,

55:46you're responsible to clean your room." So, our standards would be that at 7:45 before we're about to leave to go to school, we would have to stand outside of our room, and my mom would come and walk through our rooms, and we had the standards of your bed had to be made a certain way, your laundry had to be taken downstairs to the laundry room. If there were clean clothes that were washed and folded for you in the laundry room, they had to be taken up, put away. She would the blinds, Brett, the blinds had to be open to a certain angle so that it was the right way for it to be in there. And do you know what she used to do? She's going to be so upset that I'm telling everyone this, but it's such a cool story when you really think about it. She would At first, there was a punishment associated with it because we were terrible, very messy. She said, "I can't handle it anymore. So, if you can't learn how to clean your room, you're going to eat soup for dinner. Any of the canned soup, but you're going to eat soup for dinner. You can't clean your room, you don't really deserve to have a beautiful dinner that I'm going to make for the family. You'll have soup." So, she used to walk through the room and go, "Soup! Soup!" as like I'm

56:50on soup patrol, right? So, eventually we get slick as a whistle. I mean, I got my blinds opened. I actually know, you know, I'm cutting some corners here, there. She's catching me a little bit, but overall, we get really tight on this, and now they created as it's part of our chore work. And so, we've gone from you kids are animals to now like, "Great, you actually can take on some more things, right?" So, now we're helping with the dog. We're doing just like you said, "At this facility, what else can you do?"
Yeah.
And so, then we had the opportunity to earn our allowance. And so, we would have the opportunity to earn our allowance, and that was $3 a week. And our allowance came in vouchers, which was the currency of the facility. So, we would have to print out vouchers in advance from our my dad's computer that had, you know, those tear lines for the the printer roll of paper that had the little holes on the side and you would tear those off. So, we would print our vouchers and you had to create your own check stock, if you will, and then you would have to come and have a perfect week of bedroom clean up and whatever your other chores were and then

57:54if you came during payday, which was on Friday between 3:00 and 5:00, mom would sign your voucher. If you miss payday, you don't get paid. You're not responsible enough to get here in time to get it signed, you're you're not going to get paid. And so, that was kind of the I have so many crazy stories about my family, but that was the way my mom was like, you have a job to do. There is no free meal here in this house. You're not going to starve, right? But you're not going to eat this beautiful meal with the rest of us if you can't have the common decency to make your bed. And then, if you can't figure out how to to to present at the right time and fill out the proper paperwork for your additional pay, then you aren't going to get your additional pay. So, you need to figure out how do you do your paperwork and there's no free meals here, guys. You got to work for your supper.
It I I think those stories are I mean, first of all, I think if everyone's parents ran the same way, I think the world would be a better place for that. I think it's a really I think standards are important.

58:55
She did a really good job at it. My room's very clean, Mom, if you're listening.
My My story is around Jagger. He went and wanted to make money one day and he goes, "Hey, I'm going to go We had We had a lemon tree that had more lemons than you could use in nine lifetimes this year. And he goes and picks lemons. He said, "I'm going to take them through the neighborhood and sell them, fresh lemons." I said, "Great idea." So, he goes around and just cleans up. I mean, he's selling people basket of lemons for I don't know what I don't I don't know how he did it, right? Five-gallon bucket of lemons for
Sure.
$10, $5, whatever it was. So, he comes back. He's just loaded. I mean, he's got a fistful of money.
He's He's got a little citrus empire.
And he's made, you know, he's he's knocked every door in the neighborhood. He comes back, he's sold, you know, 900 lemons or whatever for $40. And I go, "Hey, whoa. I guess I wasn't clear on our deal. I mean, what kind of action comes back to the house?" And he said
I'm sorry, you said to him, "What kind of action comes back to the house?" Well, it's To be fair, that fruit was grown on the facility.
I said. I said, "Hey, I just I Where's my portion? Where's my cut?"
[0:59:56]
And he says, "Well, I don't know what you mean." I said, "Well, I own the tree. I got the water. I got all the expense. I got the upkeep.
I'm paying taxes. I got insurance.
isn't just make lemons. I got to water it.
And this kid's making lemonade out of your lemons.
you what, I season I'll do this for 20 bucks a season. That's rights to my tree for a season. Not it's not a not a perpetual
your son a tenant farmer?
Yeah, it's it's the way it works. That's
You made him a tenant farmer.
That's how it works.
Unbelievable. I love it.
Okay, so I need the 20.
to work your land, he's going to pay you 20 bucks, and then he keeps his profits.
So, this was like he was and then Cooper comes and goes, "Hey, I'm going to go sell lemons, too." And I said, "Whoa, you got to buy the franchise." You He's got you know, the lease now. He's already kicking me the act. No more I go, "Jagger, you I take a I think you should take 10 cents out of every one he sells or something to get your I mean, so we were but there this was a real thing in our house, a negotiation around Well, he
And this has nothing to do with the lemons. This is the lesson upon which you took one guy and said

1:00:58
set up a we had a lease we had a lease against there, and then we created a franchise arrangement, franchi franchisee franchi franchise war.
now, you can't just go on someone else's land and take their stuff, right? You have to do the right licensing, the right opportunities. And then the guy who's got the idea first, the guy who goes to market first with the lemons, now he owns the idea, right?
is his country. He didn't have a contract. So, I said, "I'll just take over." And then I'll go, "Now Now I'm going to cut out and sell the whole thing with the Brooklyn and better economics but we're constantly going through stuff like this right like when I play Monopoly like I mean I'm I hammer them right and by the way another thing I don't let my kids just win they have to beat me. When I play when we play a game I mean I mean that seriously I see parents like letting their kids win I mean yeah I lost the other day I was like but you really won.
Totally you should never let your children win.
Like you're not I'm going to crush
let my nieces win and they know it.
I'm going to crush them. All right let's go to the next age group. Ages 11 to 15.
Okay.
This is where
fifth grade through junior in high school.
This is where we we need to teach participation.

1:02:00Let them have a small budget. This is where this is about the age where I was starting paying my kids to do work in the businesses so they have a little bit of money they can go make some decisions right they got a debit card.
Sure.
go ahead but then
It's Chipotle everyday.
money you got left on that? Let them make some mistakes safely. It's really where we need to learn delayed gratification. It's a great age to say hey let's What if we get that next year? What if we put that six months out? Where how did your parents show you this?
My parents showed it in a couple ways. There was always one of the things that I'm so grateful for is you know and it's it's honestly the the greatest strength which my mom now looks at it and she's like I'm so proud of it but I've really created some monsters. My siblings and I I believe have some of the strongest work ethics of anyone that I know and early on my parents always gave us the opportunity to work for money. And so there was always the opportunity you can always go make more

1:03:02money without question and it may mean that you either have to work more work harder do something you don't want or increase your skill set such that you can now earn a higher dollar.
Oh wait go to those again work harder
work harder
work more
work more. Do stuff no one else wants to do or increase your skill set such that you can do something that earns the higher dollar for trade.
Wait, before you go forward there like does everyone in the audience and all of our listeners like isn't that the secret to life, right? I mean, when you really think about to success in in your in your work life.
That's it.
Work harder, work more. But do stuff someone else doesn't want to do. That's what all the businesses are
what it is? Market a one. If you're the only person willing to do it and people need it, good news, you can charge almost anything for it cuz nobody's willing to.
Or I got to get better at one of these things and I can charge more cuz I can do more stuff. What a great But learning this at 11 to 15 years old
Totally different.
So good.
So they used to my mom in the summer, there were she was a big fan of there's

1:04:04no free no free food, no free lunches. She even had the kitchen you know, if you don't get up at 8:00 to have breakfast in the summer with everyone else. Like if you're not having breakfast, the kitchen closes at 9:00. So if you want to sleep in lose yourself, but there's not we're not opening the kitchen back up. The facility had hours as you say. But the big thing for her was we wanted the ability to make money. And so she would take chores and she would put them on 3 by 5 cards and it would say the task on the front and then the back would say what she was willing to pay for the task. So it could be something as simple as you know, if you mow the yard, you get a $1.50. If you clean up the dog poop cuz nobody wanted to do that you can get $2. If you would you know, do all of the floors, sweep all the floors, mop all the floors, clean the entire downstairs, you would get 50 cents. So she would have these laid out and you would be able to say what do I want to do? What's my skill set? And you'd have to kind of calculate because

1:05:06you're competing. You can only pick. Now of course, in my family it's always a competition. You can only pick one at a time. So you can't walk over to the table, pick six of them that you're going to do for the day. You pick one, you go do it. Now, that's yours. It goes in your pocket. You race back to the table to now get the opportunity to do more work, right? And I've got to compete against I just told you, my brother and sister are animals, right? I got to compete against them. And so, you're trying to make as much money as possible. She has us racing. She would inspect it. If it's done, she would initial the back of it. And then you race back to that table for what's your next task for the day, right? So, my mom's got us just spinning like a top over there. And she did an incredible job at it. And to this day, all of us look at things that were very entrepreneurial in that way. What could I do faster? What could I do that no one else wants to do? How can I pile things in a specific way in order to be able to achieve that? And that was a lesson she played probably if she, you know, just occupy us and help us to earn the money we wanted to so we could then go and do the things we wanted to with our friends

1:06:09or to go to, you know, whatever activity it was, we could pay our own way. So, my dad, he incentivized a different way. So, my dad really loves playing golf. Like honestly, I've never met anyone who loved it more than him. There was nothing that would get in his way. And he would want to play a lot of it, Brett. So, he would say, you know, "Katelyn, I want to take you out. Let's play golf for the day." And you know, I'm 10, 11 years old. I don't know that I want to play 54 holes of golf with my dad in one day. That's insane. But that's what he wanted to do. So, he would incentivize me for dollars for performance, right? If I hit the green in regulation, I'd get a buck. I hit a fairway in regulation, I get a buck. He gets 50 cents on the other side of it. And we're kind of gambling with each other. But I would earn all of my money for the whole summer playing golf with my dad. I'd go on trips with him to do business stuff. And we would play golf and have this running tally of money. At the end of the summer, he would come home and say to my mom,

1:07:12you know, "Katelyn's up $350." She's like, "Katelyn does not need $350." So, what they did was they helped me to learn how to budget that money for things that I needed to buy. So, now I'm going to go and I got to go to OfficeMax or wherever to get my school supplies. Or I want the specific pair of I'll never forget I wanted it more than anything, black What 10-year-old wants black patent leather Mary Jane shoes? This girl did. And it doesn't make any sense, right? I need a pair of sneakers and I maybe need one pair of, you know, a nicer shoe. But I wanted those shoes. And so, my dad would say, "Great, but it's got to come out of your budget." So, the way that they taught us was in envelopes. You have certain expenses, right? You have school supplies. You've got school uniform. You have You want a little extra lunch money. Mom makes you lunch, but you want a little something to buy at the little cafeteria. Cool. You have all these things that you need to pay for. How much in a week or in a month do you think you need for that? Then do you How do you take it and you put it in that

1:08:14envelope? And by the way, you want candy or whatever it might be on Friday for the family to watch a movie, go into your envelope, Katelyn. Do you have the money for it? And if the answer's no, well, what envelope are you going to take it from? And so, that was how they said, "We'll incentivize you guys. Work your faces off." And they have what my mom thinks is just three monsters out there that are willing to work so hard to achieve and to win. She says it's our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. And on the other side, they taught us then how to budget alongside of it to say, "What do you do with that money?" And they did it just through envelopes. It was just paper cash and envelopes at that point.
I think everyone should go replay the last 5 minutes again and again. And your own version of it. I took a version I took the golf play from what you shared with me. With my kids in the summer, I go, "Hey, if you go play golf, we're going to gamble, right? But it's performance-driven." So, I give Jagger, you know, his I gave him two strokes a hole, one on par threes.
Sure.
And we'll play for five, five, and five. So, if you can beat me, cuz I want to incentivize him getting better at golf

1:09:16is what I want to incentivize, cuz I believe that'll be a life skill. And I want to go play golf with my son. Brecklin took me He's like, "I should go to I want to start going." I go, "I love it. I'll give you same deal." And so, you know, for those who know anything about golf, you give someone two shots at every hole, it is challenging. It is very hard very quick. So, by the end of the season, I mean, he's he's just hammering me. Right? Great. And this year, we stepped it up to one a hole now. We had to, you know, cuz he's getting But, he's learning, I'm getting better, I'm out here. And now, he made by a V this year, he tried out for the golf team and made the golf team.
That's awesome.
And had we not done the gambling thing,
he probably wouldn't have been incentivized.
he would not have played enough golf, and he wouldn't have made the team. And so, I just think there's different ways we can teach participation with the money.
My mom even did this. Just as a side note, she I remember this, we would go to church on Sunday, and keeping three teenagers awake at church, it is challenging is what, you know, she she had a hard time. She would try to give us mints every once in a while. They happen to be the same Be Wealthy mints that I give out. She tried to do that and say, like, stay awake. But, I mean, we're kids. It's hard It was hard for us to stay awake in church if I'm being

1:10:19honest. And so, she said, "How can I incentivize them?" And so, she would after church, we would be sitting down to have lunch, and she would have a test. If you get 100% on the test, you get like 10 bucks. So, now all of a sudden, I want those $10. I'm going to pay such attention in church and taking notes. And so, they utilized it in ways, but it isn't just giving them money in participation alone. It's then, how do we incentivize the right behaviors and the right things, teach the right work ethic, and then tie the budget component to it.
That's so good. Most of us make massive investments in our business, and some of those investments don't pay off. So, you could come spend a day with me for $997. You come up to one of our resorts, you're going to spend a day, bring your challenge, bring your opportunities, and let's work through it in a one-on-one coaching session. You're going to be in a room of your peers, no more than 15 people are going to be there, and I'm going to coach you personally to tackle your challenge and your opportunity. Go to bewealthypodcast.com to see the next dates for our event. Let's go to stage three. So, we're now we're going to go to age 16 to 22. And so, at this age, what you want to

1:11:20teach is the kids are earning income some way. How do we make some real decisions? And let's think about experience opportunity cost. So, the goal here is really independence with support. I'll give you my
have you done this in your family?
So, currently, uh my son's going to wants a summer job up north, you know, so we go up north for the summer. And he wants to apply for a job working over at the club across the golf club in like the They have a kids kind of camp every day. So, he wants to work there or in the restaurant. Either one. So, I uh so well, you should apply. And so, you know, as much as I want to get involved and influence the outcome, I had zero involvement. I'm here for advice. And if you'd like a coach in this, And so, he kind of did it his way for a little bit. And he applied. Goes in there, application, crickets. And you know, he goes another week. I said, "I have some advice whenever you're ready. Just All you have to do is ask." So, then he's like I I get the text, "Hey Dad, I I'd love some advice I'd like a coaching session. I'd love some

1:12:22advice." Name it. He goes, "What would you do?" I would never Number one, I would never have submitted it in the way you did. Submit it but like I I I'm a What's everyone going to do? thing and push go and send the thing. I was like, "I would have immediately I would have hand-delivered mine."
Of course.
Like I would have been like, "Hey, I can't get I don't know what's going on my computer. But something something's going on. I just thought I'd just bring it in."
And hi, how are you? My name
No, I'm Cooper. Then I would have said, "Hey, when When you making this decision?" What are the factors that are you're going to decide? And then I would explain to them how I solve those factors that the decision and why that I'm the perfect fit and oh, you've already hired your people.
let me come shadow.
Is there a way Yeah, can I start tomorrow? I'm available. Or is there a Oh, you're already full. So then he gets they're full. I said, "Cool. And is there a waitlist for employees in case something happens? Could I just put my name is there a physical place I can place it?" So I said, "Son, the secret to life is you got to want it more than the next person."
Sure.
Everyone will do whatever it is. Send up the form, call once, right? It It's just that's

1:13:24the way life works. And so, the way I teach ownership is you decide the outcome. How bad do you want it? And you have to want it more than someone else. And so, I mean, I I have other ones, but I just thought I I think it started letting them experience Oh, I applied it, didn't work. Well, what did you do?
Micro failures.
Yeah, he just It's like a bummer. And then it's like, well, now and now he's working and I think he's going to end up getting the job.
Okay. That's so cool.
like, cool. Cool. Now, like he he when he went up there the weekend, I go, "Oh, happen If I were you, I would just happen to show up at the time the shift starts." And I might make the joke, just go over there. "Hey, man, I was just actually showing up for work today." And well, you don't work here yet. Well, I know, but if I did
Keyword, yet.
If I did, I would be here and then I go, "Never mind, I was just here to get some lunch." And that that'll that'll get noticed.
Totally.
Right? Just but be see the field, be a player in the game. I know you've got a a story in your parents. So, tell me how you how they showed you this.
The ownership one was interesting. So, when my I had an an aunt who passed away and she left us three, you know, it was my dad's sister and she left us an

1:14:28inheritance. And at first my dad had put it in some stocks and we had nothing to do with it. Uh but when he went and bought a property in Arizona, he said, you know, "Would you guys like to leave it in Coca-Cola or wherever it was in the stock market or would you like to be in partner with me in investing in this apartment complex?" Well, of course we want to be Dad's partner. Dad's awesome. So, we we had the opportunity to buy shares, of course, a B class share with no voting rights, you're familiar, in the apartment complex. And we were a little bit swaggy about it, if I'm being honest, Brett. Like, we would go down there with my dad and we'd be like, "We're owners, too." Cuz he he started with that language, like, "You we own this together. We're partners, too." And very quickly he nipped that in the bud. He walked, I'll never forget this, he walked me into the junior one bedroom, which is the smallest one bedroom unit you've ever seen in your life. The junior one bedroom, and he said, "What part of this do you think you own?" Oh, no, it was outside. He stood outside. He said, "What part of

1:15:30this apartment complex do you think you own?" And I was like, "I don't know. Kind of all of it. I'm just in it with you." And he said, "Come with me." He walked me into the junior one bedroom, and I was like, "Well, this thing's very small. If he's going to tell me I own this, this seems not great." And so he said, "What in here do you own?" And I was like, "I don't know. I guess I do. I own this." He said, "No, you don't." He walked me into the bathroom, and he looked at the toilet, and he said, "Do you see the toilet seat on top of the toilet? That is what you own, my dear. That is what you own." So, I went, "Oh my gosh, I own I own nothing. And I know nothing about how this place works. I don't get it at all." So, he grounded me really quickly in that. So, then fast forward, you know, five or six years later, my dad still owns the apartment complex, and I'm actually I'm you always joke I'm a to-go specialist at Macaroni Grill. So, I'm working to-gos there, and I'm
Which I think they're I just think they're just called carryout or takeout.
time, Brett, it was

1:16:32
And Katelyn makes it sound like, "Well, I was a to-go I mean, was I a specialist? Yes."
I was unbelievable. Yes.
it is the way you
In my mind, though, I really do think that was my title. I know you think it wasn't. I really do think we were one of the first pioneers of curbside.
See what I mean? You do this thing where you create fake titles that do not exist in
It was on Goldust. If anyone knows someone who used to be a part of Goldust and stock sale road
You gave me a title that I'm in facilities management.
You are in facilities management and you got to know where all the septic
I It's what I do. I do everything
I think a good title gets people fired up. So, I was a to-go specialist and basically, I don't know if you're familiar with a to-go specialist income. It's all in the title. There's There's really not a lot of income there.
Feels like mid-six figures, no?
So, we uh So, I'm working to-go's, obviously. I'm just I'm in school and I don't have two nickels to rub together. I'm doing the best I can. The envelopes, you know, they only get filled with so

1:17:33much money. And I got in a car accident. And I did not know anything about insurance. I mean, I was just really grateful that I could fill up my car with gas cuz that was, you know, part of my responsibility and a little payment I was making to my dad. But I never knew to ask about car insurance or deductibles or how any of that works. And so, I had a terrible car accident. I was fine. My golf clubs were also fine. Two of my dad's big questions. And they took me to dinner the next night and said, "What's your plan?" And I said, "I don't I don't understand. Someone needs to help me get to school. Someone needs to help me go obviously I'm I'm holding down this big career as a to-go specialist, but I don't I don't understand the question. Like, can I just borrow one of your and mom's cars until my car's ready and then we'll pick that up and then zip zip zoom, we're fine." And he was like, "One of our cars?" Well, do you have rental car coverage? And I was like, "I don't First of all, you can't even rent a car."
are you in this age?
17.

1:18:34
Yeah, okay.
Rental car coverage? What do you mean rental car coverage? How could I possibly have rental car coverage? I don't even know the words that are coming out of your mouth. He said, "Well, you can't use one of mom and my car I mean, those are our cars and you obviously already crashed the one you have. So, you can't use these cars." I was like, "I don't And then he said, "And then how are you planning on covering this deductible?" I said, "I'm sorry, cover What is a deductible? Can we start there, pops? Like, what what does that mean?" He said, "You know, you have a thousand-dollar deductible." I don't even I don't even know what a thousand dollars could look like, right? I'm again, a to-go specialist. And he says, "Gosh, if only you had an asset. Do you know what an asset is?" And I'm like, "Obviously, I know what an asset is, Dad." He's like, "Well, I don't know. You didn't know what a deductible was. So, maybe we need to ask what an asset is." He said, "If only you had an asset, could you list your assets for us?" So, I'm sitting there with my mom and my dad and I'm like, "I don't know. My golf club like what I don't know." And he's like, "You do. You have an asset. So, your shares in" and

1:19:37he named the apartment complex. I said, "Oh, that's right. I totally do." And he said, "If only you could liquidate an asset to cover your liability." And I said, "I don't I don't know what any of these things help me understand." So, he later teaches me and says, "What you could do is you could sell your shares that would give you more than your thousand-dollar deductible. It would be your thousand-dollar deductible plus some walking around money since you aren't really able to get anywhere."
wham.
And some wham. And this girl, I mean, we were living to-go tip from to-go tip. Like, I didn't So, I said, "Well, that sounds great, but how much are my How much is my asset worth?" So, he's willing to give me fifteen hundred. I find out it's worth We'll say ten thousand dollars for the sake of argument here. It was probably worth closer to twenty thousand, but he says, "I'm going to ten thousand dollars." And I said, "Oh, okay. So, you and mom you want Oh, so I said, "Who would buy my shares for that amount?" And he said, "Well, have you read your operating agreement?" And I said, "What is the operating agreement? Help me out." He says, "Well, if you read the operating

1:20:39agreement right here, the manager of the entity has the first right to buy the asset buy shares back at a predetermined price at the manager's discretion. Did you not read your operating agreement?" Now, who I am today, I would be like, "First of all, not legally binding. I'm like, you know, we could ratchet it up." But, I didn't understand at the time. So, I said, "Wait a minute. So, you're" And he goes, "Who's the manager?" And I said, "You're the manager, Dad. I get that now." And he says, "Great. So, the as the manager, I'm going to tell you I don't want to buy it. Would you like to talk to any of the other shareholders to see if they would buy it?" And I go, "Well, Roger and Lauren don't have any money." He said, "No, flip the page. Your mom's a shareholder. Do you want to go to your mom?" So, I flip over and I look at my mom, who's just one of the most business titans. She's so incredible. So, I looked at her and she said, "I'd be willing to buy it for $1,500." What? My shares are worth 10 or 20,000 dollars. She says I'm willing to buy it for 1,500. I said, "That's ridiculous. I'll go find someone else." And my dad says, "Nope.

1:21:42Only the other shareholders or someone who I will approve. So, either you have to sell it to your brother and sister or you have to sell it to your mother. They're the only people I will approve. We are not bringing outside capital." So, here I am held completely hostage because I can't get to school, I can't go to golf practice, I can't go to do my to go specialist, I have to sell an asset. And that lesson was absolutely one of the greatest lessons I had. What it taught me was ownership. When you own something, what does that actually mean? What are your rights in it? Is it entitlement or true ownership? Do you understand it? Number two, what is the valuation of your asset? What are your exit options? You don't have any savings, that's a pretty damn terrible choice, right? So, if you look at all the lessons that were wrapped up into that, it also was in an area I couldn't really fail cuz I came back years later to my parents and said, "How could you guys take advantage of me like this, you animals, right?" That's the attitude you want to have. And my mom looked me in the eye and she said, "I did the same thing to your

1:22:44brother and your sister. It's equal amongst all three of you and you all three will inherit it later. It was a lesson that I taught each of you independently." And at the time, right, they had this ability to put me on the side of a cliff where I would feel like I was barely surviving and they were always right there to support it even though they would make me feel like I didn't have an out on my own. And I think it made all three of us really, really strong. So, that's a crazy story.
That is um I think it's so good that that age to learn that type of lesson, right? Because out in the world, you're going to experience those same kind of things. You're going to have something that someone that you would the quick cash you can get maybe not the number that it's worth. I had such a I mean, I love those stories. I think they're so impactful. And our our listeners need to go create recreate that in those same age of kids. Mine's a little different. I'll give you one of my dad. It was It was the last day of school. I was 17 years old and everybody's got water balloons and you're throwing them, right? You know, as one does. And I threw one and it hit a windshield. I think it already had a crack on it.

1:23:47Spider webs the front windshield. It's a whole thing, right? So,
Your dad had to adjust.
Oh, so I got to go to the
Destruction of property?
So, $255. I don't have $255. So, my dad's oh, perfect.
where you learned how much a windshield was.
Oh,

instantly I learned yeah. I learned oh, I I could take care of that. We just we're going to have an agreement. You have to work it off.
Ugh.
I'm like, okay. So, I I knew what I earned. Um I I'm pretty sure it was below minimum wage and I should have turned him in for child labor laws, but I earned $5 an hour for the most brutal job on the planet Earth Caleb. So I get my first check I've worked 40 hours in a week. 40 * 5 is 200. I get my check it says $154.10. What's going on here? You told me it was $5 an hour I worked 40 hours. And he goes You're an employee here. Did you read your agreement? You well, you didn't pay attention so you filled out the form and you took the max allowable out of your

1:24:50So I've checked out the payroll boxes. I've done all this wrong cuz I'm a kid. She says yeah, that's what you have the max taxes taken out. So you have the $154.10. So you are going to need to work 2 weeks to pay for the windshield. Plus we'll call it three because you needed a loan. So 3 weeks of I mean covered in bean dust. I would come home covered in like our bags or the some beans there's a green hat. I would have green over my entire body and it's a little part of the bag cuz wrestling these 100-lb bean bags all day. And I was probably weighed 130 lb. The bag weighed almost 200 lb which I did. And I'm wrestling these bean bags all day. I mean you want to talk about a lesson working 3 weeks for a windshield that By the way, I wasn't the only one hitting cars with balloons. I'm just the only person that has an accountability like the machine that is Roddy Tanner. And so but it it taught me I I don't I'm decision consequence time. You know, when you're stared down like 90 whatever it was 120 hours for a 30-second act. Like that lesson There and there was thousands of things like

1:25:51this. But life had costs.
Totally.
And you're going to pay for them. And you're going to pay for it with work. And my dad My dad's lesson at that age was really um you want more than others work harder than others. And it was it was a The other one about ownership was I had work release out of school because you know, our school I think I've told you this we only went to school 4 days a week. The school didn't have enough of money to open on Fridays. So I never went to school once after 5th grade. I only went Monday through Thursday. I don't if I've told you that. And so, I would work obviously at my dad's factory all day on Friday. But, we like my senior year I got work release and there was a big controversy in the town because you couldn't go work for your family. And they didn't catch that I was working with my dad until a few weeks in and then the principal came over and saw me out there just
throwing bags of
Covered I mean and he and he's like, "I came down here cuz we just thought, you know, you're just letting him go home and he's like, "This is borderline. This is This is absolutely child abuse. Like bro he's like I I was like, "Yeah, you guys are let's turn him in. I'll I agree." But, it was just like that was just your you're going to work.

1:26:52
Sure.
And I'm like, "Dad, but everybody's dragging me, you know, why am I doing this?" And he's like, "That's just what we're doing, right? That's you want more than others, work harder than others." So, I
These lessons are so valuable though. Like they're they're really fun to sit around. You and I have, you know, had a drink and sat around and laughed about our crazy parents. But, they really have shaped the what our listeners what what what parents today have the ability to do and what they're able to shape is really people who can make an incredible impact on the world tomorrow.
It uh what we're trying to do, Katelyn, at the end of all this in the in the point of this episode is to create adults that can handle freedom.
Mhm.
And that realizing that money education's a long game. It's not like a one-time lecture.
Mhm.
And we go through those stories you and I shared for for our folks to go through it. And so, the the the little legacy question, Katelyn, at the end of all of it it's what are you actually trying to pass down?
Sure.
Is it just money? Well, that's easy, right? Any basic trust or or will handle that. But, if it's judgment, that's different. If it's confidence, that's

1:27:53different. If it's values, that's different. If it's perspective, that's different. Or is it my favorite word? Is it optionality? Uh do you want to give your kids options? Money without judgment's fragile and judgment without money still works. So, tying it all together, Katelyn, this is a wrap of our six-part Be Wealthy Money Framework series. And so we we started with where the money goes, we went to how wealthy people decide to spend their money. Then we go to what they refuse to buy. Then we went to what they overspend on. And then in last week's episode, we did how to build your personal philosophy. How do you spend money? What's the art of spending your money? Today was all about passing it on to your kids. Katelyn, we did it. It's another It's another episode. That's Katelyn Mitchell. I'm Brett Tanner. This is the Be Wealthy podcast. Please do us a favor. Leave us a review. If you've not already, leave us a review. If you have, we love you. If you have not, we want to love you. And we love you by you leaving us a review. Katelyn, and that was our first spew. Cole. [1:28:53]
If you have not left a review, we want you to cuz we want to love you.
Katelyn.
That's terrible.
Every every now and then you've got a bit that's so good. We'll see you back here next week.