You're One Relationship Away From a Different Life

0:00The higher you climb in life and success, the further you are from the standard deviation. Was the guy with 130 rentals that was climbing a mountain that I thought I was winning and I was just on the wrong damn mountain. I'm not going to accept your money. And I go, I'm not taking the check back. What if I told you, Katelyn, here's a coach that's crazy successful, but in his journey over 20 years, he's been divorced three times, has no long-term relationships, and filed bankruptcy twice, But crushed it. welcome back to the be wealthy podcast. i am joined by my co-host, Katelyn Mitchell, who saw me doing like crazy warm-up routine to just get the juices flowing. But Katelyn, it's good to be back in studio on a weekend doing the thing filming another Be Wealthy podcast episode. Katelyn, are you jacked out of your mind or what?
I'll be honest, I thought I was bringing a lot of energy this morning. I had a great cup of coffee, ready to rock, and then you came in here with a different level of energy that just has absolutely

1:02inspired me. I couldn't be more excited to be back in the studio on this Saturday morning. One of our favorite things in the world to do though, all joking aside, is exactly this. So, it's a great place to be, and I'm excited for today.
So, Katelyn, I want you to go into your time machine, close your eyes, and ready. It's 2005. Okay. Kaboom. a much younger 20 year ago, Brett Tanner was at an event. He had just got licensed at the end of that year. I was a real estate agent, my first year, and I went to this event and it had like 400 people. And Katelyn, back then, I did not know anything that there was like this whole self-help like industry movement where people would come together. Like I'd never really been to an industry specific event. Okay. It's in Phoenix, Arizona. Probably, like I said, three or 400 people there. Two people are on stage. Russell Shaw, one of the most dominant agents I would argue in the country ever. Uh, and another guy named Bill Ryan, great dude, awesome guy, huge business. So, I'm there, Katelyn. I'm 25 years old. I'm trying to figure out, you know, what the

2:05hell I'm going to do with my life. And I see Russell Shaw speak on this stage and the way he talked about success, money, um, wealth, sales, real estate, marketing. this guy was in a different league. Like the way he spoke, the clarity of thought, you know, I think we've all been there, Katelyn. You've been around that person where you walk in and you're going, "That one's different than all the others, right?" Like they
sure
I know they all put their pants on the same way. But when that guy puts But when that guy puts his pants on, he's one of the top real estate agents on the planet. So I saw that and Katelyn, you know, goes in my head, I got to get an hour with him. I gotta sit down with this guy right now when you're 25 and nowhere going to like the number one guy in your entire state and then probably in the country at that moment harder right so I didn't have a vehicle to do that and so about that time I was reading a book and I don't even know what the name of the book is but some of

3:08those books they just are titles more but in this book there was a quote it said the only difference between who we are today and who we are five years from now are the books we read and the people we And I looked at that guy on stage and I said, I know for me he's one of those people. He's one of those like we'll make a difference. So I thought, how can I get creative? How do I get him to respond? And the way I did this, I was like, well, if I send him something in the mail via FedEx and he's got a sign for you, at least has to open it, right? I call his assistant, they're not going to give him the message, right? Some kid wants to spend time with you, right? Not gonna go. So I'm like, "All right, well, I'll send something to his office. Signature required." And I put that quote in the letter. Hey man, I'm a new licency. All I want to do is sit down with the best in the industry and just understand what that looks like. What does it look like to be the best? I didn't even know what to ask, right? Like, and I put the quote at the bottom. The only difference in who we are today and who we are five years from now are the books we read in the paper and put in the mail. Two days later, my phone rings. Brett Tanner, Russell Shaw, I'll be at Houston's tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.

4:11Don't be late. You have 1 hour. Click. And I'm like, whoa. So, Katelyn, that's the teaser. Okay, we're going to come back to where that story, but that lunch altered my entire career. And so, today's, you know, today's episode's going to be a little different. And what I want people to understand about that story, right? First of all, inside of that letter, I guess I should have included this, was a check for $500 to the charity of his choice.
So, there was a $500 check. And by the way, that's 20 years ago dollars, right? Um, and so what I was doing when I did that, Katelyn, I wasn't buying his advice, I was investing in a relationship that I didn't yet have, right? I was a 25year-old hustler. I didn't really know anything, but I knew if I could get around people that were great, things would change. So that was the premise. And so, as we go into today's episode, I want everyone to hear that there's three relationships that you have to have in your life. You got to have them. You got to have somebody who's ahead of you. Someone

5:15who's already traveled where you want to go and can light the path and make your journey easier, right? You need a coach. The next relationship you need in your life, Katelyn, is you need a peer that's on the same journey as you. So, this isn't your friend that goes out and gets hammered with you and goes and plays disc golf. That's a different
This isn't This isn't that person.
Different type of pier. Different type of pier. this isn't the peier that you call and complain about stuff, okay? It's not that. This is a peer who you're going to the top of the mountain, they're going to the top of the mountain, and we're going to relate to each other on the journey of success.
Okay. Third person you've got to have in your life, you've got to go and pay it forward. You've got to find that person that you're lifting up. You need a mentor, an apprentice, someone that you are lifting up along the journey. And how I found these, Katelyn, is after doing about 10 I added it up recently. I don't know if you know this stat, but I have done over 10,000 hours of

6:17one-on-one coaching in the last two decades. One-on-one. I've spent over 10,000 hours on a cell phone literally where all I hear is someone's voice and the challenge or opportunity that they want to throw out. We work on that and I've been doing that now for 20 years. I've been coaching.
Wow. And so what you know at one point uh I was coaching four of the top 10 agents in the entire country and and I say that not to brag but I say that you when I look at all of them and I look at the top performers the people that are exceptional. Again those people came to put their pants on the same way as everybody else but when their pants get on they do radically different things. They all had the three relationships. Every one of them has had a coach. Every one of them's got a peer that they go to who's gonna, you know, help them fight that wall. And then they've got the person that they're lifting up. And so I'm not preaching on some mountain top here. I'm going to give you my my coach. So my coach for 15 years has been the same one. It's Gary Kell. Now it's the

7:20one coach you can't pay because why, you know, when you how would you pay a billionaire? What? I don't know what I would pay him. All I can pay him is in is in love and appreciation. Um 15 years though I've been with with him and I'm still in the same room. Still still literally sitting there like it's my first day. My second person my person that's on peer on the same journey uh didn't start that way. I would argue we started in a coaching relationship but today that's you. So Katelyn you are my peer that is on the journey taking the mountain that understands the struggles and well some of the stuff we're talking about today the loneliness of being a one seat.
Sure. and all that, right? That you've got you and I are peers so we can call each other at the end of the day and talk about the challenges, the opportunities, the wins, the losses, the pains, the struggles, right? We can go through that.
Absolutely.
And and the person I'm lifting up today is Cole, who runs our podcast, does a lot of our social media and does what he likes to lovingly call and air quotes technology. I put Cole not only I mean I've been a

8:22mentor for him, but I said, "Hey, I want to coach you and I'm going to put you through my format." So, like he's on my roster. I coach him, right? Same way I coach anybody else. And so, what I think's different about our show, Katelyn, is that it runs on receipts. We actually provide the actual data and the truth. We don't have to spit up some lies and crap from the internet that has no data backing. Everything we say is something that we do in our companies or something we've researched and we've tried out in the wild and it was a true statement. Okay? I'm not saying we don't fail because I got a whole list of stuff that we're going to cover about things that didn't work, right? And if we were to do a podcast, Katelyn, and all the things in my life that we did that didn't work, every episode, every episode would be days long. Um, you know, so it's coaching and having these relationships will change your life fundamentally. And and I want to jump into that. I think about a quote, Katelyn. This comes from Frank Shamrock, one of the early UFC guys. By the way, I'm I'm into

9:24the UFC today. You know why I'm into it? This will probably be really controversial. I love Dana White. I like that. I like that guy. I think he's a little bit of a lunatic. Sure, like we all are. You have to be a lunatic to reach that level of success. But what I like about the guy is he is his authentic self. There is not anything being held back in that human. Right? Dana White is the real deal. Love or hate him,
he's a lunatic.
He is who he And so the one guy early though, the the Frank Shamrock early UFC says trained fighters on a system called plus minus equal. And it kind of goes to what we're talking about. So when you think about coaching those three relationships, you need someone the plus is someone better than you. The minus is someone you could teach and the equal is the peer on the journey. You know, and there's been tons and tons of conversation around this. I think the greatest quote I could think about when you think about these relationships is something that came from Gary Keller and he said it a million times but the time

10:26that I heard it the loudest was when we were at dinner and I said if you could only give one piece of advice to your 18-year-old self what would it be and in true Gary fashion he instantly said I have two pieces and I said well the whole game was one and he said I'm not playing the game I said okay fair enough sir I mean I just made up 11 minutes
Gary Keller
he's like I don't have to give you one just because you tell me one. I'm going to do two. And he it was uh no one succeeds alone, right? No one succeeds alone. And the second one,
what he meant by that?
Um sorry, what was the second one?
Well, the second one was you fail your way to success. You don't succeed your way to success. But no one succeeds alone. What he means by that or the way I hear it is that in every great success, there were always two people
at least. Let's use let's use um let's use Disneyland. Okay. Walt Disney artist, genius, visionary. Without the brother Roy, it's over, right? Like it would have never came to be. If you look at Bill

11:28Gates, Bill Gates was crazy successful guy. His biggest problem, he did not have someone on the journey with him. He had a bunch of employees, but he didn't he he goes, "I need someone in the trenches that cares as much as I do." And that was
someone equally yolked, to use the phrase I like to say. Katelyn loves the word equally yolked. Um, and I got we gota we got to unpack that in another episode to know where that comes from. But Bulmer came in and he had a guy like that, right? And you look every like if you look at Google, if you look at I mean if you look at Steve Jobs, right? Like they there Jobs and Watts, right? Like you everywhere you look, no one succeeds alone. And what Gary would say is we all need people more than they need us, right? The myth is we don't need people, but we all we need them more than they need us. And my comment that I make to clients a lot, right, is you're one relationship away from radically changing your entire. You're one relationship. One relationship. And whether that's someone just saying, "Hey, Katelyn, up

12:31ahead the water, you know, the road gets a little weird. Bank left at the tree." Or you're that one person who It could be a therapist, Katelyn. This can be I mean the one person in your life that solves the biggest unlock for you, right? It could come in any in any way. And so when we go through this episode, what I what I want everyone to realize is the quote that you hear all the time, which is we radically overestimate what we could do in a year. We all say one year I'm going to be here. And I would tell you as human beings, I think we're way over optimistic. We're way too optimistic. And yet for some reason though when we go to five years we radically underindex it. So like one year we're like I'm going to triple my business but then in five years I'm going to 5x it. You're like well hold on if you could triple in one would that be 15x and f? Like it doesn't make any sense. And so as humans we are programmed that somehow the results we get will slow down in the future over time. I think that's our brains and how it's wired because we think as people very

13:34sequentially, right? 1 plus 1 equals 2. And then sadly and and luckily this is the benefit of going to the poorest education in Colorado from a public perspective, Katelyn, is I didn't actually know what 1 plus 1 equal. And so I would write down like 11 and they would just say that's that's right. And what they didn't realize is I was right because Katelyn, when you and I work together, we do get more done than two people. 1 plus one does equal 11. So Dove Creek High School, you were wrong. 1 plus 1 does equal 11.
Creek.
Eat your Eat your heart out. I won't say my teacher's name. Um I won't
No, probably not. Let's not put your teacher on black.
I I I I I won't. But I did, in fairness, when I had a pig farm back in Dubree, Colorado, I did name the pigs after my least favorite teachers. Um I did do that. I did. know that
it it it was yeah I would call him I call hey come here come here come here I won't say the name but it was uh it was kind of my little just internal joke

14:36that no one else knew so Ken I want to walk you I want to go back to the pier my earliest uh version of this peer relationship okay so this is a mastermind group that I was a part of people asked me what was the greatest group you're ever a part of it was called it was in Gary Keller's room was it was 20 people that were hand selected by him and it was called the pirate group and it came from an old quote by Steve Jobs. And so in that room, right, he led it, Keyn, but everyone in that room was on the same mission. We were peers trying to become the best real estate agents on planet Earth, right? Like that was the mission of that room.
And I'm going to tell you every So I look at that and that like my favorite peer from that time frame and we did an episode with Tim, my good buddy Tim Heyl, right? in the the craziest part of this room, if you looked at the people in that room, the 20 individuals, and this is like we're going back. This is like right at like 15 years ago, Ken, if you were to grab every single person in that room, you would go, "Holy I mean, all their careers are massive, right?

15:38They're all crushing it." It was every quarter and came into the room. Gary stood at the front of the room and he taught and we went and
they were truly the best of the best in the industry. They were truly the best of the best. They won every possible production uh metric uh throughout the entire country. They were on every stage teaching every possible class to try to help everyone around them and then you all came together in a room as peers
and there was I mean 100% right everyone was world class at what they did right they were you know that was a year like I was number nine in the country for total units sold in a year and so I'm not say that to I'm just saying that and like I was not number one to be really clear about that. I'm very the the guy that was number one was in the room, right? And you would if I had said his name, everyone would know it. And so that room though I learned more in that. And by the way, you know what the room

16:41cost?
Zero dollars, but you had to be the best in the world at what you did, right? Like you could room
you could not there was no check you could write in this room. But we came together every quarter, every single quarter for two days in a room taught by a billionaire literally on where do you want to get in your life? Where are you at now? What are the steps that we need to put in place to get there? Right? Think massively big, start small, right? All these lessons from Gary. And what was amazing though, Katelyn, everyone's on the same road. And when you have this, the reason why this peer I want to anchor the point for our listeners and viewers, you got to have this person. You got to have someone you could call and say, "How did you solve that problem?" Like, you know, I've got a problem in my marketing department. Cool. What are you doing? Let's break it down. Let's talk. Right? And you anything you needed, it was a phone call. Pick up. Here you go. Email. Here's all the documents and everything you needed. Let me know if you need a connection, a friend or whatever. And so

17:44
people got to realize Caleb, they they got to have this.
Well, the cool part about that room and ironically and and you know, as we sit and talk about this, that's also one of the ways that I got into deeper relationship with you. I had the opportunity uh as an employee at KWRI to shadow and help put on some of those events, not from a you know, I hadn't been through the journey. I was there to serve all of you. And the really cool part about that was seeing what actually happened in the room. So you had all of these top performers, 12 to 20 of them, handpicked by Gary, who naturally were incredibly competitive. Right, Brett? I You are one of the most competitive people, number one in your market, number nine in the country. You naturally want to outproduce everyone. You want to be the absolute best. So now when you handpick and bring these lions into one room and you have the head lion, right, Gary leading the group, the tone upon which he set that group was the coolest thing.

18:48Somehow he created an environment and you all created the environment with him where we weren't competing against each other. All of the sudden it was us against the world. How can we bond together to sharpen each other's tools to create shortcuts for each other uh by telling someone, hey, watch out, trees up ahead, right? How can we protect and promote each other to all go out and do better together? So, when you get into the right peer group, you should know or when you have the right peer, they're the accountability component that is helping you to get stronger, to get faster. They're not competing against you or tearing you down. There's two different types of peer groups, right? There's the peer that I want to stomp and then there's the peer who's right behind me pushing me to go faster to keep up with them or helping me to motivate faster. And that was the coolest part. You took call it 12, you know, you used the term earlier, but like maniacs, like really aggressive, strong, smart, wildly intelligent producers and created an environment

19:53where they promoted each other. I think that was the coolest possible thing to witness.
You uh you're so right. It the thing was you were all we were you know in other words competitors prior to walking in there even though we were you know correct firm
but when you went in there everybody laid their sword down and was like to your point no we're going to the 20 people in this room are all going to win together
and we're going to be what when you look at it was there anything else that stuck out cuz you know you got a front row seat like at that point in time you and I were friends but you know I was in there just trying to you know just live every minute of Gary's is great. Like I just I didn't want to miss a single thing. Anything else you saw in that room that you think is interesting?
You know, I I there is um being able to sit in rooms like that was one of the greatest gifts early in my career from an administrative standpoint. I was there to support, right? But how cool is it to be a witness in a front row seat to like literally the arena, right? It's these absolute uh soldiers and stallions

20:57getting into one room and and fighting to get better. And the coolest part I'll tell you is what it reminds me of when I reflect back on it. So the same when you were in that room in that pirate group, the energy that existed in that room was absolutely crazy. everyone was on the front the front of their seat and the voices would get louder and louder as people would get more and more excited of what you were working on with Gary. So there was this like pbble energy like you could feel it. It was in the air and it was there was so much um thirst and desire to grow. And so there was a lot of you were younger males to be candid. And so there was just this aggressive but supportive energy in the room and you would challenge Gary's ideas. You would challenge each other and um it was it got hot sometimes. You know talk Tim Heyl and you oh you having two opposing ideas Gary in the middle how he you know the wizard that he is. How did he keep

22:00that room in a positive way? It was it was amazing. But I'll tell you what it reminds me of. Do you remember one of our right after co we had that mastermind at uh Sherin Wild Horse Pass and I know exactly where you had 12 people in the room and I'm so protective of you and of our people. You had 12 people in the room.
You were explaining an entire process of uh it was promisory notes. We were talking about investing in debt and literally one of the members got up, stood up, went around, we were in a U big U-shaped all and it was a huge room because we all had to be six feet from each other because it was the middle of co and he stormed up to the front of the room, ripped the um uh ripped the marker out of your Hand out of your hand and said, "Brett, I don't think you understand." and he ripped the page off and just started writing what he thought the model would be. And it reminds me so much of the parallel of the aggression in one room to the other. When you're in

23:03the right room with your peers, you're sharpening each other's sword asking the questions. It's not where you're just sitting back and taking a ton of notes. You engage in such a way because you're with a pack and you're with either whether it's one peer or a group of peers. the energy that starts to exist is a a chemical reaction that makes you do more and be more. So, back to like your Dove Creek math equation, that room, the ideas that come out of that, whether it's two people or 20 people, when it's the right one, it forces you to do more and be better because of that friction being in a positive way, not a negative way. Um, and so I didn't really think about that until we were just talking now when we were describing the room. I'm like that's the room we have so often and it's so fun that we get to create that for people too.
Well, it it your analogy is so right and I'm going to use the words that what what creates that room is really if we break it down is accountability. So you think about it right in that room

24:06in Gary's room or in that room you described in co when you said you were going to do something in that pirate group and you came back the next quarter and someone go like hey man hey Tim
you were going to do this did you do it if you said no
you talk about here accountability bro what are you doing
are you not taking this ser I mean you got just lit up are you going to commit to do it or not do you not want your goals like it GOT
Out of support out of support. that's the difference.
All out of love, right? The love was just, dude. Dude, if you're going to say it, you got to do it. And you you got called out. And that's what peer accountability does.
They hel they hold you accountable to what you said. Even when the day was hard,
right? When you when you woke up in the morning and you got excited,
when the day was over, you lost a couple battles, right? Your batteries drained and you're like, you know what? I'm not gonna I'm not going to get to there today. And the pier goes, "Yeah, you are like, call me. Let's do it together.

25:08Let's go." So, totally different game. What were you gonna say? I was going to say, do you remember a couple maybe it was like 10 or 12 years ago, we were laughing about, you know, people that like falsely support each other and it's like they're not really pushing each other. And I don't know if you remember this, but it was uh we were down at the market center in Tempe and we were laughing and we were using the phrase accountability buddy. Like you're not an accountability buddy. You're a peer accountability partner. Those are two very different things. An accountability buddy is just someone who's like, "Hey Brett, glad to see you here." And a peer accountability partner is like, "Brett, you said you were going to update your balance sheet on the first of every month. Did you do it? It's the second. Did you get it done?" Awesome. Well, there's there's no buddy in accountability. Okay, I'm just the buddy is not in there. But so, think about it. So, when you have a here's the here's the trap we all have in the peer game, Katelyn, and you just alluded to it, which is where do you go when you have a problem, right? So, you need to go to this pier. Now, now the question people go to one of two people.

26:10
They go to that welcome ear. Oh, you're having a hard time managing, you know, hiring an assistant and you don't have one. Let's call someone that also doesn't have an assistant who's having a hard time hiring one and let's commiserate on how much people suck, right? But that's what people do, right? The welcome earier. That's the least thing you need. What you need is the person who's had a world-class assistant for 17 years who could show you, dude, here's how I did it. Because I hired people that were annoying and hard to manage or whatever, and yet I've managed to build beautiful relationships that are win-win and structured to last decades. That's the call, right? So when the call when you're making, right, is it does it feel like community, but it's really just anesthesia? We're just numbing it.
So it feels, hey, let's just numb that up, Katelyn. It'll feel a little better. No, but tomorrow, right, you're in the exact same spot.
I think that that support and that peer accountability can look two different ways. Um, I'd even say it's similar to you're in and my you always go like our

27:14approach is different, but we always get the result. Your approach on peer accountability is dude, you told me you were going to do this. You said you were going to do it. You made a commitment and yet I mean it didn't happen. So, help me understand where we missed. Right. Did that sound
My favorite phrase you just used for 15 years.
Help me understand. I'm very confused. Yeah. Favorite. My favorite my favorite phrase.
If you need help in your business right now, you've got a challenge or an opportunity that you really want to hone in and capitalize on it and make a gamechanging breakthrough in your business. Come out to our one-day workshop. This is something we've never done before. We're now doing them at the resorts we've bought. So, they could be at Apple Mountain, Georgia. They could be in Northern Arizona. Um, they might even be in Bise in the future. But, you get to come to a one day where there I'm not going to present slides. It's literally you and your business and you're going to leave with an action plan you can implement in your business. Go to bewealthypodcast.com and you can click on our upcoming events and see where we'll be and book to come. We have the room is limited. We have no

28:17more than 15 people in the room. Go to bewealthypodcast.com and you can book our one-day workshop coming up.
So, Katelyn, there's a bunch of myths in the coaching business I want to take you to.
Okay.
And there there's stats and what I love is doing this research. by the way, it takes me way too long, but I love the research because I find it fascinating, right? So, when we think about the coaching industry, right, I want to walk you through the stats and the myths and half of it's fake.
You go on a coaching, you go on to any coaching site right now, you're going to see the quote I'm about to give you. It's on every sales page on the internet. It reads like this. According to the American Society of Training and Development, who's that? But anyway,
do you have the the voice? Yes, they do.
You have to according to the American Society of Training and Development, you're 65% likely to complete a goal if you commit to someone and 95% likely if you have a specific accountability appointment. Here's what we found looking into the research. Katelyn, you

29:18ready? That study never existed. There's no paper. There's no samples. That is just words plastered together said by the American Society of Training and Development. The organization's real. The study doesn't exist. Every citation like dead ends in a blog citing a blog that's on it's back links to another blog. Okay, it's just a madeup number with an organization stapled on it. Okay, that's myth one, right? So, not true. This isn't that accountability is bad. I'm just saying some of the stats. As a coach, you and I are in the coaching and training business and we're known for being truth tellers, right? Number two, and everyone's seen this one. I know you've seen this one. Harvard and Yale depending on which that is and by the way you just sub in the if you want Harvard or you want Yale doesn't matter because the study never existed anyway I found that 3% of graduates who wrote down their goals were worth more than the other 97% combined wow right based I mean great and by the way I'm a huge believer in writing your goals down I'm just not a belie like we just can't sell it through illusionist

30:24okay fast company chase it They went to 1996. Yale checked its own records and on the study of the class of 1953, it never took place. No study, no class, no research. Okay. The the one researcher who actually did run a real goal study, and you're about to meet her here in a minute, she opens by calling the Yale study the urban myth. Okay. So, that study's wrong. So, is accountability real, Katelyn, or is it just a sales page? Right. Now, here's the real study. The irony, Brett, the irony of accountability things, like the most commonly used accountability quotes across the world are all false is absolutely not lost on me. That's so funny. It is so funny.
Isn't there like a quote out there like right like all stats are like made up, right? Cuz you could skew any stat.
98% of all stats made up,
right? Six out of five people prefer the Be Wealthy podcast. So it so they're ready for the real study. Okay. So is

31:28accountability real or is it a sales page? The real study was done by psychologist Gail Matthews at the Dominican University of California. She ran the experiment properly. Okay. She recruited 267 people. 149 finished. These were working adults ages 23 to 72. Split into five groups. Four weeks to go after a real goal. Okay. She actually did the work. Group one, all they did, Katelyn, they just closed their eyes and thought about their goals. All right, just thinking about it though on the they had a 10-point achievement scale, 1 to 10 on levels of achievement. They were about a 4.3. Okay, if you just close your eyes and just think about your goals, just like, oh, right, but just thinking about what do I actually want? Holy cow, you could do that anytime in your car. What do I actually want to have happen at this meeting, for this year, for the next five years, for my life, in my marriage, as a father? Right? You could just asking your goal. 4.3% just asking the damn question.

32:31
Sure.
Next group. Next group wrote the goals down. So, from your mind, same thing you're thinking about. I'm just going to write it down. And though I was just wrote out the actions and sent a weekly progress report to a friend, which I'm going to use the word peer,
okay?
Wrote it down and just said, "Katelyn, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do this." Send it to you. 7.6 on the achievement scale. So, what do we learn from that? Thinking of the goal. Great. Writing it down. Good. Writing it down and sending it to someone else that you've got to look them in the eye and be accountable to. doubled doubled nearly doubled the results on this 10point achievement scale and so that the data you see where they go roughly 43% versus 76% writing it down and sending it I always miss though I feel like they drop off the end send it to a peer right you hear that if you write your goals down versus think about them it doubles not true that's doesn't count it's you got to write and send

33:33them to your peer right so write it down commit to actions report to people. You literally not 95%. There's no 95% of achieving your goal. That's all made up and crap. But you can go from zero to 76% which is pretty damn good by just writing stuff down and sending it to someone that you care about, right? That's on the same journey as you. Isn't that does that blow? Like isn't that wild, Katelyn? How simple success is though? Like we all get lost and there's in infinite things we could do.
Figure out what you want in a goal. It's hyper specific and we got to have the way that goals are done, right? They got to be smart goals. All that stuff. Write it down. Find a peer. Your odds of success go up dramatically over your peer group. How much time does that take? Not a lot. The hardest part of it will just be hanging out with your buddy, which if you have the right peer like you and I, the reason why this podcast is so fun to do with you, cuz you and I do this offline, like this is what we do when we're in a car. We're talking about
We just happen to be recording it.
THAT'S RECORDING.

34:35
THESE ARE THE conversations we're going to be having. These are conversations we're already having. All right, so I want to walk you through the next one. Okay, here's the next step that's real. There's these two economists and this is the quarterly journal of economics 2018. They took 2800 small businesses in China and randomly assigned 1,500 of the owners into groups of about 10. Okay, they had monthly meetings one year. The other group, the other 1320 people, they got nothing. That's all they did. No curriculum, no guru, no structured peer meetings. Okay. The result, the peerroup businesses grew revenue about 8% more during the year and about 10% the the year after the group stopped. Profit hiring, borrowing, management practices, all up. The effect persisted after the program ended because the relationships persisted. Random assignment, a peer group study, measurable money. So you look at that just being in the room with your peers again, peers on the same

35:40journey as you outside of the structure meeting like or like outside of like a presentation or whatever. Katelyn, you and I have a relationship. So when the group's over, we still have connective tissue and we can win. Like we still are there. Isn't that cool?
It's unbelievable.
So third step. Okay. It does matter, Katelyn. The peer group can't just be any group of humans, right? Better. So, so the Harvard Business School randomly assigns students to sections. Okay. You're in a different section. You're going to sit over here. So, these two economists, Lerner and Malmendier, I'm going to go with that. in 2013 found that being in a section with more entrepreneurs made students less likely to start companies later. Think about this entire
the entire drop was in the unsuccessful ventures.

36:42If you were in the group that you got assigned to, your section was successful. You started more companies.
Wow.
Because you saw because you saw your peer do it. And if your peer does it, it becomes possible for you. You sit in a group with people,
Katelyn, you set in a group of people failing, you watch them fail, you're like, I don't want to I don't want to fail like Carl. I'm not going to do it. So, think about this. Like good peers don't push you to start things. They talk you out of bad ones, right? So, there is positives in this, but also the group you land in matters.
Matters. It totally matters. And it it it shows up everywhere in life, right? Like when you read that stat, you're like, it makes total sense, right? I would have. Now I wouldn't have predicted like I would have said you put a bunch of people in a business college, you put them in a room of entrepreneurs, more businesses would get started. But then you take the sections and you're like oo this section happen to have more failure, people are out.
But it's also true that last part and you went over it quickly was good peers don't just make you start more things.

37:47Meaning, you know, we're all entrepreneurs, right? you have more ideas than anybody I've ever known. It's that you bring the ideas to the peer group and the peer group helps you pick out the best possible one to do versus starting 40 bad ideas. Let's fine-tune and pick the right one also. So, it's it's a double a double win of the way that that exists. I think that's really important that you get talked out of certain ideas because there's people who help you vet through it. your peer. If your peer will not tell you that your baby is ugly, you do not have you do not have the right peer though, right? Like you tell me all the time. I come again, I've got a when you have lots of ideas, I'm going to tell you 98% of them are going to be garbage. And there's lots of like this idea,
Brett, this idea cannot be executed on any planet, specifically the one that we're on. There's no way this can be done. Here's the 13. And I'm like, all right, next one. Moving on. Yeah. Like I really did that to me yesterday. Do you realize that? Yesterday you were pushing

38:49me and you said, "Hey, can you give me ideas of what else we would do with a specific building and you obviously know what I want to do with the building, but you're like, "No, we have to come up with more ideas, more ideas, more ideas." So, I put some thought into it, sent you some more ideas. And you said, "Faller, we can't make any money with those ideas. Those ideas are crap. Try again."
But you literally said, "I know you thought about it. That sucks. That's a terrible idea. Try again."
And my ideas, I also told you I have four ideas, too. and they also suck. So, I need your ideas and we need we need to like come up with enough and then pick the good one. So, last step, Katelyn, if you're a top producer, okay, out there listening, watching this, this one's for you. A leadership consultancy called RHR International, they surveyed CD CEOs, Harvard Business Review ran this in 2012. Okay. About half CEOs report feeling lonely in the role.
As a CEO, people say, you know, there's that quote that it's lonely at the top. I don't know where that comes from, but I can tell you the guy nailed it. The higher you climb in life and success, the further you are from the standard deviation, like from the standard human,

39:52right? So, if you just take average success of all the humans on Earth, as you become a one seat, Katelyn, your distance between the average and you gets further and further and to do that, you have to have behaviors that are so different than the average that you will feel lonely. It's an absolutely true thing. The further so what it makes the point why this is so important, right? You got to find the people on the journey because you're going to relate less to the people that want to be average.
Sure.
And that's just a natural part of the journey. So half the CEOs reported feeling alone. Of those 61% they say that their performance is hurt by feeling alone. among firsttime CEOs who feel it nearly 70%. So this is a consulty's review, not a peer-reviewed study. Okay? So I just put a pin in that. But if you're a top producer on your team, you didn't need a survey right now to know that maybe you felt lonely before. Right? It's not a feeling problem. It's a performance problem. And

40:56so this isn't a pep talk, right? This is anchoring the point, Katelyn, why you got to have it makes the point of you've got to have a peer group outside of your world. That again gets why you're different and you're weird and you're weird in a fantastic way. One way that society may not recognize your weirdness and how cool it is, but other achievers that are equally weird will recognize it and you'll have a great time. So, all right, Katelyn, I want to go. Napoleon Hill wrote about all this. If you go back to think I don't know when was the last time you read Think and Grow Rich.
Gosh, I will say it's almost over a decade and as you and I started talking about this conversation, I already went and I I looked on my bookshelf, you would think I would have had it in any of these shelves. I didn't even have it anymore. I had to go I just bought another version of it. So, it'll be here in a couple days.
Well, and as a good accountability partner, when do you think you're going to have that red by?
Probably by next Friday. I'm going out talking about it next week. So, that'll be perfect.
I'm excited to talk to you about it. That's great accountability right there. You see what she did? She committed to something and I just got that down. So he wrote it down and he had the idea in

42:001937 of the mastermind which is I think that's really cool that he like that that that word was that out there and his definition uh and I want to repeat it here. I'm going to read it word for word. Coordination of knowledge and effort in a spirited harmony between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose. Hill credited Andrew Carnegie, who's the guy that hired him to go do all this research. He credited Carnegie with the idea. Historians argue about that part. So, I'll just say he'll credit Carnegie and I'll leave it there. But the point of it is two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose. 89 years old. And that's the whole idea, right? That sums up peer accountability and having a peer on the journey. So, Katelyn, let's walk through how they should find them, right? How do you find what you and I have? And so number one, you got to find people that are on the same journey, not solving the same problem.
Okay? What

43:01
appear that someone the same journey, they're going where you're going, but they're not stuck where you're stuck.
Okay?
You don't want someone if they got the exact same problems as you. You're not like you and I. What I think is so cool about our our ying and yang is we have radically different skills.
Your and my skills are not the same and you're better at me at like nearly almost everything. I've just got this 2% that I just stay in because I'm really good at my 2%. And so, but that if you and I had the same skills and the same problems, it wouldn't be the best fit, right? If like, hey, you can't hire and lead people and I can't hire and lead people, Katelyn. let's sit down and you know
and not hire any people together
and not hire any people together right so we you know you should be unique in your experiences not like and I think that's the biggest mistake people make in a peer they're going to find a peer that literally is in the exact seat on the same destination but like in the same plot map right in terms of success

44:03so you got to you got to so you got to get out there next you got to get in rooms you're probably not going to find this person in your backyard you got to go to an event to a thing. You're not going to you're not going to you're damn sure not going to fire them on your couch and they're probably not in your city. Could be in your city depending on size. Odds are I would think I got to leave my city to find this person in my life. Right in the pirate group. I flew to Austin. Be in the event. Never missed one. Right in there chasing Gary. Hey sir, can I show up to watch you do anything? Right. Like I want to be in the that's how you know we joke it on other podcasts but you and I became friends because I was Gary's buddy who would show up and watch him speak and he was going to paint a wall. Sir, can I watch you paint the wall? I just need to be in the room and absorb, you know, all the genius of that mustache. I needed it and I would go wherever and these were paid. People paid to be there. I didn't feel like that was a thing for me. So I would just go in and then people tell me I had to leave and I was like, "Hey, you go tell you go tell him and see how it works out." By people you mean me. Um

45:07
and and by people I mean you Katelyn when you say Brad
you mean the room? Yes. That's
no no can do. Agree to disagree.
Um one thing I wanted to mention you said they may not be in your backyard or they may not be in your city. I want to point something out that I observed from you and from several of the people in that pirate group specifically and I see in our rooms today. A lot of them are from the same cities, right? Um I just talked to two guys from Nashville, right? They hardly ever hang out. They maybe see each other once a quarter, but now they want to go to the mastermind together, and they're going to literally room together, spend all the extra time together, but in your own city, you wouldn't. And so, there may be people geographically near you who are excellent. That could be. However, when you go to specific places and you go and have specific unique events where you're isolated from the rest of of your normal world, it allows you to become those peers where you never would have in your own city. You might have just, you know, grabbed a beer or seen each other at a a networking event, but you wouldn't have

46:11had that same peer relationship if you hadn't put yourself in the environment that would curate the peer relationship. So, I think that's a really important difference that happened to you. You said, "I don't know, you know, we have to travel all the way to Austin to to talk to someone who was literally in your same city who ended up becoming a really good peer partner for you for that phase of your life. Um, but you had to go somewhere else to curate the experience that would allow that."
I I that is the So, Katelyn, the the third way I think you can stress test. So, first one was they're they're on the same journey, not solving the same problems. Two, you got to go somewhere to get in rooms. Three, once you've got your peer person, if you wouldn't be able to travel to a random destination to spend two days talking about your businesses together, you don't have the relationship done right.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
I have not had a peer anywhere in my that wasn't like we went somewhere where we would lock ourselves in hotel like to go do that. So, if you're like if the relationship isn't there, you don't have this person. The last thing you got to

47:12do once you get a kill, you got to give the relationship a job. So, the first time you meet your your peer partner, you're like, you got to say these words like, "Hey, here's what I'm going to do by next month, and I want you to follow up with I want you to follow up with me on it. I want you to hold me accountable." You should say that to your peer, right? This, you notice that's when you ever when you're drinking a beer with your buddy with your friend, you wouldn't use those words, right? Doesn't mean that you won't become close friends. You're my best friend, Katelyn, you know that. But we started as we started as coach, employee, employer, right? We started that relationship
and then we become peers. You know, I you know, I was a maybe a mentor for you early on. Now we're peers. We are absolute peers in this journey together, but we hold each other accountable to our goals and where we're going.
Wildly accountable. Yes.
Very wildly accountable.
So the uh so a peer without accountability is a friend. Okay. They they prove this by this recipe on

48:15stationary bikes of all things. Okay, you ready for this? I want to take you to these the kinesiologists at Kansas State, Michigan State riders paired. Okay, if you're you're on your stationary bike, if you're paired with a slightly better partner where the partner's result depended on both of them, they rode twice as long as single riders alone.
That's incredible.
Think about that. Isn't that But isn't that so true, right? Slightly better than you and tied together. That's your peer, right? You and I when we were at Apple Mountain working side by side, we didn't never were squaring up ours, but your energy of you tackling your day and I'm tackling mine, right? Like we're just out there and everybody else thinks we're just two crazy people, but our energy together is fueling each other to keep going.
Absolutely. Absolutely. There's no question about that. And you're right. Everyone at Apple Mountain does think we're crazy and we have gobs of energy, but it was because we would go in our different ventures for the entire day. We kick off the day, what are you doing? What am I

49:17doing? We go in our different directions. We would work for 15 hours. And at the end of the day, we both felt incredibly fulfilled, energized for the next day, and like we got the crap beat out of us because we absolutely worked so hard to get it done. And we were so excited to share what we had accomplished with each other at the end of the day. And that was just one of the coolest. And Cole was part of that, too. It was so cool to go out there and really run, you know, equally yolked. I did it again. I got to drop equally yolked twice. That's two times, one episode. You're welcome. Be wealthy podcast. # equally yolked.
Thank good. But so I do want I do want people to get this part that came. I didn't pick you as my peer. I didn't go out of a crowd and be like, "Oop, that's going to be my peer 14 years from today." It started as we built a relationship. You build a relationship through accountability over 10 years. And that's the thing. It it it's the one thing people can't control, right? Is you got you've got to find you you can't it may not be in your backyard. You may

50:21have to go get it. And I will tell you if you do this right, it changes everything. So, we've given them the framework, Katelyn, on how to go find the peer, right? They've got a model. They know why it matters. They've got the research. Look, if you're out there and you're a real estate agent and you're having success, but yet you don't feel like you're successful. You're making $500,000, $700,000 a year. And you're asking yourself, where does the money go? I don't have the time. I've got I'm trying to be at home. I'm trying to be with my kids. I'm trying to have a big career. And you just feel like there's you're missing something. I think it's because you are. And if you come to our one-day workshop, you can see the testimonials on our website. Go to be balthyodcast.com. Come spend a day and let's show you a different way to play the real estate game that helps you hit your goals. Go to bwellpodcast.com.
Now, let's talk about the second relationship you need, which is someone you're lifting up, right? You've got the coaching of someone ahead of you, the peer someone beside you. This is the person you're lifting up. First thought here, if you cannot teach your system to this person, you don't have a system. Okay. I have always been coaching

51:27someone and not always formally though like when I say somebody I'm lifting up. This doesn't have to be a formal coaching relationship. This could be someone you're mentoring Katelyn. There's lots of different formats for this.
My wife relationship started.
This is how our relationship started. You mentored me for several years.
Still doing most situations.
I love My wife says, "Honey, you always have to have she calls it my apprentice. She said, "You always have to have an apprentice your whole life. You have to have someone that you're building up. And sometimes they don't even know that I'm doing it, right? Like it may not be like we formally said hi. I don't think I ever said the words, "Hi, Katelyn. I'd like to be your mentor." Right?
You just start you you you get attached to the person
and then you're interested in helping them improve the quality of their life. It just it's something that just happens, right? And you'll know when you find the right person because you tell them, "Hey, you got this problem. Why don't you go read this book and then come back and let's talk about it." and they go do the work and they come back and their life's better. It's really really fun. And so I love, you know, I love getting the person very very young because you can have an impact over a

52:30longer period of time. And so this isn't like the online mentoring crap that you see on Instagram or whatever. I'm talking about really like caring about people. Um, here's the interesting part. Katelyn, you see that? I love when I get that face. It means I'm doing something right. So here's what's interesting, Katelyn. when you're lifting people up, who benefits most, the mentee or the mentor?
At the end of the day, it's the mentor
100%. It's actually I'm going to tell you, I get more out of it than they do. I
I will tell you as a coach, which we'll get to later, I get more out of it than the person I'm coaching.
So,
but you're entering into it selflessly. You're entering into it in a way that you're pouring into them because you like the person, you care about them, they came, they ask questions. I I hear you say this all the time when I see you working with is is your wife calls it your apprentice. They take action immediately and that goes ding in your head. You see someone and you go your phrase is baller. You took a way to take action right away. Way to take quick

53:32action. And then that starts you get excited about that person. You're not doing it necessarily in the way to say, "Hey, what's going to be in it for me if I pour into Larry?" Right? You're saying, "Hey, I saw someone. They took quick action. I want them to keep going. This is kind of fun." It's when you look back two or 3 years later and realize, "Wow, me mentoring that person actually poured back into me in some really cool and incredible ways." But you're wildly selfless when you look at mentoring people. Oh, you you don't do it for oh, I'm going to get more out of it than that. You you don't that's just the side bit. You get that just by being a great human. So, I want to give you the one that I'm doing right now. And I think it's like again our show is about being transparent. Cole who puts on our podcast and does marketing and again quote technology. We came back from Apple Mountain and I said, "Hey, I want to add you to my roster."
Let's be let's just we have to tell we the listeners this. He calls it technology and we've embraced it, but we are wildly aware it is a slam against what he would consider our lack of

54:35technology skills, which were some of the best, Brett. I actually think we're really good at technology, but Cole has claimed he's quote unquote technology, and it is his backhanded way of telling us that he's young and we're old, that's it. But we're actually good at technology. It's his way to say we're old, and I don't care for it. I uh it is his way of saying we're old. And I will tell you though,
we made this so much better.
I have sat beside him side by side and I could tell you I wish I could do tech quote technology the way he does it. Right? Because like I get in there and then it's like Cole, can you just make it stop for me? Can you just make it stop doing the thing that it's doing? And I get it. I should be able to do that, but right now I don't have the time. So I added to my roster. Come back. So, but Cole, I add him to my roster. So, I was his mentor, like how that all worked. By the way, the funny story about Cole when we first started working together. He met me for a beer and I was leaving the next day to go to Nashville and he was like kind of wanted to be in

55:37this role and I was like, "Dude, here's what we're going to do. We're going to travel on the road. We're going to hit these two this two city tour and if I like you at the end of four days, we'll work I'll offer you a job. If I don't, I'll pay you for the four days and you're on your own." and he's like, "Okay." Guy just said, "Sure." Right? Doesn't even hardly know me. Fast forward, right now we're three years in and I'm obsessed with Cole. I love him so much and I want him to realize his potential. And so coaching, right? Like I literally it's about his goals, his life. This is one of my employees and I'm putting him through a formal and by the way he's on the same action plan that you're very familiar with. Victory challenge hot topic. We've got we know where we're going. You guys have scheduled coaching calls. You guys have scheduled coaching calls. It is a formal mentor mentee relationship that also has informal tied into it as well. You you run both of those tracks with him. Is that is that fair?
Uh beyond beyond the calls, he also gets the rest of like just you know cuz I'm all over you know projects and other he

56:40has other accountabilities just being an employee in the company. He has other things going on there. This is like so some might say well why would you put someone on your coaching roster? charge, you know, a lot of money to coach people. Why would you coach your own person for free? But see, you've got to have these three relationships. It's not just a shtick for the show. You've got to have someone you're pulling up, right? It completes the cycle. You've got to have someone lifting you up, someone that's on the journey, and someone that you're pulling up. And the pulling up might be, if I were to tell you, the most important. Everyone can help someone else. Everyone else can like someone else. You are someone else's Russell Shaw. You're someone else's Gary Keller. Every one of our listeners are. And so you you don't pay like you're there's no way I can repay what Gary did for me. Like I can't do that. There's no way I can repay what Russell did for me. The only way I can do it is by looking back and helping someone else, right? I got to like find my group. Like what would I do for Gary? I'm like, "Oh, hey sir. I'm going to send you some money." Like that's not even it was a fortune.

57:43would it doesn't he would even look at me like what like go help someone take the lesson whatever you got out of that and give it to multiple people and so you've got to think about it like it's it just completes a circle
you know you brought up a point so you are spending a lot of time working and mentoring with Cole right above and beyond just employment accountability and you said it it'll sharpen you and it'll help you and and I think you're about to go into a little bit because because we we've discussed this previously of how that happened. But in addition to that, Cole's also poured in to helping us in our skills in a different way. You know, we made the joke about technology, but I tell Cole all the time when we were at Apple Mountain and he sat with me and coached me and trained me on some things from a technology perspective. He changed my life. Like genuinely, I will tell you being in a relationship with Cole has changed my life in a way that I never would have had if if he wasn't part of our world. And

58:44
and how cool would it have been if you would have heard if you would have heard it a little sooner on the thing that he changed. But I didn't want to jump in there. Okay, that's just an aggressive accountability. Only we could learn.
Guys, reach out to me individually if you want to know that story. Brett is not telling the truth here. He held me back on the thing because he wanted to tackle it first. I'm convinced. unconvinced. But yes, Cole changed my life and I will always be forever indebted to the things Cole has done for me. Um, and that's because of
you pour into him. I work to pour into him. You're coaching him. You're mentoring him and it has is helping his life grow and in return he wants to pay that forward to us, which has been incredible, too. So, Cole, I'm not just saying that to kiss up because I know you're helping put this podcast together. I mean it. You've changed our lives.
He He is Well, here's what's also cool. our last mastermind, right? I said, "Hey, what you taught Katelyn and I changed our lives. Go up there and teach our people. Show them exactly." He goes to the front of the room. It's not like he's a lifetime speaker. And he's like, I go, "Dude," and then I, you know, I

59:47coached him a little bit on speaking now to go up there. So, hey, I'll coach your your speaking, not your content. Your content, you know, do what you did for us. The speaking is just be. So, he goes up there and crushes it. And it's so cool to see. And so that's your your you've got to have that. Who are you pouring into? And I want to go to some of the other benefits of doing this, right? So Katelyn, we're talking about the mentee. Now, why does having a mentee make you better? Because teaching, Katelyn, if I can teach it, it makes me better at the thing that I'm teaching about. Best way, everyone should write this down. The best way to get better at anything is by teaching. The reason for that, Katelyn, you cannot explain something that you don't understand because you might have it kind of tangled up in your head and I kind of do some stuff, but the minute you have to teach that process, it'll make you better because you've got to make it from random to sequential, right? Science measures this, right? There's this stat called the protege effect. Okay. In a in 2014 study, memory and cognition, they told a group of

1:00:49students that they would be tested on a passage. Okay? They told one group this. They told the other group they're going to have to teach the passage. Okay?
Okay.
The group that merely thought they were going to have to teach it. Okay? They expected to teach recalled more of it and organized it better. Same passage read by both groups, entirely different mindset. One group's like, "I'm reading and I don't care." The other group's like, "Oh my god, I've got to figure this out a way to organize this in my mind so I can present it to someone else." This study's been replicated over and over and over again. The 2019 metaanalysis of all these 28 studies found expecting to teach gives you a small boost, actually teaching it makes it about 70% 60% more. And the reason it works is retrieval, right? A 2018 study found the benefit only shows up when you teach it when you teach from memory. Reading your notes to someone doesn't count. You have to pull it out of your own head.

1:01:52
Ain't that cool? Like I think it's so interesting that you look at that setting. Now Katelyn, we could translate this to money. We could bend this back to money. If you can't teach your money system to someone else, you don't have a system. You've just got some habits.
Agreed.
Sometimes you might have great habits. I set I save X dollars per week and then I throw in this thing. Well, that okay, that's not a system. That's just like I save some dollars per week. Now, it might be I save the dollars per week, I sweep it up, I buy into this index, I hold it that, and then I'm going to move it over to this long-term asset, and I've got a plan that goes between short-term, midterm, and long-term investments. That's a wealth system, right? That would be a system.
I'll tell you,
where's that? I'll tell you who's the best in the world at this because they take a very complex uh concept and if you can take something very complex and you can boil it down to a model or something easy to share that everyone can grasp that's an excellent teacher and that also means you understand it at an incredible level

1:02:55right and that's Gary Keller he challenges you and and and all of his people to say if you can't put it on one page Brett, if it can't be on a one pager, that means that you don't actually understand what you're trying to accomplish. You don't get it. Keep working through it until you can explain it on one page. For Gary, it's usually, I don't know, a circle, a tri. I mean, how many times have we seen him draw that triangle? Because he understands it at such a mastery level and is able to teach it through a simple model. So, when you're able to teach in a simple model, it's fine-tuning your understanding of it to remove all of the one-offs, all of the friction and create the simplified version. And so, you're exactly right. If you can teach it in a way that's easy for people to understand in a simplified model, that means you really have sharpened and fine-tuned what it actually is.
It's um this is so good. I I want to think about there's there's another place people could look to mentor people. There's another place and I

1:03:57think that people overlook it. I'll give you an example is my kids.
Um I I have treated you know I've got now I've got a 13, 15 and 17 year old and that the two distant future that 17-year-old becomes 18 and the comment that I get from other people about my kids right like my my little dude just turned 13. you know, he was we were up at Pinetop. He literally walks up to the member, looks them in the eye, shakes their hand, and and talks to them, right? Like not like, you know, avoiding questions. He's he's actually leading the conversation. Hey man, how'd you play?
Awesome.
How'd you do? How'd you do on 17? What'd you do? You know, he's talking and so like he's like an adult. I go, no, we raised him as an adult. You talk to him, you know, you talk to him like, you know, in like I see, you know, grown adults talk to their adult children. want to call anybody, you know, not adult children, but like 10 to 14 year old kid. They talk to them like they were babies.
They talk to teenagers as babies, right? You know, and you're like,
I don't know, man. I we we we we're raising warriors in our house. And so

1:04:59the way you raise warriors is you make them adult. You talk to them like adults. You live in front of them and you be radically transparent about your success and your failure. You can mentor them through that. Isn't that what a mentor does?
Like when I'm on the call, I'm telling THEM, "HEY, DUDE, I'VE already been down that road. Let me just tell you this one path here. Let me just tell you my experience. It's valuable, right? So, you got to think like there's so many different ways you can mentor it. And the question that I want all the listeners right now to ask themselves, who are you pulling up?
Who are you lifting up? And if the answer is nobody, you got to change that. Right? There is a 22year-old in your office who would kill for an hour a month with you. So go add values to others. Values. Go add value to others. It will change everything. So Katelyn, we got to pause here for a minute. I'm going to be honest with you about where this episode's going and I don't want to just I don't want to leave anything left to be not radically transparent. Katelyn, I coach and you coach people.

1:06:01Okay, cats out of the bag. So when we go talk about the next role in your life is coaching. We are coaches. Am I biased by it? has coaching changed my life? All those things are true. Okay? The section I'm talking about is not so that you go out and hire us. Some of you should, but that's not what it's about. The point is you've got to have a coach. So, Katelyn, I want to jump back to where this started. My first coach, again, not paid, Russell Shaw. So, we started the episode with I sent him a check for $500. He says, "Show up at Houston's 11:00." I walk in the door. He comes barreling in there at 11. Huge personality. huge personality. Okay, he was a former
a former comic. He is hilarious.
So, we literally sit down. I've got a legal pad out.
We sit down and he literally goes first thing he slaps the check on the table. Says, "Let's take care of this right now. Brett, I'm not going to accept your money." And I go, "I'm not taking the check back." And he goes, "Cool. I'm

1:07:04going to frame it and put it on my wall." I was like, "I love that for you. you should donate to the charity of your choice, but do whatever you want to do. And he goes, Brad, I have really good news for you. But before I give you that, why are you here? I said, I'm here because I want to sit down with the best in the world at what you do, and I just want to see if I have what it takes. Like, I want to see could I in time become you, right? Like, I'm nowhere to get to the top of the mountain. I just want to sit down and see like like the again, we both put our pants on today, like you somehow, sir, have done more than everyone else.
And he goes, "Cool. I got great news for you. I don't know if I've ever told you this brother story. He goes, "You could write this down. You're going to make more money from this day forward because you met with me." And he goes, "The people I sit down with, they do that. Write that down. You're going to make more money." I was like, "Okay, I'm going to make more money." And you know what's crazy, Katelyn? When I wrote it down, I was like, "I know he's right." Just a guy telling me that, you're like, "Oh, I'm going to do that." Obviously, no plan behind it yet. This is just the opening statement. He goes, "Well, we got to we got to get

1:08:06through this in an hour." So he goes, "This your business card." And I won't cuss here. He cusses a little. He's like, "This is awful. This is the worst business card." He goes, "This is the worst business card I've ever seen." I was like, "Really?" Okay. And he goes, "Why is your picture on your card?" So this is now this is a different era of time. Okay? This is, you know, 20 years.
This is 2005.
He goes, "People remember pictures. They'll remember faces, not words. Put your picture on your card. There's four listing presentations. They're going to go back later. The other people won't have a picture. They'll look at you. They'll call you back. He'll get business. Change your business card. Like it was literally And he goes, I mean, this is we're there. I'm writing stuff out. He goes, "How's your uh how's your listing business?" Brett and I go, "Uh, strong to quite strong." No. I'm like, "Uh, I don't think it's that good." And he goes, "You know why? Cuz you're crappy at it. We've been sitting down five minutes. I saw how to make the most money ever."
How does
I was like I go I How do you know it's crappy? Like I I really He goes, "Yeah, cuz if it was better, you'd tell more people about it. You'd have more business. That's how I know it's crappy."

1:09:08Okay. How do I get better at it? Ready for his answer? Brett, you're a comedian getting stage type. You're going to go out to 54 sell by owners, walk in there, they'll all take your pitch. You're going to go in there and you're just going to pitch like your listing present like, "Hi." And you're going to do your whole show. And he goes, "At the end, don't even care what they say. Just close your book and walk out.
You're a call it a show. You're going to go do your show.
Put your show on.
You're not even trying. You're not even trying to get it. It's just a show.
He goes, "You're just you're going to do your presentation. You're going to hear it." He goes, "And here's what I want you to learn out of those 50. There's only about eight real objections. There's eight things that they could say and you've got to have a worldclass answer. The only way you understand those eight is by doing the 50 presentations. And when you get the eight, you come back to me and I'm going to tell you how to have a war. You're gonna" He goes, "Brett, you're going to get to the point where you're like, "Oo, I hope they throw out objection four. I'm waiting for it.
Brilliant.
Like that.
So then, so this this this goes off. He's like, "Take my here's my listing package. You can recreate it." He goes, "You can't use no hassle listing because I've trademarked it, but you can, you

1:10:09know, anything else you can take." And then he go I go, "Hey, this was another good just a zinger from him." He goes, I go, "Hey, I I don't know if I'm that passionate about real estate, if I could be honest with you, like the sales part." And he goes, "Yeah, again, because you're not good at it. Become the best in the world at anything and you'll find out you're crazy.
YOU'RE CRAZY PASSION.
Wild about it,
right? Like my golf game when I wasn't good, I wasn't that passionate about the game. I'm still not incredible, but as a single digit, you get
you get a single digit, you're like,
I'm very passionate about I'm extremely passionate. And so what I want people to get out uh of the coaching relationship he did in one hour Katelyn what a peer can do. He diagnosed me in 30 first of all the first 20 seconds he told me I was going to be crazy successful and he believed in me which is the best thing a coach could do for you right if they believe in you. He diagnosed it. He told me like dude it's not the market the story

1:11:10you're telling yourself. It's you. So why don't we we can't fix the market. Instead why don't we just go fix you?
Fix you. He he compressed time. What would have taken me a decade to learn, I learned in an hour, by the way. And he said it would be an hour. Two and a half hours later, we're drawing stuff on pages and and I mean, we became best friends. Um, then he showed me the path to get better. Go get the 50 reps, Brett. You're 50 reps short. 50 reps of of honing your skill. And so this was one where he didn't need the check. This was a coach that stood for years. I I owe my career to this guy. But like again, what did this actually cost me? I tried to pay $500, which is probably the equivalent of, you know, adjusted for inflation, 2,000 today. That literally experience it. It changed my life, Katelyn. It literally changed my life from sending it out. So coaching can radically change everything. Another one. Because when to be fair, it wasn't

1:12:13just one conversation though. You you wrote a check to get to one conversation. He poured into you. You went and took immediate action. He held you accountable to it. And then you met regularly for moving forward with next steps, right?
Correct. This wasn't a one-time lunch. You guys, you know, had a prime rib dip at Houston. This was
Oh, this became a coach.
Years of relationship. Correct.
He was my coach. I mean make absolutely my coach and so coaching comes in other forms. So I'll tell you one one of my coaches right was my dad which I I do this impression of him. He was a sex movie like this. My dad growing every get you know he would be you know getting on me about something I wasn't doing to his standards. And so I created the nutty, it was the nutty professor. That movie had just come out and I would I would respond to him in character of what I believe he sounded like when I heard it.
I bet that drove him wild. I'm sure he loved it as

1:13:14
it bothered him in a way I think you can't imagine. So I be like, everybody says eat healthy. I'm healthy. So like I would go, "Hey dad, I got a business idea." And same answer every time. Oh, he's got a business idea. He goes, "I absolutely love it." He hasn't even heard the idea yet. I absolutely love it. It's going to work. No question. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That's my dad's line, right? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You got to try it. And then I would do something and it would Katelyn fail miserably. And I'm like, this is the worst idea. Why didn't you tell me this? He like, see what did you learn, though? Here's the opportunity. Next time we do something, we'll take that. We'll use it. Next time be radically different. See, it's an opportunity. And I'm like, what are you talking about? THIS IS
THAT IS so great, Mo.
This is a colossal failure, right? So he he literally had all these maxims but like again I was being you know mentor coach that I was being coached then to think differently right and all of those and so now I want to go Katelyn in the coaching world I started paying okay Russell I was blessed Gary I was I got lucky that I had people that wanted to

1:14:16pour into me and a coach that I successor or hustle or eagerness was the entry fee not dollars. I coached a guy and I I'm going to use real names. Bill Hartin was building champions. He's a movement mortgage today and I like I think back about the lessons and how they just changed massive parts of your life. His whole thing is he taught me about people and his thing was you got to figure out how each person wins. How do you make it clear how they win and that their win impacts the organization and the organization wins? But you've got to boil it down to the individual. And he had a model for how to do that, Katelyn. So like he believed like if I if I ask you Katelyn, how do you win? If you couldn't articulate it, I failed you as a leader. And I think in too many organizations out there, right, people there their people have no idea how they win.
And I think what people love about your and my organization is that we're wildly transparent. And I just know that we aim them
this is your number, right? This is how we will measure your ability and your

1:15:19performance of the organization. and here's the ways you impact that number and that's the job. So he taught me that right it's your obligation to develop your people and you've got to help them hit their goals
their goals should get them everything they wanted for personally in their life.
Yeah.
Then by by achieving what they wanted personally in their life those goals should also impact the company right in a positive and that's where the alignment if the company wins and the employee doesn't it sucks. It's that it never should be built like that. Everyone has to win. And he had this whole thing. It's like it's your ship. And that's a they didn't write a book out of that, but like it's like Brett, you're you're in charge of the ship. You got to pour into the people because the the captain cannot be in every part of the ship, right? He's out there trying to make, hey, rocks are ahead here. We got rocks. We got to bank a little left, everybody. But that was a huge one. And then we both shared the next person, which I want to hear your one of your takeaways from him, but Mr. Mike Fleming. and he had this maxim and I don't think he created it but his spin

1:16:24on it I think was better than the original and what I loved about Mike is any idea had to meet the five M. So I was like, "Hey, I'm going to start a widget factory and we're going to sell widgets." And he's like, "Cool. Five M's, Brett." And I I I will do my impression of Mike Fleming because he's just he's got this incredible. Hey, Brett. Brett. Mike Fleming. Mike Fleming here. Give me the five M. I got to hear those five M's, Brett. And that's what I would hear anchoring my head. And it was Katelyn. Do you have the money? Do you have the methods, the manpower, the management, and the materials? If you miss any one of them, you're not in the game. And you had to have before you start anything those deals. And so a great like that model, Katelyn, today we use it at every business we have.
But again, that's that's a model, right? He understood it at the highest possible level. So he was able to coach and train and teach to it because he knew it. You have to make sure your coaches know the model and they have the ability to convey it accordingly.
So 100%. And so what the coach does

1:17:28though, Katelyn, like what? Like people listening this right now is like, why have a paid coach? Because why would you pay for something a smart friend would tell you for free? Right. That's going to be the question I think people are asking.
Sure.
Right. The answer, right? Your friend might tell you one time, but you're but there's no typically your friend there's not accountability around. The coach is going to hold you accountable every two weeks until you accomplish your goals and get what you wanted. And that relationship of accountability where their win is getting you to win, right? As a coach, the reason I do it, so yeah, people pay us money, but like it's not enough, right? There would never be enough money for that time. What the win is for the coach
is watching their lives explode in a positive way.
Absolutely.
It's like like a book costs $20, but that's not the value of book. No one really makes money in publishing unless you sell you know a bajillion their impact is what it did for the world and the people right Gary didn't write Gary was a billionaire and wrote a book isn't it like the money he makes in publishing

1:18:31is not a lot
relevant but why does he do it impact forever
so I've got a client um who is a standout on seat he's absolutely incredible you'll know exactly who I'm talking about um and there's nothing we talk about on our coaching calls that's earthshattering. There's not. He understands most of the models that we're going through, understands it conceptually, and he's a great executor. However, um, as we go through these models, I I'll give you the example. He has a commercial building in Chandler and he has about five decisions that he can make of of what to do with it. And so, as you know, his coach, I said, "You were at the last mastermind. We went through the it's the OCM meer model, right, of how to make a decision to determine all of the outcomes. And for about he would say this is like the one thing stopping him from moving forward in some portions of his wealth plan. Now, truth be told, he is already in our first year working together two years

1:19:35ahead on his wealth plan that he built at the beginning of this year. He's absolutely crushing it, Brett. Absolutely crushing it. He'll be at our September 15th event because he hit his goal. He's doing incredible. However, this one thing he somehow there was something inside of him that was stopping him from moving forward. And so he said on our coaching call two two sessions ago, Katelyn, I don't know. It's just sitting on the action plan, I can't get it done. I don't know what it is. I know how to do it. It couldn't be a more simple model for me to think through. It's the math isn't even that hard. Like, I don't know why I'm not doing it. So, I said, well, what do we have to do to make sure that we never have this conversation again? I don't want to talk about it every other week. I don't I want to get through this so we can do the rest of your wealth plan and it's my job to help you do it. And he said, "I'll tell you what. If I get on the next coaching call and I don't have it completed by then, I will write a check for $1,000 to the charity of your choice." And he said, "Tell me what the charity is cuz I want it to motivate me." So, he told me what the So, I told him what charity, you know, it's my aunt's charity, blah blah blah blah blah. He gets on the next call beaming

1:20:38excited because they're on Zoom, right? And he's like, "Don't worry, I've got it done." We walk through it. he has a simple plan moving forward. He's like, I'm just going to crush it. Like, this is so simple now. I just got it done. But it wasn't that he didn't know how to do it. It wasn't that he wasn't at the mastermind and then seen this model that we taught of how to think through making a decision specifically in in when you have a bunch of different options. He knew all of those things, Brett, but he needed someone to put their proverbial foot up his ass and say, "What do we have to do to not do this again? Dude, it's getting annoying. It's every other week we have this on the action plan." and then he got it done, right? I think it's those pieces and and you're the one who taught me and helped me with that and then now I get to help other people with it of that accountability piece. I think that's so important. It's not something randomly new someone's going to teach you. It's having someone hold you accountable to your journey and walk you through the models to make the best decisions for you.
It's crazy, Katelyn. The best people in the world
all have coaches, right? That person

1:21:43knew what to do in your example. Most people know what to do. I mean, most I would actually argue most people know.
Wait, wait, but you know, I But then there's like, but do we follow through on what we said? As humans, we're very, you know, likely to not maybe do that. What a coach does is they hold you accountable to what you said that you wanted.
Most of us make massive investments in our business, and some of those investments don't pay off. So, you can come spend a day with me for $997. You come out to one of our resorts, you're going to spend a day, bring your challenge, bring your opportunities, and let's work through it in a one-on-one coaching session. You're going to be in a room of your peers. No more than 15 people are going to be there, and I'm going to coach you personally to tackle your challenge and your opportunity. Go to bewealthypodcast.com to see the next dates for our event.
So, so Katelyn, let's go to the data around this because we got to go. So, this Katelyn, again, we sell coaching. So listeners and viewers should trust us least on this part, okay?
Because we're gonna give
because we're gonna give them honest answers, right? So here's a stat that our industry loves and why you should not listen to it. Okay? The coaches the

1:22:46coaching industry's own big client study by the International Coach Federation. They had PricewaterhouseCoopers run it in 2009. The companies reported a median return of seven times their coaching spent. Individuals about three and a half times and 86% of companies that could put a number on it said they at least broke even. Here's the catch, Katelyn. All that data is crap. It's self-reported. There's no control group. Clients were asked to estimate their own return.
Okay. So, the it's literally it's a survey, not about it. Anybody who says that Katelyn you're gonna make seven times your ROI blah blah blah blah blah. It's not gonna happen. Okay. I mean it could happen but like that's it would be just like a you know a broken clock that's right twice a day. Okay. It's so that quot and what's the reason there Katelyn? It's because it relies on you. Your mileage as we often say in our room all the time your mileage may vary.
May vary.
We I have clients that could show you probably a 100x return or more on coaching. And then I got some that would

1:23:50say I've had a client though that didn't get a return and it had nothing to do with me, right? It has everything to do with is the person willing to be held account. You have to be coachable in that. Here's another here's another stat peer-reviewed analysis. The 2014 Journal of Positive Psychology, okay, ran this study in Workplace Coaching. The overall effect 66 in the language of these studies, moderate to large. Here's the footnote of all of it pulled together. Biggest gains were performance skills by 6 and goaldirected self-regulation, which is a fancy way of just saying actually doing the thing you said you would do. Which, by the way, don't you love that language, Katelyn? Goalddirected self-regulation. Actually doing the thing you said you would do. And so it's moderate, right? So, this is just showing that like coaching in there does increase it, but it's not the 7x that the other studies talk about. It's definitely not 7x.

1:24:52Okay. Other studies say profit, you know, goes up 30%. You know, there's so there's so many stats out here, Katelyn, that I think are so wildly wrong. Here's where I think that you need to look and you go, I I think the Bill Gates quote on TED in 2013 does it best. He says, "Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast, or a bridge player." And and the question, Katelyn, so many people get is how can if I'm the best in the world at what I do, how can the coach possibly help me?
Don't you feel like that's an how would how do they do it?
And the best coach in the world doesn't have to play the sport as good as you. They have to watch you and get you to be your personal best, right? And that's what I think great coaching does. I don't need to like when I coach I I'll coach someone say in the mortgage industry. I've got a couple people on my roster right now. I've never actually done a loan done many loans as the borrower but not as like a person

1:25:54running a mortgage branch. Yet it turns out the language of business has a lot of common things between each business. And so I'm able to step into that world and look at their world and go well hey have you thought about this idea or have we explored this? and coming at it. Actually, your best ideas in your business might come from outside your industry. You know, you and I were not in the golf business, Katelyn, and I I we play golf. We love golf, but we neither one of us had ever run a golf club. And it turns out the best ideas in the golf business are going to come from outside the golf business. We're bringing ideas from our real estate teams and from our other companies, our insurance business, and our other companies, and bringing them into the golf world.
Sure. So the coach, right? Like again, Google hired a coach. The founder Eric Schmidt of Google hired a coach, right? Bill Campbell wrote the book Trillion Dollar Coach was written about him. Awesome. Why would one like and he's the best in the world in what he did, Eric Smith. And yet he's got a coach that's helping him move forward faster, right? Because

1:26:57they are, you know, the thing we always talk about coaching, right? Is it's hard to see the label when you're inside the bottle. And sometimes the coach is just going like,
"Guys, I'm outside the bottle. I can just tell you this." Like I could tell you the serving size of this thing. I'm outside
and you can provide a different perspective. And it Katelyn, when you think about, you know, the data around coaching, what goes through your head?
Uh, well, I grew up as an athlete just like, you know, and and if you didn't have a coach, there was no way that you were really going to be able to compete against those people who did. And so if you didn't have whether you know I grew up playing golf and and volleyball but if let's take golf for example it if you look at some of the best in the world they don't have just one coach either they have a coach who is in the technical mechanical skill set of their swing and they typically also have a sports psychology or or psychologist or coach right who's going to help them with the mental components um those are some of the best in the world I don't know that if Rory McIlroy

1:28:01didn't have those coaches, I would bet he would say, "I wouldn't be able to compete against Scottie Scheffler." Right now, hardly anyone can even keep up with Scottie Scheffler these days. But my point in that is to say to be the best in what you do, you have to find someone who can from the outside look in and give you advice and accountability. Now, Roy Moy, I am positive, can go and look at his swing, uh, all of his stats on a Trackman, right? He can pull everything down. What's my attack angle? You know, how far am I, you know, what's my plane look like? What, you know, what's my smash factor, Brett? Right? He can say all of these things. He can look at it. he can probably understand it better than most, but he's going to look at his swing coach to help analyze it and explain it to him in a way that he'll be able to digest and implement. And so whether it's in a sport or it's in your business, you can look at all the statistics. Every one of our coaching clients has a flash report and a scoreboard, right? They're able to see

1:29:04what's up, what's down, just like on the TrackMan, they're able to see what every piece of that data looks like. It's someone from the outside helping them look at the data and analyze it and figure out the best way to make the changes in the business to help that person reach their goal. So it isn't about the visibility into the business. It's about someone who for your example, you know, you've got the water bottle, you have the label on the outside. When you're in it, sometimes you can't see from the outside. And so I think when I think about a coach, it really isn't. You know, today we have the best access to data, the best access to information, and the best access to honestly free advice and coaching, whether it's good or bad online, right? There's a YouTube for everything. There's this podcast, right? But you need someone uniquely next to you looking at that data with you to help make sure that you're navigating correctly not only today but for where you're forecasting and going in the future. And I think that's the

1:30:06really important part. We cannot coach ourselves. That is I mean Katelyn I just as you were thinking it's just it's so it is so true. We we think we can coach ourselves. You could go online, you could find the answer to anything. But what a great coach does, right, is at the end of the day, they compress time. They take what would have taken a decade to figure out on your own through experience, learning, education, whatever, and they could compress it to a year, a month, a week, right? Like there are I mean it that's what it does. So, Katelyn, I think people that are listening and watching this are going like, "I want to get a coach." And let's talk about how they actually go find one because go get a coach. All right. How do I do that? Right? I mean, if I you scroll on Instagram for four things and you mention the word coaching your phone five times, you're going to be blown apart by the life coach that started yesterday, right? And so, that might not be the person that's perfectly suited for you. So number one, what you should

1:31:08look for, find someone who's doing what you want to do at the highest level possible, right? They are going down the road that you want to go down and they're already doing it. By the way, Katelyn, this is probably not the most famous person on the social medias. Again, they're going they're they're like, you know, if this is a racetrack of life, they're 200 miles ahead of you on the track. Right? They've already kind of had the stumbling roadblocks. They've had the barriers. They found the opportunity. They hit scale. They figured it out. They did. Right. The And so I would also be looking at number two. Do they really have what you want? Business success is part of it, but I believe the personal makeup of the person. What if I told you, Keelin, here's a coach that's crazy successful, but in his journey over 20 years, he's been divorced three times, has no long-term relationships, and filed bankruptcy twice, but crushed it. Is that your person?

1:32:10
Probably not.
I got to be honest. For me, for me, it's not because I know I'm not willing to trade everything for success because, you know, I'm using my body of work as an example that I do believe your marriage can get better every single year. I do believe that I madly love my wife. Like we were a date night last night and you know we're 26 years in together, 21 married and it's better every day. And it's better because we work at it though. Like we genuinely show up. So to my point is would you rather and I'm not advocating that I'm the coach Katelyn. I'm just saying I admire the people I look up to and when I seek a coach, they got to have it all. I want the business success. I want the marriage success honestly. And I want the relationship success. If they don't have those three things, I don't give a how successful they were. That's not a fit for me. Okay. The next thing, right, you now this that was going finding them. You as the coach, you've got to demonstrate you're serious before you ask for anything.
Like in my relationship, my coaching, you're g even though you might pay for,

1:33:11you're going to step first. With Russell, I mailed that check. There was a chance he never called me back. And he would have been justified in doing that, by the way. Right. But and sometimes it might be the payment might be just doing the work, reading the book, doing the assignment, right? Are you serious about coaching? Are you willing to do the work? Third thing, right, in coaching, you got to pay, Katelyn. And there is no very few growth things in life without paying. Pay the fee. Sometimes the fee, Katelyn, is getting on the plane and going there, right? Like that's the fee, right? Right? It wasn't an ongoing like imagine in Gary's mind when this lunatic is in his room in the front row for like a decade, right? I was unavoidable.
I mean, he was every time by the way.
I have my designated seat.
When I go to the learning center, they're like, "We don't have a signed seat." I was like, "Yeah, we do. There's one." I know there's one.
Well, you also get there hours before anyone else,
so there's no way anyone's even in your seat.
Yeah. back then they the entry fee in

1:34:13that one Katelyn they all got on the bus I didn't get in the bus I got a I got a taxi back in the day got there early I didn't get on the bus because I wasn't going to guarantee my seat if I got there an hour you know I'd be like they're still setting up the room I was like hey I'm here early can I help set up and let me just kind of slide my chair in here and so pay the fee and then and then you've got to go do the assignment do whatever work they assign and you got to report back
the report back is the part people like when Russell said go do the 50 you know how many agents He's told to do 50 president. He says all the time. You know how many did it? Zero. I think I was the first one. I came back. I was like, "Dude, I did 50. I did it. Let me tell you what I learned." And he knew I had done the work cuz I was loaded for bear as I like to say. I was ready. Here's the eight objections. Here's how I want to handle it. Like I was there, right? So all of our people, our listeners of viewers could do this, right? Who's doing it at a high level? Not the most famous person, but who is already where you want to be? Okay. Are you serious? Are you committed? Are you ready to make the change? pay the fee, whatever that means to you. Get on the plane, go do the thing, get out there,

1:35:15write the check, whatever. And then you've got to be willing to take in the work and report back and ask for feedback. Doesn't mean that the work's perfect. You've got to be able to do it. And you can do all four right now. So, Katelyn, I would also tell them to look at the format. And I want to walk through like what we do and why I think it's different. When you coach with us, we're never going to jump on a phone call and go, "Hey, how was your weekend? How was the game?" Blah, blah, blah. I'm sure all that stuff's awesome. Our calls function off one thing, Katelyn, what is it you actually want out of your life? What do you want?
Yep.
I want to know that my first call with everyone I and people say, "Oh, that's a wide angle question." No, I make them actually define it over 30 years into the exact dollar figure that they will have in their account in 30 years from today. Then we go to where they are now and then we build a plan to go there, right? And then there's going to be two components of that plan. One's going to be how do you increase your income? The other is going to be how do you invest the dollars so that you can grow and hit this wealth number and one day you don't have to work and live the life that you wanted. And I we spend time, you and I, figuring out what people actually want out of their lives. What do you actually

1:36:19want? Then you create the scoreboard. How are we going to measure progress? Okay. How will I know that the work that I do this week leads to this month that leads to January of next year that lands me at the exact destination I want to be in? That's what a great coach is going to do. If they do not have a way to forecast your future and work backwards to the activities you need to do today that actually matter to get what you want out of your life, you're not in the right game. We do that through a variety of tools that you're familiar with and we we take their org chart, their business plan, their PETA, their tools, all of that. And then the part that no one talks about, most people have our personal lives a disaster. That's why your personal life might be the thing dragging you back. And if we fix that, give you the scoreboard, free you up, people start crushing it. Katelyn, the language of business is math. I wish it weren't because I wasn't good at math. I got good at math, right? You cannot coach feelings, Katelyn. We've got to have hardcore math. And so we we ask people three

1:37:23questions, right? We talked about the first one. Where are you? Where are you really? Not a story, not like what you did eight years ago, one time I used to be successful. No. Where are you at right now? And Katelyn, I the my running joke is I've researched all the times in history to be great. I really have. I've gone back to the 1930s. I've gone to the 70s and, you know, late 90s, early 2000s. Katelyn, do you know when the the time to be great is the best time in history?
Right now.
It's today. So, we've got to go where are you today? Next, once we know where you want to go specifically, right? When someone throws out a huge net worth number, where do you actually want to be? Why? I ask the question, why about 10 time? What does that number do? Is that just a number on a page? Because you'll never do it. It's got to mean something.
Mhm.
Right. You've got
the money will do for you.
Like spec like I could tell you I have one more thing personally in my life that I'm going to do that is astronomically expensive. Um this beach place that I want, Mexico. But that like

1:38:25I I I'm driven by that because I know exactly the house. like I know where it's located, right? I and as you know better anyway, I obsess about things and then so like the goal the third job of the coach, how do I increase your income as fast as humanly possible, right? Because the income is the fuel that we can use to get you to freedom. And so we have as you know our format, it's 45 minute calls. It's two calls per month all moving forward towards their goals. And what I love and and no matter where you go to coach or find your person, it the conversation should sound like what I'm about to do with Katelyn. So if we were on a coaching call and we jump on there, I would say, "Katelyn, what's up?" She'd say, "What's up?" Perfect. Katelyn, get right there. I go, "Give me the biggest victory since you and I last spoke. What are the victories in your world?" I want to know where success is being created in Katelyn's world. And what's the goal of the coach? The goal of the coach is to expand that success. How do I multiply it? How do we do more of it? Is there a related lane we can go down? In other words, how can we massively scale what's working in your

1:39:27business? Second thing we do, Katelyn, biggest challenge since we last spoke, what's going on? This could be a paragraph, a sentence, bullet points, doesn't matter. What we're doing there is like the coach is trying to help you remove the roadblock. Again, they're flying up above you. Imagine you're running through the forest. They're flying up above and they can see everything. So, they're trying to say, "Hey, Katelyn, like let's let's bank left. I don't know about this. have you thought through this? Right? We're trying to remove roadblocks and allow people to run faster. And then you've got just hot topics that were as they did the work, the action items that were assigned and the accountability, Katelyn, we're going to go through that and we're gonna that's going to be on the hot topic like, hey, I got stuck here. This doesn't make any sense to me. I accomplished this. Right? And so at the end of the day, there's got to be a connective tissue between every call. And so what you and I do, right, we're going back to what happened.
And when you do that, right, like it's it's funny. I've I've been, as you know, on my roster, I've been coaching some of the same people. I think my longest client, we're coming up on almost a decade together,

1:40:2910 years, and I can tell you it's it's a she. During this period of time, she has gone from, you know, a solo agent, I'm not going to use her name here, to building what I'm going to call an empire. I mean, it's truly lives her her dream every day. I mean, lives her dream home. By the way, I had nothing to do with all this. I just lit I I shined a flashlight on a dark path and she ran, you know, I was able to shine a light. She's like, I can if you shine a light, I can run really fast
and but got her dream house, takes her dream vacation, has passive income that radically exceeds any of her expenses and can do whatever the hell she wants to do, which is which is the point of life. And so, Katelyn, as we're as we're as we're going to the next part, we would be we got to talk about how do you be coachable?
How do you actually
It's easy to pay the fee, Brett. It's easy to show up on the call. It's easy to do those things, but if you're not coachable, like the gal you're talking about right now, if you're not coachable, or when you sat down with

1:41:31Russell Shaw, if you're not the coachable one, nothing can happen. As my dad used to say, what's the constant? It's you. So, if you're not coachable and you don't walk in the room that way, the only person to blame is you. So, what do we have to do to be coachable?
I I ask people, Katelyn, when I start coaching them, I say, "Hey, on a one to 10 scale, how how coachable do you think you are?" And they they make up a number of seven. I go, "Oh, cool. What would it take to be a 10? Where are you not coachable?" Because like if I'm going to say, "Hey, I think we should try it." And you're like, "Oh, but if you've got some perspective on it's not going to work, right? That's that won't work." And so the first rule of coaching, right, to do coaching, number one, you're going to get out of it what you put into it. I'll give you an example. I think some I've had a time before and I'm sure you have where I get on and I can tell someone's driving in their car while my coaching call me and all I think is
bing bong bing door slam and I'm like, you know,
click click click
respectfully I'm going to tell you they're not getting they're not that person is not

1:42:33getting the most out of it.
They're just not right. So if if your coach assigns you an hour task or like like if they spend an hour with you, you probably should spend a multiple of those hours preparing for that call. Like I could tell you with Gary, like like to give you an example, I once happened to be in the Bahamas when I had a coaching call with Gary and the Wi-Fi was a little spotty at my location. And so I spent the better part of four hours going around the resort to find where the Wi-Fi was and if I got close enough, would it be better? And I tested that and it was I took a chair to like a maintenance area and I mean I'm on Zoom with him because with Gary it's all Zoom and he's like where are you like you look like by you're by a maintenance facility. I was like oh no this is worthy of the business center. This is the business center. I know it doesn't look like it but it's all incredibly
don't worry about it sir. Nothing to worry about
sir not a problem but I spent four hours to just find the location to distill the information. Right. I had a client of mine that said for every call he put in about five hours to prepare for the

1:43:3545minute call.
So I would say
that's exactly what client you're talking about
and he got the most out of it oddly. So number one you're going to get out of it. What do you put into it? If you're taking the call on Zoom and you're not paying attention, you're texting in the side or in your car and you're bing bonging. That's a problem. Number two, they bring raw numbers and not stories. The best part, my favorite part about numbers, Katelyn, is they're not stories. It's my favorite part. So, if you actually have the P&L, the balance sheet, the appointment tracker, the flash report, you know, you can't coach feelings. You can only coach numbers. And if we've got some historical data, we can figure out how to solve any problem. Right? If the question is, I want to lose some weight, Katelyn. The first question we got to know is, what do you weigh?
What do you weigh today?
It's going to be real hard to go like, well, I think that I weigh 200. What if it's 220 or what if it's 185? We if we have no measurement stick and we don't know where we are then travel any road you want right you got to bring raw numbers. Third thing you got to do the action items. The call is not the coaching. The call is a setup to get you to go do

1:44:40the work. You go have an experience. You come back and share the experience. That's why there's two weeks in between calls to have time for you to go do the work and have the life experience. you come back and then we can figure out what worked, what didn't, what changes need to make, and how do we go forward. Next thing, Katelyn. You got to tell the truth. I know it sounds crazy. You'll have clients lie to you.
I know that's I I got a client who I knew was lying to me and he's going to listen to this and he knows cuz I called him out. I said, "Dude, that's You're lying to me." And I I go at that level, dude. Do not lie to me. I can't fix what I can't see. Right? It's like you you put me in a batter box, put a blindfold on, and tell me to swing. Well, I I'll hit a couple of them out of a thousand, but I can't see, right? You've got to be honest, right? Be honest. Next thing, take one thing out of every call and go immediately. Take immediate action leading the call. When you get off a coaching call, the next hour should already be blocked off and you should immediately put what you learned in action.
That's such a good one,

1:45:42
Katelyn. In my world with Gary, first of all, the the Zoom will be scheduled for 30 minutes and it could be 30 minutes to three hours. That's kind of our even regardless.
You walk off pretty much the whole day. If you're
if I got a call with Gary at 1 p.m., I just say, "We're going to zip the rest of the day out. I don't know how long it'll be." And I know when I'm done, I know that I need two hours to process the lessons. Literally, I take it that serious. And I got I mean, I have a library from him, right? So, I'm literally go I got to block the time and next bring the coach your stuff, right? I'm looking at this investment and I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about this marketing thing. I want to go do this new product over here. I'm going to hire Sarah and here's her resume. Bring your items to the call and be prepared. If you do those six things, Katelyn, you're coachable. You will get those out of it. don't do them. It's oh my coach doesn't really but are you showing up for them right? There was a time where like I had this coach that I was paying

1:46:45for and I got that moment where I was like man I don't know that I'm getting as much out of it as I should be and then I flipped the question over but hold on what am I putting into it and the next call I fired over an agenda. I was like, "Hey, I want to go hard on." And that was my best coaching call ever. And I was like, "Oo, that wasn't him. It was a me problem." Right? I'm showing up in the 11th hour, running from the thing before, getting rattled by the journey of life. Instead of going, "Wait, the hour before should be me now. I did all the work. I'm organizing my thoughts in a way I can present clearly to my coach. Here's where I'm at. Help me." Right? go through the call, get the answers, reorganize the work for the next two week, put blocks in your calendar, Katelyn, you crush it. And so I just think it's the next so critical. You got to do those things. Next thing, Katelyn, one last thing you got to do as a co I believe is being a coaching client of any company. You got to be a reader. And I know it's controversial and I'm going to tell you right now, Kindle's not reading. Your podcast is not reading. Audible's not reading. Those are not reading.

1:47:48
These are those are called We'll see if it goes through your ears. is called listening and reading. Let me show you this is so Katelyn this is listening. This is reading. Okay, you'll notice that they're different. And the reason why reading a physical book and this isn't I'm not antilind people and I got that comment before. It's none of that. It is a book allows you an opportunity to write stuff in them and fold down the dog and like they should be a great book is a reference manual. Katelyn we're going to come back to. So, I had this client Caleb that that tripled his income in a year, which is again not normal. Does all do all my clients triple their income in a year? Absolutely not. He did though, and I asked him, "If you give me three reasons why you're able to do that, what would they be?" Of course, he named me and I said, "Skip that one. Now, you still got to give me three." And you know what the number one was?
What?
Prior to this, Prior to this year, Brett, I had read about two books a year. And I challenged him to read three a month. So, 36 for the year. and he failed. Okay, failed complete failure.

1:48:5232 is what he read. Okay, which I was like, dude, you failed the goal. I mean, just we got to call it what it is. But 32 was a 16x increase over any prior year. Now, Katelyn, the books he read, they weren't just like, "Hey, what are you reading right now? I'm going to read the same thing." No. When he came to me, he said, "What should I read?" I go, "What's the biggest challenge or opportunity in your business or your life?" And then you read all the books on that topic. and you read them until you build the mental model and you can go execute it, right? Read those books, tripled his income and changed the game, you know? So, the knowledge we want, Katelyn, I could give you stories about Nick or or Isabelle or Kobe. I mean, these people are building these massive worlds and they've done it through coaching. And so, Katelyn, there's three relationships we all got to have. We covered how to go get them. We started this today with you. Number one, you got to have a peer on the journey, right? You and I, I'm so blessed to have you in my life. or peers on the journey. You've got to have the person that's already been there, that's already done the thing that you want to do, and has the

1:49:54life that you want, right? They got it all.
Yeah.
Find those people and run to them. They're out there. They just may not be the loudest person out there. And the third thing is you got to pay it forward, right? We've all been given many gifts in our life. You've got to find the person in your life that needs lifting up or there you've met them somewhere. The person that has that spark. you go back to help who you were. I this quote is from Rory Vaden and you know what he says, Katelyn, he goes, "We're best suited to help the person we once were." And I think that's like the most beautiful quote because when I see someone who's got a real estate portfolio that they've got their 12 rentals and it's not cash flowing the way they thought, they're climbing the mountain and we could take that and we could get them a Starbucks in air quotes, something like that. change the cash flow, change the trajectory of their life, fix their business, right? Like that's what it is about because I was that guy, right? I was the guy with 130 rentals that was climbing a mountain that I thought I was winning and I was just on the wrong damn mountain. And so, Kay, I hope we help some people today to

1:50:57think differently about coaching. I know you've had great coaches and it's changed everything for the both of us. This is the Be Wealthy Podcast. That's Katelyn Mitchell. I'm Brett Tanner. I hope this helped you figure out we all need a coach. Go out there, find your coach, and be wealthy.